


Bits and Bobs

by ladymacbethsspot



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drabble Collection, Ficlet Collection, M/M, Things from Tumblr, canonverse, explicit in chapters 3_6_8_9_13_18_31_32_36_37_52_53_63, generally chapters are under 2k words, mature in chapters 4 and 8, miscellaneous AUs, that are too short to count for much of anything alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-01-28 16:13:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 66
Words: 55,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12610528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladymacbethsspot/pseuds/ladymacbethsspot
Summary: This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...





	1. Levi's Thighs

**Author's Note:**

> I thought a lot about Levi's thighs when the key visual for snk season 3 came out.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Thick golden afternoon light slid through the window pane of his office in the Survey Corps Headquarters, making motes of dust in its path dance like fireflies. The day was coming to a close and it was time for a break from endless writing. Erwin wasn’t one to outright brag, but he considered himself a connoisseur when it came to some things. He pushed the mountain of remaining paperwork away, shifted into a more comfortable position in his chair, and allowed himself a few moments to daydream about one of those very things: Levi’s thighs.

He could see them easily in his mind’s eye, had often stolen casual glances at them or even outright stared when no one was likely to notice. Compact, muscular, like every other part of the diminutive Captain. The way the thin, light uniform pants clung to them left little to the imagination. He thought of Levi flying with the 3D gear, legs a blur of fluid grace, flexing to maintain balance as his body carved long arches, the fabric of his uniform encasing powerful muscles like a second skin.

A few times he’d noticed idly that the maneuver gear belts were fastened just a little too tight. Did Levi do it to tease him? He couldn’t keep his eyes from lingering at the slight bulge of flesh where the leather met supple fabric. How would it feel under his fingers? Erwin could envision that too, his large fingers rubbing adoringly over the firm swell.

It wasn’t just the uniform either- Levi’s thighs were glorious no matter what he wore (or didn’t for that matter). At times Erwin had seen him in more casual clothing, the black pants he preferred reminded him of their first meeting. They were nowhere near as tight, not as tantalizing in the same way, but they still had their own subtle charms. Revealing enough of the shape of his legs to hint but not enough to make Erwin’s blood speed up. Their attraction lay instead in the delicious possibility they presented.

Now, what about those black dress trousers? Elegant and trim in their cut, tailored perfectly to the man’s small stature. When there was an official ceremony, a party they had to attend, or an outing in the capital Erwin sometimes found himself immensely possessive. No one else appreciated the privilege they were receiving- Levi’s narrow hips, the tight, solid flesh of his limbs straining the thin fabric over them ever so slightly. With no belts in the way, no uniform wrappings, the meeting of strong legs and the delicious curve of sculpted ass was beautifully displayed.

Erwin shifted in his seat, somewhat less comfortable than he’d been when his mind began wandering. It was impossible to linger on these thoughts without his collar beginning to feel tight, his own uniform confining and close. But there was still one more thing to appreciate- he’d been saving the best for last.

The best was when Levi wore only the belts. Supple, worn leather against pale skin. The expanse of bare flesh underscored by lines of pale scars where dark hairs no longer grew and the gear straps’ cutting presence, edges pinching in cruelly. The slightly rough, often bruised traces they made- an additional punishment of the body on top of everything else they bore. Erwin would hook a finger underneath the leather, tugging the brutal buckle away from tender skin below. He’d trace his finger behind the belts, gently worshipping bruised flesh. After particularly rough training or an expedition those perfect thighs were defiled- rings of blooming purple and blue bruises angrily marking them. Then, as the weeks stretched on they faded to green, sickly yellow, and finally just slightly darkened rougher traces.

Erwin sighed, palming the bulge between his legs idly. It was a shame that those perfect thighs endured such treatment. They deserved much better- soft silks, something fine and luxurious. Even better, covered only by gentle lips grazing along their length, tracing up their insides in slow deliberate trails. Erwin longed to spread his hands over them, rubbing circles into yielding flesh, encircling as much of them as he could with his fingers. He longed to push them apart, the resistance of Levi’s muscles only a game they played together. Imagining those thighs encircling his waist Erwin groaned and touched himself again. He loved the way they squeezed his body, tensing involuntarily in moments of pleasure.

The handle on the door to his office turned and Erwin was snapped from his reverie, immediately grateful for the pile of papers between himself and whoever was rudely entering. The door swung open to reveal a small man with a dour expression: Levi. Erwin immediately looked down, eagerly appraising the man’s thighs. Their athletic curve was perfect, even better than his imagination. Erwin cocked his head to the side and fixed Levi with a dark gaze. When their eyes met he could see the pause, then the understanding as a wicked look flashed in grey eyes.

“Come in, Levi,” Erwin’s deep voice commanded, “Lock the door.”


	2. Meet Ugly: 1 Star Review

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a list of "meet uglys" going around Tumblr that had me laughing really hard so I decided to have a go at it. I love this list, it's gold.
> 
> Prompt: You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Levi sat outside on the shaded café patio reading his book and watching dog walkers, pram pushers, and the odd jogger pass by. He was just about to mark his place and head home when a man’s voice was directed at him.

“Hello,” A tall blonde man holding a steaming coffee said, “I don’t normally do this, I promise, but I noticed the book you’re reading. I’m reading the same one.” The man fished in his messenger bag and pulled out a copy of the book as proof.

“Huh,” Levi grunted, “Why? It’s one of the worst pieces of shit I’ve ever read.” He roughly jammed the book face-down on the table and crossed his arms. The man sat across from him, placing his things down, suddenly even more animated.

“I know, right? The writing style is all over the place! Also, there are far too many characters and I think they might all have the same name. I can’t keep anything straight. You look like you’ve finished more than I have, does it get any better?”

“Less confusing? No. You’re wrong about all the characters having the same name though- the author just uses the wrong name half the time.”

“You’re kidding, I hadn’t even noticed that!”

“You didn’t notice that characters were either being beamed up into the scene or had gotten a sudden, unexplained sex change?” Levi snorted, poking the book accusingly. The other man laughed.

“That would be a better plot than what they’re working with now. I’m not even sure what genre it’s supposed to be. I thought it was going to be a historical drama.” Levi gaped at him.

“Historical drama? How did you even get that from the title?”

“Well, what did you think it was?”

“Some kind of schlocky mystery- I was in the mood for something light,” He admitted, picking at the metal latticework of the table.

“The only _mystery_ is how it got published,” The man’s bushy brows wrinkled in disgust. Levi rolled his eyes.

“Was that supposed to be a joke?” Levi was feeling confrontational now, arguing about the shittiest aspect of the world’s shittiest book was making him agitated. Or maybe it was the coffee.

“Either way,” The man forged ahead after a fortifying swig of coffee. He waved his own copy of the book menacingly in front of Levi’s nose, “There are no redeeming qualities to this book whatsoever. It’s confusing, there are typos, the romance is unbelievably contrived, and the language is stilted and awkward.” The man was also clearly getting into the spirit of the argument, his voice rising and his tone more strained than before. His previously-perfect blonde hair was disheveled.

Levi sneered, “Stilted? Awkward? It reads like it was written by a committee of stoned teenagers who are each pretending to be a different famous author.”

The blonde frowned deeply, letting the image sink in. “Whoever wrote this book should be ashamed. Their command of the English language is offensively bad.” He took another swig of coffee, finishing it in one go and roughly jamming the to-go cup down.

“This whole book is offensively bad, I’m ashamed for them!” Levi slammed his hand down on the table to punctuate the statement, his own book bouncing off onto the ground at the impact. The other man grimaced.

“Are you going to pick that up?” He asked, pointing at the World’s Shittiest Book. They’d both calmed themselves somewhat after Levi’s violent outburst. Levi pushed at the now-dirty book with his toe.

“Hell no, I’ve already wasted too much of my life reading that thing. Let the pigeons shit on it for all I care, I don’t even want my money back.”

The man sitting opposite paused for a moment, then wordlessly pushed his own copy of the book onto the ground.

“Good riddance.” He looked at the ground where both of their books lay in disarray, pages folded and soiled. He looked at Levi and cracked a small smile. “I think you may have saved my life.”

“What do you mean?” Levi deadpanned.

“That book was _killing_ me.”

Levi groaned theatrically and shook his head.

“All this arguing has made me thirsty,” The man looked at him with one eyebrow raised in a rakish style. “Want to grab a drink somewhere?” Levi blinked, surprised. This man might have terrible reading taste, but he was bold. Levi admired that.

“Sure,” He muttered, looking away, “I could day drink with a stranger on a Sunday.” The blonde laughed and extended his hand in greeting.

“I’m Erwin, it’s nice to meet you.”

Levi took his hand, shaking it once firmly. “I’m Levi.”


	3. To Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonverse pining and something more. A general change of mindset, NSFW near the end. Mostly me playing with a different style, honestly. Gratuitous description. ~1.4k words (oops).
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

The first time Levi declines. He doesn’t need or want anyone’s pity. Pity has never helped a single soul, it silently mocks and leaves its victims as broken as it found them. And Levi will not be broken. There are plenty of other ways to distract himself and he finds them, seeks them out until he feels nothing at all. Nothing for the dead soldiers, nothing for his dead comrades, nothing for his dead friends.

Erwin doesn’t bring it up for a long time. It’s such a very long time, and, as the expeditions go by, Levi finds himself thinking back and lingering. He was so sure it had been pity, but the look on Erwin’s face when he refused wheedles its way into the back of his mind. It lodges there and tortures his thoughts. A flash of hurt, a quick dropping of the careful mask of polite indifference. It was replaced almost immediately, so swiftly that Levi is almost unsure he didn’t imagine it. But he is sure.

Time passes, the grim and exhausting refrain of training, strategizing, expeditions, and loss playing for verse after verse. Levi grows to understand slowly. The need to compartmentalize. The need to create two separate selves and wall off his own impotent rage. He spends more and more time with Erwin, seeing behind the mask more and more frequently.

He doesn’t know if Erwin is letting him in, or if it’s something else. Levi wonders if he has developed a second sight or become fluent in a language more subtle. One made up of blinks, tension in the jaw, the suggestion of knitted brows, a twitch of the mouth, the pacing of breaths, and always words left unsaid. Erwin says volumes more in silence than in speech.

He says, without saying a word, that he is tired, as he sighs into his paperwork and ignores Levi sitting on the couch, pretending to read books about military strategy. He says, without saying a word, that he is overwhelmed, while accepting Levi’s finished reports, and exchanging more forms for a cup of tea. He says that he trusts Levi, that he relies on Levi, that he would be lost without Levi. These things he says when he asks Levi’s opinion, when he gives Levi tasks he’s clearly unqualified for, and when he falls asleep at his desk after Levi reminds him to eat.

It is not until Levi has his own squad, his own painful responsibilities, and his own fresh set of worries that Erwin dares to ask again. This time Levi knows it is not pity. This time, Levi agrees. He stays the night.

He finds that what Erwin had in mind was much more chaste than the blanks he’d filled in on his own. They lie together in the bed, holding each other and breathing each other’s air into their lungs. For once Levi feels warm, finds it simpler to relax. Erwin’s arms hold every misshapen piece of him together, forming something closer to a whole than he’s been since before he can remember.

Erwin falls asleep quickly, his breathing slows and the muscles in the arms draped over Levi loosen. Levi’s ears fill with the sound of breaths and heartbeats as the world becomes a small circle of warmth. When Erwin groans and kicks him sharply in a troubled sleep Levi understands. The request was not for his benefit after all. It was a selfish one. He asked, not out of pity, but to calm his own demons. Erwin asked because he trusts Levi, relies on him, and would be lost without him. No one else has been invited to this most intimate of moments, no one else has been assigned the duty of keeping the dreams at bay.

So, Levi hangs on and sleeps as well as he can, savoring the warmth and the contact while trying to carry out his duty as loyally as he follows orders on the battlefield. In the morning, they say little and Levi hides the bruises on his shins.

As months stretch on Erwin requests more frequently and eventually Levi joins him without prompting. After an expedition, when funding campaigns are unsuccessful, even just when Levi detects something faraway and strange in the eyes of his commander. The nightmares never end, but their force seems to dull over time, their violence defanged by warm embraces and soft touches. The scent of skin becomes familiar and then comforting. And Levi sleeps longer and more easily than he has since before he can remember.

One night their lips find each other and Levi knows there is no going back. He regrets nothing, even wonders briefly why it took so long to reach this point. His head cradled by Erwin’s large hands, they taste each other hesitantly in the dark. It’s not a lack of experience that makes them awkward, they are both simply out of practice with the niceties of tenderness. They do not continue, not that night, but Levi falls asleep quickly and no demons arrive to fight Erwin in his sleep.

The embraces become more regular, less tentative, and Levi steals into Erwin’s bed of his own volition. What had been a duty assigned to him by his commander is now an indulgence that satisfies some deep unnamed need within him. A need for touch, for affection, a need for Erwin. Levi speculates that perhaps this was Erwin’s purpose all along. But he doesn’t question and doesn’t care. He takes what he is given, and returns what he is able.

One night Levi tells Erwin things about his past he’s never revealed to anyone. One night Erwin laments that he too is simply stumbling forward towards an undefined goal, doing the best he can to inspire and lead. These nights are not happy, but they are not sad either. They are necessary and Levi folds their memory into his mind, storing them side by side with the other nights they share.

One night a simple embrace and the closeness of their bodies isn’t enough. It isn’t enough to sate the hunger that has grown from merely a rare pang into an ever-present craving. Their lips meet in a hot clash as though to devour each other whole. Fingers tangle into hair, holding their faces together. Tongues blindly seek out the far corners of mouths. They kiss until they’ve used up all the oxygen their bodies encircle, and then they kiss more. They kiss like the last two characters left at the end of the story.

Their hands become possessive, claiming the curve of muscles, the jagged edges of scars, the patterns of hair- dark and blonde. Fingers sink into flesh, kneading and insistent. Heat fills them from a source other than their closeness and their breath turns desperate and fevered. They rediscover the shape of each other in an overwhelming rush. Slim, lithe legs wrap into thicker, solid ones, entangling their bodies and fates. Their fingers seek and find, stroking at the mirrored desire between them. A large hand joins a small one, wrapping tightly around tight, hot skin as they move together. Their rhythm is instinctive, neither one leading or following as hips buck together.

Their lips pursue one another, Levi’s neck taut and craning while Erwin’s back and shoulders round. They taste longingly, urgently, teeth nipping swollen lower lips and tongues wrestling for purchase against slippery warmth. Their grip is firm, and they chase release, matching the cadence of their bodies. As they push over the plateau of desire they fall together, shaking and panting, the motion of their lips and hands forgotten in the rush and release. They lie still, moving only to look at each other. Eyes meet and they both say volumes more in silence than in speech. They say I want you, I need you, I love you. They say it with a finger traced gently along a delicate jawline, with the slight upturn of thin, severe lips, with the way limbs rearrange to accommodate their contrasting shapes in repose.

That night they fall asleep easily, slipping out of consciousness within the same moment. There are no interruptions to their slumber, no demons to banish. That night, Levi dreams, for the first time since before he can remember.


	4. Undertow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is quite heavy, canonverse and unhappy endings.  
> Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts, please proceed with care.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Reaching the ocean was unimaginable until it lay before Levi. Its existence irrefutable, assailing his senses. A tangy scent pricked his nose. The cool breeze off its surface coating him in a fine mist. It stretched endlessly, melting into the sky in a line somewhere beyond the perception of distance. It moved, undulating and beating. Wilder than a lake, calmer than a river, and flowing nowhere but out and back upon itself. So much water with no destination, no visible source.

Its power was quiet, and it moved those who saw it differently. Some waded in, feeling the water splash gently around their legs. Levi did not wade; he watched. Some explored the shore, picking up shells and examining alien creatures scuttling in the tides. Levi merely watched. Some were overcome, the reality of the unknowable future made solid, real, with the slap of waves and smell of spray. And still, Levi watched.

Only when night fell on the camp and there was no one to see him steal away, did Levi return to the shore. Alone, he could do more than watch. He could see. The line of the water was bright with the sun’s last rays reflecting on its ever-moving surface. Lights bounced, dancing and skittering in whorls of chaos. Levi walked forward, onto the wet sand where the water lapped, eyes trained on the distance.

It was like not like anything he’d ever seen before, not like anything he’d ever even tried to picture.

It was not a thing he’d ever wished for.

It was not a thing he deserved.

He deserved nothing.

What did it mean, that he stood here, but so many others did not? It meant he had failed. What did the future hold, now that they had reached the ends of the earth? The younger members of the scouts- he hoped it would be something worth their sacrifices.

But his own future?

Nothing.

For him, the ocean offered exactly what he deserved. Nothing.

Levi stepped in. The water lapped around his boots. Its smell encircled him, sharp notes joined by something bitter, the stench of decay and rot laced insidious underneath. He walked until icy liquid slid down over the tops of his boots, chilling him. And he felt nothing. The water moved around his thighs, tugging insistently against the fabric, against his weight. And he felt nothing.

He reached down, touching a finger to the water, and brought it to his lips. Salty. It tasted like blood. It tasted like tears. Boundless, unbroken, infinite tears. All those unshed, stored and carefully guarded with his life. From loss, from pain, from a single remaining regret. A lifetime of tears. They were here, surrounding him, pulling at him, and urging him forward.

He stared into the distance, not noticing the fading sun. The waves smacked unrelenting at his legs, forcing the memories they bore upon him. All those who fell, sacrificed cruelly to the journey that led him only here.  Back to everything he’d run from. Their faces were less distinct than he remembered, their edges and features mere suggestions. Except for one face. One face remained clear.

One single man. A man who smoothed his jagged edges, gave him meaning, filled every pock mark and crack of his self with purpose. A man who made him more than the sum of disjointed parts. Together, they were more. Alone, the pieces fell apart, crumbling to ash as they fell from his fingers. All that remained were memories. So, Levi remembered.

The face of a man he freed, and the moment he did so, the chains lashed tightly around his own soul. Freeing Erwin, he lost himself. A man who understood, who accepted every defective, twisted part of him. Freeing Erwin, he broke his word. A man who urged him to live without regret, had become the regret most painful to him. Freeing Erwin, he doomed himself. To a lifetime of tears. For his failure to save one single man, this was what Levi deserved.

Levi stepped forward. The water was heavy, pressing against his skin, pressing against his soul, pressing with the weight of tears left unshed. A lifetime of tears. He imagined the sea entering his body, filling his mouth, his lungs, his veins with their salt, replacing his blood. It would not hurt. Not as much as he already hurt, surrounded by anguish, drowning in grief.

He continued until the water reached his armpits. Its pull was strong, its embrace frigid. His chest was heavy with its burden, each breath a desperate, choked thing. Levi brought a hand to his face and his fingers came away wet. Whether it was the mist whipped off the water or his own tears mattered little. They were one and the same.

Levi inhaled deeply, pulling the salty air into his lungs, ready to see his journey through to its end. At the apex of the breath he paused. Memories rolled and tumbled over each other, waves crashing in his head.

Death, loss, pain, regret.

Perhaps this was what it meant to see your life pass before your eyes.

But there were other memories too, sliding around the edges and slipping into view.

New beginnings, new friends.

An objective, inspired in him, a hope, shown to him, and a love, entrusted to him.

Precious gifts from a man he could give nothing in return, except his loyalty. Nothing more than his life and his heart. And a chance to rest. Nothing more than-

But, no, there was still a single promise remaining, one thing left to give. It drew him back, a string wrapped tightly around his heart plucked by an unseen force. He looked back to the shore. There was no one there, yet the tugging at his heart compelled him to search the empty beach. When he looked out into the distance again he found that the sea was no longer tears. It was blood. A bloody promise left unfulfilled.

Levi turned his back to the horizon one final time and walked from the ocean. He could not be free from it, but neither could he be free from his promise. And one was more important than the other. It always had been. The ocean would wait for him, there, filled with his sadness forever.

A lifetime of tears.


	5. OTP Prompt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two very short drabbles were written based on the OTP prompt: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes? (Which, obviously, the answer is Levi ffs).
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

1/2: Business

There was something special about seeing his white button-downs on Levi’s compact frame, and watching the endless ritual of sleeves being pushed up hastily to the elbows always brought out another side to Erwin. Something protective and possessive within him watched the motion of those sleeves. How they clung for a matter of moments over Levi’s forearms, bunched and wrinkled, before making their way slowly down again. Swallowing up the skin and hair until they collected briefly at the bones of sharp wrists. Normally they’d be pushed up again, sometimes folded once-over lazily, only to begin their journey anew.

But other times they lay forgotten, slowly creeping over small hands and long fingers until they fell to their full length and flopped gently over the ends of Levi’s arms. Those times it was harder for Erwin to control himself. He wanted so badly to take Levi’s hands in his own, to fold the sleeves back gently and kiss the tip of each finger as it was revealed. He wanted to twine their hands together, to watch how Levi’s strong, small ones nearly disappeared in his own. And so, he did. He’d endure dirty looks, all the muttering and swearing in the world, just to hold those hands up to his mouth and press his lips lightly down their backs, over knuckles and tendons, feeling out their planes and angles as he went.

Usually Levi would pull away roughly at the first chance he saw, snapping his wrists from Erwin with a harsh twist. But not always. Occasionally he would relent, hands going limp in Erwin’s grasp, face softening into a contented half-smile as Erwin doted. The moments were rare, unpredictable. So, as the crisp white sleeves slipped down over muscular forearms, Erwin found himself silently praying to whatever gods were listening to let them continue on their way unhindered. To let gravity exert its unavoidable pull more quickly, to bring the cuffs down and their own hands together with its force.

Sometimes the gods needed a little encouragement, and Erwin did everything he could to please them. He made a regular offering. Each week he washed and pressed an extra shirt, a white one, draping it casually over the knob on his closet. Just in case someone was looking for something to throw on in a hurry. Just in case someone couldn’t be bothered with underwear and pants on a lazy morning.

Just in case.  

 

* * *

 

 

2/2: Pleasure

The week after the winter clothing came out of the depths of the closet Erwin’s sweatpants disappeared. The navy-blue ones. His favorite pair, the ones with soft fleece lining the inside. He searched for at least half an hour, banging through the drawers, sorting and re-sorting from one pile to another, all to no avail.

The next Saturday they reappeared. He came out the bathroom after his morning shower, toweling off his hair, and there they were. On Levi. Bunched and wrinkled, their bottoms tugged up only enough to reveal small toes peeking out of the elastic. Levi stretched, shoulders rolling against the headboard luxuriously where he sat. His toes curled. The sweatpants slipped down.

Erwin’s eyes travelled hungrily over pale flesh, resting on sharp hips cutting out above the waistband, following the dark trail of hair down to where it disappeared into _his_ favorite sweatpants. They kept going, pausing at Levi’s crotch, the outline of athletic thighs obvious in the baggy fabric. The outline of something more.

Levi noticed Erwin staring and wiggled his hips once. Playfully. He raised an eyebrow. Erwin grinned.

Perhaps it wasn’t time to get up. Not quite yet.

Not when he’d finally found his favorite sweatpants.


	6. Four Kisses (Within Error)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I asked for open-ended kiss prompts and four friends provided some excellent inspiration.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

* * *

Kiss #1 : Prompt- Erwin steals Levi's first kiss! 

* * *

It had taken time, but eventually Levi found his place in the Scouts. Eventually the bruises and scratches from scuffles ignited by his too-hot temper faded along with memories of why they’d been necessary in the first place. Eventually the structure and hierarchy became a comfort rather than an imposition. They ordered his life, giving him something to focus on beyond himself.

He grew complacent in the way one can only once they’ve learned to trust. To rely. It was not a weakness (for once), this dependence, but a way to bring them all strength.

To cement their bonds they trained together, lived together, fought together, and died together. To forget (for once) why they needed this strength, they drank together. Levi joined in less often than the others, but when Erwin asked he did not refuse.

The bar was dark, smelling of too many training-worn bodies and stale beer spilled countless times on the wooden floorboards. After a few ales this too faded, along with the memories, into something indistinct but familiar. They drank. They talked. Time slipped by, stretching meaninglessly, it’s flow broken only by the clack of tankards on tables.

Levi left the table to relieve himself. When he stepped from the small washroom he walked directly into Erwin’s broad chest. His steps faltered, trying to get around the larger man. But Erwin was just drunk enough to shuffle awkwardly in the same direction as Levi no matter which way he moved. Erwin was just drunk enough to place one hand on his shoulder, stilling him, and another hand on his chin, turning it up, so that their lips met as Erwin bent down. And Levi was just drunk enough (for once) that he froze.

Erwin’s kiss was firm but imprecise, more naked desire than skill. Levi was too surprised to resist until he felt Erwin’s wet tongue probing his lips and pushed the other man away, wriggling free. Suddenly he was not drunk enough.

He left the bar in a rush, not stopping to think until he found himself outside on the dark cobbled street. It was there that his brain caught up. He sank back, leaning on the brick wall, puzzling over his urgent heartbeat, the warmth in his cheeks and neck. He brought a hand to his face, fingers paused against his lips. They were still damp from Erwin’s mouth.

He did not notice the door to the bar open; a blonde man stepped out into the night and paused next to him. He did not notice Erwin until the other man spoke.

“Are you okay?”

Levi’s attention snapped to Erwin’s eyes and immediately away again.

“Whatever,” me mumbled, “It’s nothing.”

Erwin pressed on, “I didn’t mean to force myself on you, it was unprofessional. I apologize.”

Levi looked back at Erwin, his lip curling into a sneer. “That’s not it, you fool,” he spat. The careful blankness of Erwin’s expression faltered. His features struggled to convey something Levi couldn’t quite name. Confusion? That was too simple, and now it was gone, replaced by the neutral gaze Erwin preferred. The one that always compelled Levi to fill the silence with explanation, to stumble over the unbidden words that tumbled from him.

“I just hadn’t imagined it that way.”

The ghost of a smile played at Erwin’s mouth. “Imagined what that way?”

That same look.

And Levi might no longer be drunk enough, but (for once) the words came with no struggle as he offered them to Erwin.

“My first kiss.”

 

* * *

Kiss #2: Prompt- On a trip, they went out to drink something. The kiss happens before the rain, at night, clean air and heavy floral scent. Consider the taste and smell.

* * *

A perfect ending to a perfect evening, Levi sighed contentedly as he sank against the solid form of Erwin next to him on the park bench. They shared the circle of honeyed glow from the streetlamp above in silence, relaxing in the evening air. It was a beautiful city, and the small park they’d happened upon after dinner was just one more gleaming pearl in an unbroken string.

Levi stretched idly. He was full and content, sleepy and slow from so many sights and experiences in a single day. His eyes drooped and he closed them for a moment, focusing on his other senses. The air was fresh, slightly heavy with the promise of rain. The heady smell of evening primrose, unfurling as the sun set, wafted around them. Earthy, spicy, and comforting, it wrapped him in its soothing embrace.

Erwin shifted against his back and he felt the weight of the larger man’s head resting on his own. A strong arm wrapped around his waist, bringing him closer, fitting him neatly against Erwin’s side. He opened his eyes and turned, finding his action mimicked. Wordlessly they sought each other out, mouths meeting in soundless harmony.

Velvety and rich, hints of bitter tannin, Levi could taste the wine lingering as their tongues wound around each other. The air, the flowers, the wine, and Erwin. His senses danced from one to the next as their symphony built to a crescendo performed by lips, hands, breaths.

He leaned into the finale of the kiss, probing deeper to savor the flavor.

A reminder of a perfect evening.

A sultry hint at the night still to come.

 

* * *

Kiss #3: Prompt- Some kind of kiss fail? Like a kiss ending with either someone falling or missing? Or like one person leaning in for a kiss and the other just makes a raspberry noise...

* * *

Baseball was not Levi’s favorite sport, but he was willing to suffer through a game or two to keep Erwin happy. Besides, if it was only once a year for Erwin’s workplace social outing, he figured he might as well pretend to enjoy it. The hotdogs weren’t bad and watching Erwin drink too much and forget the words to “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” was usually worth the trouble.

Luckily, the weather was gorgeous, not a single cloud in the sky, with a mild temperature. Their local team was doing well, apparently for the first time that season, and Erwin’s coworkers were all in good spirits. Levi zoned out, staring at the players on the field. Their uniforms weren’t bad. He wondered what those tight pants would look like on Erwin and smiled to himself. They would look good. Very, very good.

Levi was about to lean over to whisper his sudden inspiration to Erwin when he noticed that everyone around them was staring. They were staring at him and Erwin. He blinked, confused, before seeing a coworker point at the large screen above the field and mouth something silently at him. Looking at the screen he realized what was happening- there they were, larger than life, on the “kiss cam”.

Erwin leaned in and Levi turned his face to meet him. Not quickly enough. Erwin’s open mouth landed on the bridge of his nose with a bump and a wet _smack_ , jolting them both. Levi returned the kiss in the same moment as a pursed raspberry in the empty air. The force of the untimely collision had knocked Erwin’s hand, tilting the beer he was holding, and Levi’s chest and lap was immediately soaked.

Levi swore, pushing Erwin back into his seat and glaring at the people around them, as a simultaneous roar of laughter erupted from the stands. He crossed his arms and frowned. Erwin gave a sheepish laugh.

“Sorry about that, Levi, I didn’t mean to spill on you.” Erwin’s apology was genuine, but the damage was already done. Levi felt like a wet cat. A stinky, beer-soaked, wet cat.

“Very smooth.” He snapped at Erwin. He stood, wiping his hands on already-soaked jeans, “I’m going to the bathroom, maybe I can wring some of the beer out of my shirt.” He stood, climbing over Erwin to get to the stairs.

As his foot landed on the top of the stairs he felt a hand grab his upper arm, tugging him back and around. He whipped around to see Erwin with a goofy grin on his face.

“Hey Levi, I’m really sorry.” Erwin reiterated. He took another step up the stairs to meet Levi and leaned forward. This time was far too fast. Too quickly, the tug on his arm unbalanced Levi. Too quickly, he tipped back. Too quickly, Erwin overcompensated, moving forward in a vain attempt to steady them both. A colorful swear came from Levi. A surprised yelp came from Erwin. They landed in a heap at the top of the stairs, limbs tangled beneath and between their bodies.

Levi groaned. Erwin laughed. They struggled for a moment before regaining their composure and helping each other up. Levi sighed heavily.

“This place is cursed, Erwin. Let’s get out of here.”

“You’re right, it’s probably for the best at this point.” Erwin replied, nodding his agreement. He caught Levi’s hand in his own. He leaned in once more and Levi stopped him, holding up his other hand warningly.

“Save it, Erwin. This is not the way I want to die.”

 

* * *

Kiss #4: Prompt- Erwin kissing Levi anywhere but his lips, exploring his body slowly. Levi gets frustrated.

* * *

It was a sort of ritual, one Erwin performed with a fervent dedication only the desperate know. After an expedition, his eyes might try to convince him that Levi had returned, but it was never enough. For the unforgiving vice in his chest to ease, for his stubborn mind to break from its circling trap- for these things a very specific ceremony was invoked.

A type of worship whose power lay in the slow, steady pad of fingers. Calloused and shaking, never enough. A sermon whose verse was spoken soundlessly by lips pressed to skin. Chapped and hungry, never enough.

For the rite to be complete, not a single step could be neglected. The reverberating echo of instructions escaped his head, cleansing him, only when offered to Levi, pressed to pale skin. Erwin’s burdens lightened by Levi’s strength. His brittle heart made solid and steady. For Erwin to be whole, not a single part of his lover’s body could be left unanointed.

Each finger and toe accounted in turn, decorated with kisses, the tender spaces between them mapped and tallied by lips. And Levi was pliant, relaxed in Erwin’s arms. The dirt under worn-down nails, not yet scrubbed away. Grounding and organic, never enough. The faint pulse felt through thin skin on the back of a hand, the curve of an ankle. Steady and vital, never enough.

Limbs outlined with traces of tongue, the shifting designs of hair smoothed to order with the press of thumbs. And Levi was patient, accepting Erwin’s confession. The musky scent hidden behind the angle of knees, laying in the crook where arm and shoulder meet, not yet washed from skin and hair. Animalistic and heady, never enough. The time-roughened marks left by chafing leather and buckles banding sinewy calves and thick thighs. Coarse and raw, never enough.

Hips and shoulders, chest and stomach, inspected studiously, wet kisses placed over them in a blanket. Each new cut noted, each darkening bruise counted. Compared to those that came before, to jagged pale scars and pocked reminders of stiches long-removed. Erwin worshipped them ardently, nipping and sucking until he added his own alongside. His blessings now harsh, Levi was frustrated, moaning and shivering beneath him. Nipples pricked into rigid peaks. Pebbled and tender, never enough. A cock hardened against him, the sparks of desire fanned to flame. Hot and insistent, never enough.

Unable to devour Levi whole, Erwin continued his agonizing dedications. Until there was a snap, the shift of mood almost audible.

Levi was no longer pliant. No longer patient. No longer frustrated. Levi was no longer content only to receive blessings. The object of Erwin’s prayers answered in a rush.

He pulled Erwin up until their lips met. Until their mouths locked, tongues twining to join them. Until their bodies wrapped together, rutting in a stuttered beat. Until they were overwhelmed and could taste and smell nothing but each other. Their kisses clashed, then accepted, then savored.

Clinging and wanting, too much.

Alive and needing, too much.

Too much, and never enough.


	7. A Capella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a thing I wrote leading up to Christmas 2017. My take on the holiday season is 50% festive and 50% exasperated. As usual, Levi has questionable luck.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

It’s not that Levi hates Christmas. It’s just too much. A season when everything is pulling your attention a million different directions. There are friends and family who come out of the woodwork, demanding time and affection. There are decorations everywhere, sparkling and blinking, overwhelming even when you’re just trying to pick up a quart of milk from the grocery store.

And there’s so much to buy. Way too much to buy. Candies and cookies, festive cakes and treats. Ornaments and knick-knacks to clutter up your apartment, your balcony, your hallway, your cubicle, your car, your entire life, really. All of it sparkly, shiny, red and green- over the top and glaring. Everyone gets into it, sending cards, ringing bells for charity, dressing up in reindeer antlers and blinking Christmas light necklaces to drink themselves silly on bar crawls.

It's just too much.

All Levi wants is to sit on his couch with a hot cup of tea and watch the snow fall. Maybe light a candle or two, maybe make some hot cocoa with marshmallows if he’s feeling particularly frisky. But it’s just impossible to ignore.

The office holiday party marks the home stretch of the long season leading up to Christmas. It’s a final chance for coworkers to get sloshed and sing too loudly and clap him on the back, pretending they remember the quiet guy from accounting who keeps to himself and glares a lot. What was your name anyway? Doesn’t matter, not when it’s Christmas season. The only saving grace is Hanji, the one other person he can stand at the company. Hanji is the only one who won’t force more cups of punch on him, won’t call him the wrong name, won’t tell him their awful stories of previous-years’ holiday party hookups.

Too much information, too much to drink, too much false cheer, just too much.

When Hanji pulls him into the high-ceilinged company atrium to see the a capella group, he just goes. If Hanji wants to see it, he’s not going to complain. Levi isn’t a Scrooge, and the punch is getting him in a slightly better mood this year. 

The atrium is lovely, for once it’s not overdone. A simple fake tree surrounded by red poinsettias, covered in silver balls, sits in the center. There’s a dusting of fake snow over it, not too sparkly, almost natural-looking. Some poor sap (probably a secretary) really put their heart into beautiful, delicate paper snowflakes fixed to the glass of windows and stairways.

The a capella group is between songs, chatting with employees. Levi looks them over. A group of grown-ass men wearing the ugliest Christmas sweaters he’s ever seen. They’re got crisp white button downs on under the hideous sweaters, collars peeking over the edges. It’s tacky and- is that a bowtie? A real bowtie, in the wild? A Christmas bowtie, no less? Levi groans internally and is about to take a well-timed bathroom break when the group begins singing.

It’s beautiful.

Levi isn’t sentimental, but the a capella group is good. It gets to him in the way only the harmonious blending of unaccompanied voices can. The bass is perfectly in sync, the baritones full and smooth. The soloists are charming and hit their notes with an ease that makes it look as natural as breathing. He sees a group of men singing, enjoying their music and their company. The Christmas sweaters aren’t so bad after all. Even Mr. Bowtie is- oh shit.

Mr. Bowtie is hot.

He’s tall, blonde, well-built, looks like he stepped out of a department store catalog. Mr. Bowtie has a deep, solid voice, one that reaches right into Levi’s core, sending a little thrill through him. He stands there dumbly, blinking and staring at Mr. Bowtie, the unfairly hot a capella singer. Hanji pulls them forward, wanting to get a better view, and Levi doesn’t protest. He’d love a better view. Once he’s got it, he can’t take his eyes off the man. Broad shoulders, the way his neck moves when he sings, a flash of friendly blue eyes, and- a wink? Levi feels his face grow warm and looks away.

When the song ends he feels its loss. The warm, rich voices have stopped singing, leaving just the murmur of the watchers and the muted sounds of the party from other rooms. He looks at Mr. Bowtie again and is surprised to see him approach.

“Did you like the song?” Mr. Bowtie asks, probably just making polite small talk. Levi gives a noncommittal nod, and Hanji elbows him in the ribs.

“Uh, yeah, I’ve never heard that version before,” Levi mumbles, cursing Hanji in his head.

“It’s too bad you came in at the end of our performance, you seemed to be enjoying it.” Hanji snorts and it’s Levi’s turn to glare at them.

“It was great,” Levi answers, keeping the frustration from his voice. What the hell is Hanji thinking, pushing him to talk to this guy? Mr. Bowtie is way out of his league. Even in that stupid sweater. It’s uncomfortable.

“I’m Erwin.” Levi looks up in surprise. Mr. Bowtie holds out his hand and Levi shakes it. His hands are very large.

“Levi,” very charming, Levi, he thinks, this is just going  _so_  well. But what is going on? Is this guy interested in him? He certainly seems to be looking at him in a very particular way, but it’s hard to know what that really means, after all.

“Well I can’t stay long, but here’s my card.” Levi takes the card from the man and reads it. Erwin Smith. Aural Fixation A Capella. Singer and Manager. There’s a phone number and an email. Levi suppresses an eye roll as Erwin continues, “If you know any other last minute parties or gatherings that are looking for some entertainment please contact me.”

Levi sighs internally. Hot Mr. Bowtie is not interested, just a business-savvy guy. What a fucking shame.

What a tease. 

It’s just too fucking much.

He looks back up at the man, not even bothering to hide his disappointment.

“Although,” Erwin adds, almost as an afterthought, “That  _is_  my mobile number. And I like coffee.”

Erwin winks.

This time, Levi knows it’s for him.


	8. Negatives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I asked for angst prompts on Tumblr from a pared-down list of dialogue bits. Three folks provided some excellent choices.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

 

* * *

Prompt #1: "Heaven doesn't exist."

* * *

 

A bloodbath. A massacre. A tragedy, and a shame. That’s what it had been, the expedition to take back Wall Maria. Even worse, there was no preventing it, no avoiding it. A farce. A deception. A betrayal, and a sin most grave. One Erwin orchestrated.

No one in the Scouts accused him. In a way, they too were complicit, they had followed his orders. Grief and blame were privileges reserved for those left behind- the family members who spat and swore when Erwin brought bad news to their doorstep. As the days wore on, the insults stopped bouncing off and began to stick. They coated him, heavy and thick. Even only visiting families that had experienced major losses was an impossible task. With the slow opening of each new door, the anguished look on each new face, their despair began to needle into his skin. Poking holes, perforating the thick armor one tiny prick at a time until it became nothing but delicate lace.

His comrades offered to help, but Erwin turned them each down in turn. This was his task, his burden. This was his penance.

‘Murderer’, the most common title he heard. Involuntarily, Erwin began to respond to it, wearing it like his own name. It was not untrue.

By the end of the second week signs of wear had become painfully obvious on the Commander. He slept little and ate less. All who had offered condolences were dismissed. But, this time, one man had refused to offer anything.

In the end, it was Erwin who sought out Levi. Late at night he knocked on the door to Levi’s tiny office.

“Enter”

Erwin did. Levi sat at his desk, writing. A single candle lit the small space, casting dancing light on the walls. In the shadows ghosts swayed and undulated, barely kept at bay. There were stacks of death notices on the floor next to the desk. They nearly reached the height of the desk itself.

Levi looked up, and looked away. His grey eyes were flat: dead.

“Levi,” Erwin began haltingly, “am I a murderer?”

Levi placed his quill down. He rose. Rounding the desk, he stood before Erwin.

“No, but you are a damn fool. At this rate you’ll kill yourself.” Levi’s voice was rough, tired and thin.

The movement was automatic, his arms coming up to pull Levi close, to fit him against his chest as though he could patch the holes in his soul with parts of the other man. Levi did not protest. Erwin could hear him breathing, and when he felt Levi’s strong grip on his jacket he let out a small sigh. His mind calmed, anchored by the faint rhythm of Levi’s steady heartbeat.

“You’ve done what you can. They’re somewhere better now.”

“No,” Erwin buried his nose in Levi’s hair, breathing in the familiar scent of life, “Heaven doesn’t exist.”

Levi gripped him harder, his hold almost painful. He responded slowly, each word posed with quiet certainty.

“That’s true. But at least they’re no longer in Hell.”

 

* * *

Prompt #2: "Lie to me."

* * *

 

“I love you.” The words aren’t spoken aloud, but they come, unbidden, to Erwin, for the first time, after an expedition. As they count the dead, subtract to find the living, and relief washes through him upon seeing that Levi is still among them.

He says nothing. Levi is the sharp point of a knife, and there is no space in war for love.

 

~

 

“I love you.” Erwin whispers in Levi’s ear, pulling him closer to borrow from his small amount of warmth before they must face another grueling day of monotony. Brushing long bangs from Levi’s forehead, he smiles at the rare glimpse of Levi’s features softened by sleep.

He is glad that Levi doesn’t hear; that he can’t see this unnecessary display. Levi is a wild creature, too harsh and beautiful to tame.

 

 ~

 

“I love you.” Erwin groans into Levi’s hair in the heat of passion, as he finds release wrapping thick thighs around Levi’s lithe waist, pulling him in.

Levi pauses. He continues as though he has not heard. Although, it is very quiet but for the sounds of their lovemaking. But then, maybe he did not hear.

 

 ~

 

“I love you.” Erwin pleads, hands cupping Levi’s upturned face, after ordering him to stop fighting, to let his injuries heal.

Levi frowns deeply, dismissing the words with a toss of dark hair, and will not meet Erwin’s gaze.

“I have nothing for you,” is his terse response.

“Lie to me, then.” Erwin implores him, his throat tight.

Levi shakes his head again, and walks away.

His limp is well-concealed.

 

 ~

 

“I love you.” As quiet as a sigh, Erwin whispers when he wakes in the hospital bed and sees Levi curled up on the chair next to him. A dull ache remains where his right arm once was. It matters little; it had been replaced long ago, in a way, by Levi’s presence.

Levi stirs and looks at him, eyes flashing with unexpected anger.

“You could have died!” Levi spits in his direction. The rage fades slowly, replaced by a shadow so lonely it tugs at the root of Erwin’s heart. Softly, he adds, “I thought you had.”

Erwin feels himself relax into the pillows.

Levi may never say the words.

But he doesn’t need to.

 

* * *

Prompt #3: "Coward. That's all you are. A Coward."

* * *

 

It was too much. This game of loaded words, of heavy gazes. It made Levi uncertain and excited and anxious all at once. But more than anything, lately, it made him angry.

Everything had started slowly. Levi wasn’t even sure himself when he’d noticed it. Noticed the Commander’s eyes on him. Feeling them watching when no one else was. At first, it had seemed natural. Erwin was right to be suspicious of a man who nearly killed him. That was only natural.

Over time, it became something unnatural.

There was no longer a good excuse. Levi had proven himself in training and battle countless times. Erwin appreciated his skill, surely, but he also appreciated Mike’s strength and Hanji’s brains. Erwin didn’t look at them this way.

His promotion to squad leader hadn’t been a surprise, but the speed with which Erwin had implemented it had. Rumors began. Soldiers took him less seriously. Erwin stared, but said nothing. Levi brushed them all away.

The rumors spread to the capital. Fundraising trips among the nobles were hell. Erwin stared, but said nothing. Levi grumbled as they began to get under his skin.

The rumors intensified to a constant buzz. Their threat occupied Levi’s mind when he needed concentration most. Erwin stared, but said nothing. Levi sagged, bending as he shouldered the weight.

Until he couldn’t. Until it became too much and Erwin’s eyes felt like a brand searing into the back of his neck. Until the attention went from interesting, to annoying, to wholly overcoming.

It was almost midnight when Levi stormed into Erwin’s office, not knocking, not caring who heard as he slammed the door with a bang that echoed down stone hallways. Erwin looked up.

“Most people knock.”

Levi’s upper lip curled into a sneer. He approached Erwin’s desk, arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“Levi, it’s late. I don’t have time to play games with you.” Erwin reproached, turning back to the budgets and inventories.

“Games?” Levi asked, his voice a low hiss, “You don’t have _time_ for _games_? Is that what you think this is?”

Erwin sighed. “I’m sure I don’t know what this is.”

Levi’s hand slammed down on the desk, sending Erwin’s spare quill skittering across it with the force. Erwin looked up, locking eyes with Levi. His expression was neutral, face giving nothing away.

“You know exactly what this is, Erwin. You know because you began it. Do you think I’m blind and can’t see you staring at me every chance you get? Do you think I’m deaf and can’t hear what everyone whispers about us behind their hands? Do you think I’m stupid? Is that it? That I don’t know what you want from me?”

Erwin blinked, taking in Levi’s form and the disarray of his desk. The rage trembling through every muscle and tendon in Levi’s body, the way his eyes darkened and flickered. His gaze was cold, calculating in its appraisal. And heavy.

“Go to bed, Squad Leader.” Erwin answered calmly.

Levi glared, straightened, and adjusted his jacket. He turned on his heel and crossed the room swiftly. A few steps from the door he paused. He turned to face the desk.

“A coward. That’s all you are, _Commander_. A coward.”

Erwin froze, his expression fixed in place.

“What did you call me?”

Levi’s lip twitched. “I called you a coward.”

Erwin shook his head slowly. He stood from his desk, his full height imposing. “I’ve been called many things by many people. Things I agree with, for the most part. Things you’re free to call me at any time.” Erwin’s steps rang on the flagstones as he approached Levi slowly.

“Commander. Sir. Solider. Comrade. These are all things I may be called, that you are free to call me as you wish.” He moved closer.

“Murderer. Killer. Heartless. These I will not disagree with, though I’d prefer not to hear them from my own soldiers.” Erwin stood, now, directly in front of Levi, taking up his space, making the room tiny around them.

“But, coward? I am no coward.” He looked down at Levi, eyes serious. And heavy.

Levi glared back, unintimidated. “Fine,” he growled, “prove it.”

Erwin moved, as quickly as though in battle. He caught Levi’s chin in his hand, tight grip tilting it as his other arm wrapped around Levi’s waist, lifting easily. Levi gasped as their lips met, as Erwin’s tongue pressed into his mouth- desperate and heavy like those blue eyes had been. It only took a moment for him to return the hungry kiss, to place his own possessive hold on Erwin’s back and neck.

When they broke apart, starved for breath, need shone in Erwin’s eyes.

“You said you knew what I wanted from you.” Levi nodded in response. “What are you willing to give, Levi?”

Levi returned Erwin’s stare with his own. His blood thrummed, no longer from anger, but from a different sort of heat.

“What am I willing to give?” Levi paused. He licked his lips. His eyes were heavy. “Everything.”

 

 


	9. Drive Through Car Wash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses. I thought of the dumb headcanon that Levi gets turned on by going through the car wash. I really shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the internet.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

 

Levi was as meticulous about his car as he was with everything else in his life. Despite that the vehicle itself had likely seen better days, that was no excuse for neglecting its basic needs. It was always kept spotless. He never missed a single oil change. He vacuumed the inside every week. No crumbs. No road salt. Not even a crumpled straw wrapper or forgotten parking receipt.

Until he started dating Erwin.

He’d never even known that some people ate in their cars before. The very thought made him a bit nauseous. Disgusting. Animals. At first, he’d forbade it entirely. But, as time went on and the call of the late-night drive through became harder to resist (it was hard to deny Erwin anything) he loosened his rules a little. Only things that were contained in some kind of package. Only one item at a time.

Erwin repaid him tenfold, and on the anniversary of their first date Levi received a gift he’d never known his life was incomplete without.

A once-weekly pass to the car wash.

It wasn’t the closest one, but it was the one Levi liked best. None of that touchless shit. This one had brushes and noodles, all kinds of foam and plastic mechanisms to really scour dirt off. It did a damn good job, and his pass was for the fanciest wash. Undercarriage. Rust guard. Wheel shine- the works.

The car wash became a ritual. Every Sunday Levi got up and tugged Erwin out of bed. Well, he tried to at least. Sometimes they didn’t make it very far. But, once he’d finally gotten coffee into the other man they headed out to do their errands. It was boring, but it went faster with Erwin’s help, and the reward at the end was always worth it. A car wash.

Erwin had teased him about loving it so much until, one week, the blonde noticed something he’d somehow overlooked before. How Levi grew quiet when they approached the car wash facility. How carefully he maneuvered the left wheel onto the moving belt. How reverently he stared at the brushes. The little jump when the colorful sprays of soap hit the windows, painting thick foaming lines of pink blue and yellow. As the scent of clean filled the car, Levi let out the smallest shuddering breath, closing his eyes in rapture. Seeing his face- relaxed, muscles slack, mouth open ever so slightly, Erwin had an epiphany. And an idea.

A month later all the pieces of Erwin’s plan had fallen into place.

It was Sunday and the errands were done, groceries sitting neatly in the trunk. It was time to wash the car. Levi shifted the vehicle to neutral, relaxing into the driver’s seat and preparing himself, letting his arms fall uselessly to his sides as he stared straight ahead.

Erwin suppressed a grin.

The moving belt caught on the car’s wheel, inching them out of the bright sunlight into the cool, covered haven of the car wash garage. The brushes came down, whirring and spinning, already flecked with soap as they came into contact with the car. Levi watched them, mesmerized. Erwin watched Levi, amused and eager.

Noodles draped onto the front of the vehicle, shimmying back and forth as they dragged over the hood and windshield. Levi’s breathing had become deeper, his eyes glazed slightly. Erwin counted down the seconds.

The soap spurted out, drawing lines in the whorled patterns of left by brushes.

There was a screech and a jolt. The car stopped on the belt with a groan. Soap continued to spray, filling the interior of the car with its scent.

Levi blinked, pulled from his meditation.

“What the fuck?” He muttered.

Erwin turned to him slowly, on cue.

“Looks like we’ve stopped. There must be something wrong with the equipment.”

“No shit…” Levi answered, frowning lightly. He looked over at Erwin. Erwin shrugged, the very picture of innocence. “Maybe I should get out, see what’s going on.”

“No!” Erwin’s voice burst out, too loud for the small space. “I- I’m sure everything is fine. Let’s just stay here.” He added hastily. Levi nodded reluctantly, sinking back against the seat and staring at the soap still coating the windows. He sniffed the air, and Erwin saw the hint of a smile in his features.

“I guess it’s not so bad.” Levi admitted, relaxing visibly as he stared at the windows and breathed deeply. Erwin looked at the smaller man, enjoying a rare moment seeing his boyfriend out of his normally tense default state. He looked almost happy, enjoying being enveloped by soap and surrounded by industrial-scale scrubbers.

Erwin leaned over, capturing Levi’s mouth in a soft kiss. Levi made a small noise of protest but closed his eyes, melting against his lips. Erwin undid his seatbelt quietly, scooting as close to Levi as the front seats would allow without breaking the motion of their exploring tongues.

He laid his hands on Levi’s chest, gently smoothing the cotton t-shirt below them as he felt firm muscle beneath. Levi’s arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to deepen their kiss. The softness of Levi’s mouth, warm and slow against his own combined with the lemony scent surrounding them wrapped Erwin in a haze of pleasant arousal- a low buzz. His hands travelled lower, fingers spreading to cover as much as he could possibly reach, stroking across Levi’s abdomen, feeling his solid form.

Levi nipped at his lower lip playfully and Erwin’s hand slid into Levi’s crotch, pressing gently against the bulge of his jeans. Levi gave a small groan and Erwin pulled away.

“Is this for me, or for the car wash, Levi?” Erwin teased, stroking a finger over the trapped hardness under his hand. Levi spluttered, his ears and neck flushing.

“You. Obviously. Probably.”

Erwin chuckled, unbuttoning Levi’s jeans and easing the zipper down. He tugged Levi’s now-hard cock out of his underwear and leaned down, taking it into his mouth without warning. Above him Levi flinched and gasped, hands twining into Erwin’s hair as he quickly began to work at Levi’s length. Erwin licked and sucked at Levi, all slurping swipes of a sloppy tongue, exaggerating the hollow of his cheeks and twisting his head wantonly. Fitting as much as he could into his mouth in this position, squeezing and stoking the rest with large fingers. All interrupted groans, rough yanks at his hair, and stuttered jerks of sharp hips, Levi came quickly in Erwin’s mouth. Still gasping and shaking, Levi sat, holding onto Erwin’s hair before his fingers loosened and slipped away.

Erwin tucked him gently back into his clothing, zipping his jeans back up and redoing the button. He placed a chaste kiss on the denim now covering Levi’s crotch, earning a light swat on the head. He sat back up and beamed at Levi, taking in the glimmer of sweat on his brow.

“Did you enjoy yourself?”

Levi opened his mouth to reply and closed it immediately. A loud groan sounded below them and the conveyor lurched back into life, pulling them slowly through the car wash once again. Levi glared at Erwin, realizing again where they were.

“What the actual fuck, Erwin? We could have been caught. Besides, I’m driving!”

“Not really.” Erwin responded, settling himself back in his chair and buckling his seatbelt. “We weren’t going anywhere and you could have stopped me at any time.”

Levi shut his mouth, defeated by Erwin’s smug grin. As he shifted the car into gear, exiting the car wash, he stole a glance at Erwin.

“You planned that, didn’t you?”

“Who, me?” Erwin said, offended. “How would I even do that?” Levi looked over at him, eyes narrowed.

Erwin beamed. Levi shook his head, turning back to his driving. And smiled.


	10. A Night In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this for [Zeds_Dead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeds_Dead/pseuds/Zeds_Dead). I tried to include domestic Eruri stuff they liked, specifically cooking. Erwin tries really hard, guys.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Erwin heaved the last bag of groceries onto the kitchen counter with a satisfied sigh. He’d done a pretty good job by the looks of it, and he felt a swell of pride looking over the reusable bags full of vegetables, tofu, and fruit. He’d even resisted the cheese curls- even the cookies! As he unpacked the bags, tucking everything into the cupboard or refrigerator, Erwin let the repetitive motions lull him into a daydream.

Levi would be home at the end of the day. He would be tired; he always was after a shift. As one of the only male nurses at St. Catherine’s a lot of heavy lifting fell to his capable shoulders. Erwin could picture it clearly: he would open the door, say hello, and make a beeline for the shower. That’s when Erwin would spring into action, making sure the final details of his plan were in order. The flowers. The candles. The delicious, but healthy, romantic dinner, it was all for Levi. It wouldn’t be anywhere near what he deserved, but Erwin smiled to himself imaging the look on Levi’s face when he saw everything laid out on the table.

Erwin hummed a little as he sorted and organized the groceries in their places and tucked the other sundries where they belonged around the apartment. Levi did so much, he was usually the one to take care of errands like this. And cooking. And cleaning, though Erwin knew he secretly enjoyed that part. However, this week a startling number of his colleagues had called in sick. More and more shifts needed to be filled. Levi, always dependable, had taken them on- overtime many times over. Erwin wanted tonight to be different. He wanted it to end with more than Levi falling asleep on the couch, the television tuned to the latest detective mystery show they were working their way through, too tired for more than a quick peck on the cheek and a murmured, “Love you”.

The groceries stored safely away, Erwin set about cooking and baking. He chopped vegetables. He browned onions, their tantalizing aroma filling the kitchen. He measured stock and added it all to their largest pot. Looking at the soup recipe, Erwin squinted. Canned white beans? That didn’t seem right- he didn’t recall buying any. Opening the cupboard, his eyes scanned the shelves. For the first time in their many years together, Erwin did not see a single can of beans. But, what was that in the corner? Ah, he was in luck, they had plenty of dried white beans. Erwin smiled, grabbing the bag. He measured the beans out and added them to the pot. After bringing the whole mix to a boil, Erwin turned down the heat and put the lid onto the pot to simmer. Soup- check.

Salad was territory Erwin was more familiar with. As the designated lettuce-tearer of their relationship, he’d mastered the nuances of creating perfectly bite-sized pieces. He could create thin ribbons of red onion, and had long ago determined the exact ratio of romaine to spring greens that created a zesty, yet crunchy, base. Sure, he took a few shortcuts (those little grape tomatoes were just easier to deal with than slicing the larger ones), but he was confident in his skills. Dressing, on the other hand, that was more Levi’s thing. Erwin stared into the cupboard and refrigerator. Mustard? Olive oil? Vinegar? They had at least four kinds of vinegar. The more the merrier, right? Erwin selected the horseradish mustard and two of the more exciting kinds of vinegar. Wine was good, Levi liked it, so red wine vinegar would be just the ticket. Salad- check.

The final task was the most daunting, but Erwin was determined to make Levi’s favorite cake. He preheated the oven and began measuring and mixing. Baking soda? Baking powder? Well, he couldn’t find the one, but the other seemed fine in its place. It looked fine, all the dry ingredients mixed into an even powder in the stainless-steel bowl. Erwin poured and spooned in the wet ingredients and began to mix. He knew Levi usually used their fancy electric mixer, but it was a complicated machine for such a simple task. There was no reason Erwin couldn’t handle a little mixing. He mixed. And mixed. And mixed! Deciding he’d finally reached maximum mixitude, Erwin poured the batter into two cake pans and popped them into the oven, setting a timer. Cake- check.

Now all he had to do was wait. Erwin sat down on the couch with a book and settled back…

He awoke with a start, a feeling of deep unease prickling at his mind. No, that was his nose. Something was burning. Erwin shot from the couch, bolting into the kitchen and hastily throwing the oven open. His timer had long ago beeped its final warning, and the two cakes looked like victims of an auto accident. Erwin pulled them out quickly to get a better look. Somehow, they were both flat and burnt. He frowned. It would be too difficult to trim off the charred bits- they looked much too solid for that. Erwin sighed in resignation. Icing would just have to be enough to fix this problem. He mixed up a batch of icing and spread it generously over the cake he’d managed to pry from its pan. He placed the second cake on top and finished icing the whole lot, admiring his handiwork. You couldn’t even tell now, really.

Finishing the soup went off without a hitch and everything was done just in time.

Levi opened the door of their apartment, his heavy sigh and greeting reaching Erwin in the kitchen.

“I’m home.” He intoned, strain obvious in his voice. Erwin poked his head into the hall, winking and blowing an air kiss at his husband as Levi toes off his shoes. Levi rolled his eyes and slouched towards the bathroom, shaking his head in mock disgust.

Moments later Erwin heard the shower turn on. He knew he only had 10 minutes, 15 if he was lucky. He spooned the soup into bowls. He arranged the salad on small plates. He set the table with their nicest utensils, breaking out the cloth napkins and everything. A vase was located and filled with water, and Erwin dug a number of tapers and tea lights out of the cabinets. When he’d arranged everything to his satisfaction Erwin stood back, admiring his handiwork. Everything was beautiful, and as he turned down the lights (that dimmer had been a good investment) Erwin was pleased to note that the only thing hinting at his earlier difficulties was the cake. It still looked a bit mashed, and the icing seemed to have migrated off in some places.

Erwin heard the bathroom door open and caught a glimpse of Levi, towel around his waist, on his way to their bedroom to throw on some clothing. When he emerged a few moments later, Erwin smiled, watching his husband. His hair was still wet, mussed a bit where he’d toweled it off. He wore a pair of slouchy sweat pants and one of Erwin’s old t-shirts. The overall effect was adorable, the sleeves reaching far enough down Levi’s upper arms that they made his small frame appear even tinier. Erwin resisted the urge to gather him up in his arms, reminding himself that Levi was exhausted and likely not in a touchy-feely mood. Maybe later.

The first thing Levi noticed were the flowers. He jaw fell, mouth hanging open slightly as he took in the scene. Dinner. Candles. A large bouquet of showy poppies- striking set in the middle of the simple pine table. As his gaze flicked over everything Erwin watched his face change- eyes softening. Erwin walked over to pull Levi’s chair out for him, motioning for him to sit down.

“I don’t think I’m dressed for this, Erwin.” Levi said, as Erwin helped him scoot the chair in.

“That’s ridiculous. You can wear whatever you want, Levi, this night is about you.”

Circling the table and sitting down, Erwin watched Levi pick up his spoon. “I can’t believe you made all this. Everything looks amazing. Well, the cake looks a bit flat, but I’m sure it will be delicious.” Erwin winced but recovered quickly. He watched Levi eagerly, not wanting to miss a single reaction to his soup. Levi took a spoonful, enjoying the flavor. He seemed pleased. Erwin relaxed, his hard work was paying off. Levi took another spoonful as Erwin dug in. His spoon halfway to his mouth, Erwin heard a crunch, a yelp, and the clatter of silverware. He looked up to see Levi holding a hand to his mouth.

“Are you okay?” Erwin asked, almost standing up from his chair in panic.

 “I’m…fine?” Levi blinked and pulled his hand away. He stared at what was in it- a bean. “Erwin, these beans are really hard. Did you cook them long enough?”

“I don’t know. I cooked the soup the amount of time the recipe called for. But I had to use dried beans, I’d forgotten to pick up canned ones.”

Levi shook his head, an amused look playing at the crinkling edges of his eyes and mouth.

“Dry beans need to be soaked overnight or they take forever to cook.” He deadpanned, and Erwin could see he was holding back his amusement. “It’s fine,” Levi added, “the soup still tastes really good, and I can’t wait to try the salad.” Erwin handed him the bottle of dressing as Levi replaced the soup bowl with his salad plate. When he was done pouring it over the leaves, Erwin followed suit. Levi popped a forkful of greens in his mouth. Erwin groaned as he saw Levi’s mouth pucker. Levi’s eyes began to water. His throat worked as he swallowed the mouthful of salad all at once with very little chewing. Erwin covered his face with his hands, ashamed of whatever it was he’d done.

“This dressing is…hot. Very hot. And sour? Hot and sour at the same time? I don’t even know.” Levi wiped his watering eyes with the back of his hand. Erwin slouched back in his chair. First the soup, now the salad- had he done anything right? He peered through his fingers at Levi. Levi seemed to have recovered after taking a drink of wine. “I don’t mind having a salad without dressing tonight, everything else about it is perfect.” Erwin took his hands down from his face, nodding in relief. The man was a goddamn saint. He picked up their salad plate, heading into the kitchen to swap it with a fresh, dressing-less, one. He heard Levi’s voice from the kitchen.

“I’m going to try the cake, Erwin, I hope you don’t mind that I’m eating dessert first.” Erwin cringed. The cake. Of course. It was so burnt.

“No, wait, I’d like to test it first to make sure it’s okay!” He called back to Levi as a quick warning. When he got back to the table he felt a wave of relief. Levi had cut the cake and put a piece on each of the little dessert plates, but hadn’t yet touched his own. Erwin picked up his fork and cut a small piece from the cake. He stared at it. Levi stared at him, confused. It didn’t look as burnt covered in icing. It did look rather dense though. Erwin steeled himself and took a bite. He frowned deeply, stifling a cough. He watched, in dismay, as Levi hung his head, cradling it in his hands.

“Wait, Levi, don’t be upset. I tried to make things you’d like for dinner, I’m so sorry everything turned out this way.” Erwin stammered, rising from his seat.

He could see Levi’s shoulders shaking slightly. What had he done?

“I can fix this. Let’s order something- from that Mediterranean place you like to much. We have plenty of wine, too.”

The shuddering of Levi’s form grew and Erwin rushed to his side, placing large hands on quivering shoulders.

“Don’t worry, we can still have a romantic dinner, Levi. I want to give you that. You deserve it. You deserve everything, and more!” Erwin paused. Were his words having any effect?

Levi looked up at him, taking his head from his hands. Erwin could see that his eyes were wet. His heart sunk deep in his chest. He’d messed up. How could he even hope to fix this now?

Erwin was jolted from his worries suddenly.

Levi opened his mouth, threw his head back, and laughed.

He laughed with his whole body. Shoulders spasming, body shaking. Erwin stared, shocked into silence. Then he joined in, his own chuckles growing as he watched Levi. Tears streamed down Levi’s cheeks as he grabbed his sides, trying to contain himself.

“You’re not angry?” Erwin managed, still bemused.

“Of course not.” Levi gasped between what had turned into fits of sputtering soundless laughter. “This,” his voice cracked as another wave hit him, “is the funniest shit I’ve seen all month.”

Eventually managing to calm himself, Levi sank back into his chair and looked up at Erwin who was still standing next to him, hands still gripping his shoulders. “Delivery is a great idea. Get me plenty of falafel and I’ll consider it even.” Erwin smiled and walked into their kitchen, pulling his phone from his pocket and dialing.

The order placed, he rejoined Levi at the table. Levi had already finished his glass of wine, and Erwin reached for the bottle to pour him a second when an even better idea hit him.

“They said the food would take 45 minutes to be delivered. I think that’s just enough time for a shower. Care to join me?”

Levi cocked his head to the side. “I just took a shower, Erwin. You can’t possibly be so old that you forgot already.” Erwin nodded in agreement.

“Yes. But, I know you’ve had a very long day. And there’s more than one thing you can do in the shower. Maybe there’s something in particular you’d like to do?”

Levi’s brows knit as his mind worked. “Oh?” He asked. Erwin grinned when he saw the exact moment that realization dawned on Levi’s face. The moment his breath grew deeper. The moment his eyes darkened. “Oh.” He whispered. “Yeah. I can think of a few things I’d like to do.”


	11. Cloak (Dagger)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written after the spoilers for snk chapter 102 came out, based on the headcanon (thanks, [Lost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anteros/pseuds/LostCauses)!) that Levi's cloak is really Erwin's.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

It had no longer been his fight since the rooftop.

Not since he’d made the choice to lay his Commander to rest. To keep him from living on as nothing but a shell of a man. A monster, a demon driven by something he no longer fully believed- by duty. By self-loathing. By grief.

Those things weren’t enough to drive a man. Not to a good death. Levi knew that, and, out of mercy, let Erwin pass on.

In turn, he let go of this bigger cause: humanity.

He let go in favor of something smaller. More personal.

When the time came to say his final goodbyes Levi had nothing to say to his dead Commander. It wasn’t for lack of sentiment, or feeling, or words. It was the opposite. There were too many. So many they lodged in his heart, sealing his throat, choking him. So he said not a single one. Instead, he did as he had always done. He laid his cloak over Erwin’s body, sending him off with the warmth from his own back.

In exchange, Erwin’s cloak became his.

His shadow.

He wore it as a badge. As a reminder. As a promise.

At night he folded it carefully, respectfully, and laid it on the table beside his bed.

If, often, he was unable to sleep and stared at it until he nodded off into fitful nightmares, no one knew.

If his fingers drifted in the dark, finding its well-worn folds for comfort, no one knew.

If all was cold and silent and the cloak was the only part of Erwin he could still picture clearly, even after dreaming of his dying breath over and over, no one knew.

This fight was no longer his.

He had made a trade.

Humanity for a promise. Humanity for a selfish desire. Humanity for revenge. The cloak reminded him. Always present at his back- his shadow.

It would not be a good death. He was Humanity’s Strongest in name alone.

But it would not be a promise left unfulfilled.

His cloak ensured it. His shadow.

 

His wings.

 


	12. Wake Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [Ashy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshtrayHeart/pseuds/AshtrayHeart) for their birthday. They like spooning and sleepy stuff, so that's what this is. It's smut.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

With a cut off snort Erwin’s noises finally woke Levi.

He never slept particularly well after takeout pizza, but Levi didn't have the heart to deny him such a simple pleasure. The green numbers of the digital clock display cast a faint glow across sheets and Levi's outstretched arm. 5:12 am- too early for the weekend. Too early for this waking up bullshit.

Closing his eyes again, Levi chased the remnants of sleep. Snippets of tired muddled thoughts, the heaviness of his limbs. He shifted his hips, pressing back to feel Erwin’s solid form behind him. As if on cue Erwin shifted, an arm flopping over Levi's waist, capturing him. Erwin grumbled. Levi relaxed. The vestiges of his dreams were becoming clearer. The haze of sleep enveloping him again. His eyelids were heavy and Erwin's warmth did more than the blankets and pillows ever could to soothe him.

Levi floated in the quiet space between waking and sleep. The weight of Erwin's arm grew more abstract as he felt his consciousness dimming. He was just a body- warm, comfortable. He was sinking into it, becoming a part of the bed. Just vapor in mist. No longer able to tell where he ended and the blankets, or Erwin, began- just one shared mass of whispered breath and faint heartbeat.

The arm around him tightened, tugging him close to Erwin's chest and thighs. Tugging him back from the brink of sleep. Levi groaned a protest- then stiffened. Erwin was poking him in the back. Erwin's morning wood was poking him. Levi snorted, amused. Erwin might be fast asleep, dead to the world, but his unstoppable cock wasn't.

Now it was impossible to go back to sleep. Especially with that thing poking him every time Erwin pulled him a little closer or shifted behind him. And Levi found that he didn’t want to go back to sleep any longer. He’d broken from the fog, edges re-shaping themselves. Erwin’s arms felt good, draped over his chest and shoulders, his waist. Erwin’s form cradled him, their position making Levi feel much smaller than he really was. Or maybe he was. Next to Erwin, at least. Erwin’s thighs brushed against his legs, and Levi wished he wasn’t wearing the baggy sweatpants so he could feel their warmth, the brush of hair and skin. With a grunt Erwin puffed a warm breath into his hair, disturbing already-disheveled strands.

Levi’s hand rested on Erwin’s arm. Then it moved. Down. Until it slipped beneath the elastic of his sweatpants. Until it wrapped around his cock, hard now, with a mind of its own. A mind that was quickly becoming Levi’s too as he stroked himself slowly, relaxing into the warmth of Erwin’s embrace.

Levi touched himself slowly. There was no rush. Only warmth and a growing tightness. Only the friction he found in his hand, the brush of his fingers as he circled the ridge of his head, wiping the hint of wetness back onto himself. His sweatpants were becoming stifling, and Levi finally pulled them down, freeing himself from their too-hot confines.

It wasn’t the same as Erwin touching him. No, Levi could go at whatever pace he liked. Right now, he wanted to savor it. Hand travelling up and down, squeezing when it neared the top of his shaft, making his head fall back on the pillow and his hips shift open. Making his pulse steady. Making Erwin’s presence, the pressing of the larger man’s cock into his back, something he could not ignore. That persistent erection. Teasing him.

Levi huffed. He let go of his cock with a sigh. It was too bad Erwin was asleep, especially now that the climate had shifted, the steady build gathering momentum. He wanted it so badly. He reached over to the bedside table, stretching his arm as far as he could without moving. Grasping hold of the lube (always within reach), he slicked his fingers with it. Levi sighed. He’d have to move away from Erwin a little to manage this. Adjusting himself on the bed, he reached behind and slid his hand down his sweatpants. Between the cheeks of his ass. As his fingers pressed against his asshole, his other hand curled back around his cock, tugging it steadily. The tightness in his belly demanded attention. It demanded more.

Levi worked himself open on his fingers. Paying less attention to stretching himself and more to chasing his pleasure, to finding and stroking that sweet spot within. Once he had it became impossible to hold back any longer. In the face of the steady build of pressure in his groin and chest, the atmosphere of heat and need calling. He panted, the hand on his cock squeezing harder, adding friction. He ground his body against Erwin’s, feeling the hardness press into his back and imagining it inside his ass. His fingers moved in a small rhythm, stroking and pressing inside.

Erwin’s body was still so near, the heat coming off it amplified by the warmth growing in Levi. He felt desperate, sweaty. The sense of anticipation before rain. He felt close. His hips ground against Erwin, and he slipped a third finger in, moaning when they brushed over his prostate and tightening the grip on his leaking cock. Erwin’s name escaped his mouth, somewhere between a whisper and a groan. He was sinking into his pleasure, the slow roll of hips, the measured movement of hand and fingers. Reality becoming further away. Only this mattered. Only Erwin, unconsciously stoking his desire.

Levi’s head snapped back when he heard it. The deep whisper aimed directly into his ear shot through the clouds of passion that had formed in his mind.

“You started without me.”

Levi shivered at Erwin’s voice, thick and rough with sleep and arousal.

“You could have put it in, you know. I wouldn’t mind waking up that way.”

“Shit.” Levi gasped. It’s not that he hadn't wanted to. He hadn’t really thought about it. “Is that an open invitation?” He asked, stretching his neck to get a glimpse behind him.

Erwin smiled, eyes still barely-open and lids weighted with sleep. “Of course.” Erwin murmured, adding, “Go ahead,” as Levi felt lips plant a messy, open kiss to his temple.

Levi’s hands left his own body, reaching blindly behind until they felt the loose mesh of Erwin’s gym shorts. From there, the part of Erwin that had been poking him in the back was easy to locate. The part that had started this whole thing, Levi thought, as he slid his hand into the front of soft shorts. Erwin let out a pleased grunt when Levi’s hand finally curled around his length. A sharp intake of breath signaled the moment it came free of the shorts. Erwin wasn’t helping. But he wasn’t protesting, either.

The lube was located again, and Levi spread it hastily over Erwin with a shaking hand. All of this was taking so long. He felt so empty. So wound up. Already. Pulling his own sweatpants down a few inches, Levi pushed his body back until he could guide Erwin’s cock between his cheeks. Until it brushed, tantalizing, against his entrance. With a gasp he pressed back onto it, feeling the blunt pressure increase until it gave way. A shared sigh- Levi shifted his hips, Erwin pulled him close once again.

Relishing the growing feeling of fullness, Levi worked back onto Erwin until it became difficult. Stretched, sweating, his cock throbbing for attention, Levi collected himself. Erwin made no move other than to nose sleepily into his hair. And so, Levi made his own move. Adjusting his body, stretching muscles and rolling his shoulders until he found a comfortable position within Erwin’s embrace. Hips shifting, Levi picked up with Erwin’s cock where he’d left off with his fingers.

It felt different as he moved. Thicker, longer than his fingers, but harder to maneuver, harder to brush the places he sought. He braced an arm against the mattress for leverage, finally hitting his stride. The perfect angle sent a shiver of pleasure down his spine to curl his toes. Repeating, he pressed back onto Erwin.

The position was strange. He couldn’t move as well as he wanted, but it made up for it in other ways. Erwin’s arms draped around him, the flutter of air from his breath as it became quicker through Levi’s efforts. Their thighs brushing as hips met. So warm. So near. Levi had to work harder, but the growing volume of Erwin’s noises, and how close, how connected they felt, spurred him on.

It felt good. Then, as Levi adjusted to the motion, it felt better. So much better. The hazy passion he’d let go with Erwin’s interruption returned. It thickened, taking form and swallowing them both. Erwin’s fingers clutched at his chest. Levi felt the shudder in large thighs. The pressing, the friction, steady and sure inside. He deepened the thrusts of his hips, earning a throaty groan from his partner. Erwin’s cock rubbed into him, setting his nerves humming.

“Levi,” Erwin managed, again breathing the words right into his ear, “You feel too good. I can’t last much longer.” Levi held back a sigh of relief, he’d been chasing only his own pleasure, relishing the feelings of his own body. Knowing Erwin was teetering on that same plateau sent Levi’s hand eagerly to his cock.

He stroked himself, letting his hips move as they wished. Deep, deliberate. He couldn’t move quickly. The tension built like a storm cloud between them. Hanging, impending, so heavy and so near. With a particularly deep thrust, Levi felt the lightening break as Erwin came inside him. Hot, body shaking, arms squeezing him close. Levi moved through it, anticipating his own release. He squeezed his cock, tugging at it as he pressed his hips as far back as he could.

Like thunder, Levi’s orgasm rolled through him. Shaking his body, his toes curled, fingers clamping on his own cock as he came. Erwin groaned, moving as though to make them both occupy the same space.

They let out a collected breath, still caught up in slowly-receding pleasure. Levi relaxed back into Erwin, resting his head on a large shoulder. Erwin’s ragged, deep breaths evened and became calm once again. He made no move to get up or pull away. Neither did Erwin, softening inside him.

Satisfied, warm, Levi let himself doze.

Later he would have to get up. He would need a shower. The bedsheets would need changing.

But now, it was still early.

The bed was still warm.

Erwin was still close.

And there was nowhere else he’d rather be.


	13. Small Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonverse short piece. Somewhat abstract.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Small hands, but large enough.

Large enough to hold a knife, a sword, to sever even the finest strand of life. Tools for destruction, instruments of pain and need. Calloused and firm, worked down to their very essence by the demands of life, of war.

Small hands, but strong enough.

Strong enough to carry out the will of their wielder- to punish or praise. Lives held within them, man and beast at their mercy. Powerful and subtle, forged by endless contact: the reassuring touch to a shoulder or arm, the failing grip of a fading comrade.

Small hands, but skilled enough.

Skilled enough to guide a quill, ink trailing thin ribbons in its wake. Forms, lists, charts, and letters. The impersonal, the official, the secret, all treated with equal care and attention.

Small hands. So small they could disappear; enveloped by large hands. So small their form needed to be traced endlessly. To prevent them from vanishing entirely. Re-mapped with lips and tongue, boundaries found, creases followed. Knuckles marked, each with a single kiss, forming a chain of devotions. Palms caressed, knots kneaded slowly from tense and tired muscles. Fingers spread, the space between them known with the same ardor as their substance: joints and creases.

Tipped with ink.

Blue splotches of night sky, stained with the heavens.  

Washed away carefully, wiped from under nails and rubbed from fingerprints.

Tipped with blood.

Invisible, lingering, soaked into skin itself.

Accepted gently, no hesitation between touches, no pause between the graze of lips.

Tipped with hope.


	14. The Basement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonverse- fill for the prompt: Erwin makes it to the basement (somehow), how does he react to what he sees? Written at Katsu Con 2018 with a bunch of other Eruri fans who also wrote their interesting interpretations on this prompt. All of the works can be found [here](http://ackbang.tumblr.com/post/171096529517/the-basement) (I highly recommend them!).
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

A creak, strain bending the beams, bending the gaze of hungry eyes, trained on a single door. The final obstacle. The prize, the goal, and the end. The end.

With one last gasp of resistance timbers groan and give. Snapping, sharp, splinters flying under his boot. Yielding, finally under the pressure.

A crack, and a collective breath, held for years, exhaled. All at once they are in the basement. The truth within their grasp. And, after a flurry of confusion, the ache of each moment ticked away uselessly away in ignorance, it’s located.

Levi finds it, he always does. A drawer, hidden cleverly, not clever enough to escape sharp grey eyes.

Laid on the table are the meager objects. So many years, contained here. A picture. Three volumes. Never were such ordinary, such unassuming objects so coveted.

Hanji has laid them out, but holds back.

“Commander?” They look to Erwin. All eyes trained, even so close to the finish. Erwin nods to Eren, hold out a hand indicating the desk.

“Your key brought us here, Erwin. It’s only right that you show us what is inside. It is, after all, your inheritance.”

Eren nods, swallowing. Now is not the time for hesitation. Not the time to think, but the time to do. And Eren does–reading the inscription on the photo in a voice that falls like stones dropped on the placid surface of a lake at morning.

A ripple. Growing, spreading. As the volumes open. As words pour forth. Hanji’s eyes shine and widen–bright with the fevers of discovery. And Erwin waits. As the pages turn. Levi shifts, his attention trained on the room, reading it as thoroughly as Eren reads his father’s legacy. And Erwin waits. As a cover closes, the tale finishes. And Erwin’s wait is over.

It is done. He was right. A truth, long sought, always suspected–they are not alone. And more, so much more.

It was supposed to an end. Erwin blinks, for once at a loss for words. What can one say, after all, when the weight of hundreds of lives crash down, at once, on their shoulders. Men, women, who brought them there. Their legacy. Their blood. Their lives.

Their lives.

The silence stretches. It grows heavy, solidifies, a weight on them all. Felt by more than Erwin.

The silence is broken. Erwin turns from them. He walks to the door, and exits the room. The door swings behind him, caught before it slams shut, pale fingers wrapped around its edge.

Erwin stands, rooted. Halfway up the stairs. Unable to continue. Levi passes next to him, to stand in front. One stair above. Eye to eye.

There are no words. There is no need. They have communicated, for years already, through looks and the silent language of their bodies. And in this way they speak. Erwin’s mouth opens. And closes. His throat is dry, tight.

Their lives. So many. For…?

“Was it worth it, Levi?” Erwin asks, his voice the creak of a rusty hinge.

“I–don’t know.” Levi answers.

“I thought it would be the end.”

Levi’s eyes say his answer. The answer Erwin already knows.

It is the end. And it is not.

There is no end.


	15. Second Chance (Second Guess)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in a mood. This is essentially why I don't write reincarnation fics. I just don't think any good can come of it.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

They weren’t those people anymore.

At first it didn’t matter. The validation of finding someone, anyone, who understood was enough. Having an ear to listen to unbelievable horrors lessened their hold, loosened their grasp. But eventually, every moment had already been revisited. Then replayed, rewound, and rehashed. Until every moment was used up.

And what was left?

Had there been anything to begin with? Anything more than the memories that felt less and less real with each passing day? Anything more than a shared pain, a history of violence?

There was infatuation, initial passion. Physical magnetism that was undeniable and there was nothing to hold them back this time.

But then there were moments- falling out of step. An entire second life un-shared, and it wasn’t as easy to understand. Not after Levi had already said goodbye once. Buried his feelings with Erwin’s body. Not after he’d already given up. 

Paths cross, but they also fork.

And it was exhausting, waiting, dreading. Living in fear. The fear of walls. The same but different. Not obvious; insidious. Walls built by moments. Fleeting, needling times where one person moves on, unaffected, while the other stops still. Grows quiet. And thinks.

I love you just a little bit less.


	16. Slipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written based on a Tumblr ask from a friend about crotch nuzzling. Which, honestly, is 100% my jam.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

They had grown comfortable together.

It was obvious: Levi would seek him out, stopping by the office after a long day (no matter how long). It was clear: tea appeared, steaming and dark, at the edge of Erwin’s reach, when his brows were busiest pinching creases into his forehead. It was evident: how easily they gravitated to one another, during evenings spent on the couch, thighs edging unconsciously closer where they rested.

And there was always so much to read, forms to be filled. And a great deal of paperwork that needed checking or signing or sorting or filing. And it all really should have been done yesterday.

So there were many nights like this.

Where they found themselves inching closer. Where hours dragged and the wicks burned. Where light faded and Erwin hardly noticed. Until he felt a new weight. Not a mental one (that one had become a part of him), but a physical one.

The warm heaviness of Levi’s head. It had made its way into Erwin’s lap, the rest of his body curled on what remained of the couch. It was a comfortable fit, and Erwin stared absently at the fall of dark hair pooling on his thighs. And turned back to his papers. A smile threatened the edges of Erwin’s lips as he read, encouraged by thoughts lingering on the gentleness of Levi’s slumber despite his waking demeanor.

They relaxed; frequencies vibrating into harmonics.

Levi shifted, a quiet sleeper, but a restless one (unsurprising given his upbringing). Nose pressing into the inside of Erwin’s thigh as his head gave a nod and a grunt came from his chest. Stealing Erwin’s attention from work. The sudden motions spreading the burden of his weight and the heat of his sleepy breath around Erwin’s legs and hips. Spreading a tingle of excitement shivering through his thighs.

Struggling to continue reading his documents, the room grew warm, then stifling. It became hard to concentrate on work, reading the same line five times in as many minutes. Distracted by Levi’s tucked up legs, light uniform pants crisscrossed with leather (had they always been so form-fitting?). Distracted by the weak sleep-grip of a hand resting on his thigh (was it possible for a frictionless touch to spark fire?). Distracted by a sharp nose burying itself in his groin amid gentle huffs of air (a punishment or a gift?).

While Levi dozed, Erwin fought a different kind of wakefulness. Hoping his obvious excitement, the shifting terrain between his legs, wouldn’t disturb his companion. Or maybe that it would.

They had grown comfortable together.


	17. 200

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written to celebrate having 200 followers on Tumblr. Also, written because I got a really adorable prompt from a friend, and because you know Erwin would knit is some really cozy modern AU.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

“Levi!” Erwin’s voice carried easily from their bedroom. Levi sighed and tried not to roll his eyes. Then he did anyway, because he knew what this was most likely about and Erwin wasn’t going to see it. He rolled them hard.

“Whaaaat?” He yelled back, letting his tone go utterly flat as he dragged out the vowel appropriately to show his lack of interest. He turned back to the kettle, pouring hot water into his mug for a second cup of tea. He was going to need it. Especially if Erwin was talking about his stupid blog agai-

“Guess what happened to my blog today?!” Erwin answered and Levi groaned internally. “You’re got to come see it!” Levi shuffled out of the kitchen. It was too early for this stupid shit. Too early for Erwin to be fiddling around with the internet. It was time for breakfast. Not whatever it was his ridiculous husband wanted to show him on that boring-ass blog.

As Levi made his way, achingly slowly, down the hall he commiserated with himself. A blog. His husband was obsessed with- a  _blog_. It was like he was some dumb high schooler seeking out attention  _from strangers on the internet_. Sad.

Levi stopped in the doorway to their bedroom, fixing Erwin with an unamused stare. “What do you want to show me?” He deadpanned.

Erwin motioned excitedly, waving him over. “Look, you won’t believe it!”

Levi walked slowly over to the desk, wishing his tea would just fucking brew faster, and stared over his husband’s big shoulder at the laptop screen. It just looked like a bunch of pictures arranged vertically and some boring shit written on the right side. What was so special about this?

“What am I supposed to be looking at” Levi asked, squinting at photos of sweaters and mittens, all arranged artistically on aged wood or in reed baskets. Balls of yarn? A diagram of something called a purl stitch? Grids of dots, ‘x’s, and dashed lines? What did that even mean? Erwin probably knew, but Levi had no idea.

Erwin clicked something on the right of the screen and some numbers popped up.

“See, Levi, these are statistics for my blog.”

“Okay.” Levi answered blankly, still unsure what he was supposed to be appreciating.

“I have 200 followers!”

“What does that mean?”

Erwin turned around in his chair, staring open-mouthed at Levi. “It means 200 people subscribe to my blog and see the things I post.” As though that was obvious.

“Really?”

Erwin nodded.

“200 people actually give a shit about your knitting blog?”

Erwin nodded again.

“And they look at these photos? The socks and stuff you spend all that time making and taking photos of?”

Erwin nodded again, smiling. “They loved the ones I made you for Christmas, by the way.”

Levi narrowed his eyes. “How do you know they like them?”

Erwin smiled more broadly. “Well, they ‘like’ the posts, and sometimes they share them on their own blogs! See…” He clicked around the screen and began scrolling. Photos flashed by. Erwin’s knitting basket. A sweater he’d finished recently. New yarn. Levi recognized a half-finished scarf. He hadn’t realized Erwin had taken so many photos of his hobby until he saw them like this- marching neatly by as Erwin scrolled through.

Then he stopped. There they were, the socks Erwin had gifted him for Christmas. They were Levi’s favorite color. And they were warm as fuck. He was wearing them at that very moment, in fact. “See? There are the socks.” Levi nodded. “And see this little thing in the corner? If I click it…30 people ‘liked’ the post and 7 people shared it!”

Levi stared.

“Huh.” 30 people? Internet strangers liked his socks? Weirdos. Levi held back the shiver of ‘ick’ that was threatening to overtake him and just gave Erwin an encouraging nod. “That’s nice, babe. I’m making coffee too, so don’t let it get cold while you blog or whatever.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there soon, I just want to write a little thank-you to my followers. I can’t believe I have 200!”

Levi headed back to the kitchen. 200 people, huh? That did seem like a lot. Erwin was clearly enjoying himself. It couldn’t be all that bad. Besides, he’d been much more enthusiastic about knitting recently, and Levi did have a soft spot for those warm socks. Not bad at all.

He pulled out his phone and opened the app he’d never told Erwin about. He didn’t use it much. He mostly used it to send encouraging anonymous messages anyway- maybe once a week or so.

Besides, he only followed one person.


	18. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written because I had a sudden desire to write something kinkier and rougher than I normally do. Explicit sexual content. Canonverse. Dom/Sub dynamics. 
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Some nights Levi was dangerous.

The bare edge of a blade. The acrid sharpness of burnt hair. The raw sting of leather shredding friction-hot skin.

Levi was all this, and more, those nights. He had no lust for battle, no taste for blood. But when the smoke cleared and his enemies lay at his feet it was impossible to hide the deadly glint in grey eyes. It was impossible to resist the high of waves of adrenaline, the rush of flight, the thrill of evading death.

And so he didn’t resist. Instead he hummed with it, nerves buzzing as they bathed in chemicals pumped out as his body screamed  _faster harder better_.

Those night they had an agreement. Erwin knew when Levi knocked on his door, entered, and then left immediately. When no words were spoken, the invitation was implied. And Erwin could decline, could resist.

But, like Levi, he didn’t.

Instead he waited a few moments, finished whatever it was he’d been working on, and tried to calm his own nerves. The anticipation was part of the thrill, and Erwin savored every moment. He walked to Levi’s room with purpose. The click of his boots on the parquet nowhere near as loud as his heartbeat. When he reached Levi’s quarters he stopped, drew in one final free breath, and knocked. Erwin always knocked.

‘Come in.’ Came the response. And Erwin obeyed. And Erwin surrendered.

Some nights Levi was dangerous.

The crooked finger beckoning Erwin to stand by the foot of the bed where he sat. The raise of chin and brow, only lowered when Erwin’s clothing was completely removed. The smoldering look giving no quarter, willing Erwin’s throat to contract as he swallowed. As he turned to face the wall. As he knelt, then bent over.

Erwin’s eyes didn’t close as he felt Levi press two slick fingers into him. They widened. His breath caught, snagged by the cool slick sensation, by the fingers working steadily. Always spreading further apart, always seeking deeper. There wasn’t a single moment to doubt or relax. There wasn’t a single moment the arousal inside Erwin wasn’t stoked. By the too-quick movements, the too-rough urgency.

And just as it began to test his limits, as his jaw grew tight, Levi’s fingers curled and stoked forward. Finding the firmness of his prostate, rubbing slow pleasure through him to mask the burn. Erwin’s cock twitched, the muscles in his shoulders bunched. And Levi rubbed. And stretched. And let his fingers drag out slowly before pushing them back in with force, winding Erwin up for what was to come.

It was never enough, and it was far too much. Torn between wanting more and wanting Levi to slow down, to let up, to give him time to adjust. Torn. Because he could barely stand the harsh rhythm of Levi’s finger. But wanting. Because he could imagine nothing but the feeling of Levi’s cock.

The pressure on his prostate was unrelenting. The slow build of pleasure stirred from faint ripples to crashing waves. Nerves jangling. Senses overwhelmed. Levi pulled his fingers out. Erwin gasped, twitching at the loss. But only for a moment. Only for the space of a blink and a whine before Levi pushed back in, burying himself to the hilt with one quick thrust. Erwin bit back a cry, tasting metallic salt from the soft, now-ragged skin inside his mouth. Two fingers weren’t enough to chase away the edge, and Levi’s powerful momentum only tipped Erwin further into the mixture of pleasure laced with hurt that settled deep inside.

Yet it was not unwelcome. It was something solid, and real. Levi’s cock felt hard, satisfying, as it filled him. All heat and urge. Making Erwin’s own cock ache in response. Making it bob in time with Levi’s motion. Making Erwin forget how his knees rubbed raw against the stone floor. How his back started to complain, unused to the position and the strain.

Levi needed this. Needed it to grasp onto the threads of life, to knot them tightly to his soul. To feel and burn and breathe in the life he’d won.

And Erwin needed this. Needed it to shed the weight of responsibility, the guilt of orders and commands and leading others to their ends. To accept and seek peace and release the lives they’d lost.

With each thrust the irresistible tension fanned further from its source. Further from the pounding of Levi’s hips against his ass. Further from the slap of skin and bruising grip on his waist. As Levi draped himself over Erwin’s back, their sweat mixing, bodies conforming to the shape of each other, the pleasure built to a peak. Erwin held back his cries, panting and clenching his jaw in turns to keep them in as his neglected cock wept a thin string of precum onto the stone below.

Erwin could never last long like this. Not after the probing of Levi’s fingers. The rough stimulation of his prostate and asshole. And not now, not as Levi’s teeth found the muscles of his back, biting sharp exclamations of wild possession into his skin. Not as Levi’s cock and mouth claimed him, marked him.

Erwin bit his lip hard as he came with a full body shudder. As Levi’s deep thrusts made him twitch and spill, clenching as he painted the dark stone with streaks of white. He tasted blood, and licked his lips. He held his breath. He sank deeper, letting his orgasm rip through him and anticipating Levi’s.

As if on cue, Levi thrust deep and bit his pleasure into Erwin’s back. Filling him with hot. Fingers clamping on his waist. Hips shaking, pressed flush against his ass.

And just as quickly it was over. The demons banished, the fears extinguished. Levi pulled out carefully, licking hesitantly at the marks his teeth had made. Smoothing the calloused pad of fingers over Erwin’s tense abdomen, soothing and bringing them both back to each other. Using their closeness to comfort. To warm and cherish.

When Erwin’s breathing had returned to normal, when the tired wracking shakes had left him open and vulnerable, Levi was still there. To wet a cloth with water. To wash the sweat and filth. Carefully, hesitantly. To sooth, bring them back to each other, comfort, and cherish. Levi helped Erwin from the floor, and peeled away the sheets, guiding him into the bed.

And Levi did not leave. Not as he cleaned himself with a second cloth. Not as Erwin drifted in and out. Instead, he joined, slipping in behind Erwin. Wrapping his smaller body around him as best he could, easing Erwin into a dreamless slumber with his sure embrace.

Some nights Levi was dangerous.

But Erwin never feared danger.


	19. Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written after Yams gave that autograph session where he said that Levi went and recovered Erwin's bones from Shinganshina. Damn. Yams.  
> Canonverse, obviously.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

It was quiet.

That was the first thing Levi noticed. No clash of steel. No crackle of flames. No shouts. No cries.

Serene. But cold. Abandoned, not once, but twice. Once when the titans came, by screaming townspeople in a hasty rush for survival. Again, by troops, the few remaining survivors, forced to move on in their fight. With little time for grief. Little time for thought.

Now, Levi’s thoughts filled the space of the bare room. Dust had settled on surfaces. So much dust. So much time. So little time. The window was grimy.

Levi’s eyes settled on the dingy glass. Something in him gave. He strode over, seeing nothing but the straight lines of the frame. How dare it. He’d chosen this attic room- close to the sky- for Erwin’s spirit to fly. But that window had become a cage. How dare it. How could Erwin fly with such a clouded view. How dare it. The window creaked as it was pushed violently open, a crack ringing through the quiet as panes smacked the frame.

It was quiet.

Levi turned to the bed. He knew Erwin would not look the same- that was impossible. But what had he expected? Not this. He’d seen death before, felt its weight from a young age. But not this.

Erwin’s uniform had turned to wisps, threads clinging on bone. Lonely straps of leather, empty of the limbs they once supported. Boots. Bone. And dust.

His eyes travelled up. The image of Erwin’s face, human, at peace, held in his mind.

Gone. Turned to hollow sockets and teeth. Wreathed on the pillow by a halo of golden hair. His fingers moved on their own, disturbing the strands. Still soft. Still silken. They evaded his touch, scattering.

Levi opened the bag he’d brought and carefully began to fill it. With what remained. Bones. Some long. Some so small. Some cracked. But all the same. Only bones. Smooth, cold to the touch.

He should have worn gloves. He should have put space between them. He should not pick at those scabs, should not pull at the stitches threaded time and again. But he did not. And, in a way, it felt good. Just as the bones were smooth, perfect; he was rough, scarred.

They made a small pile in the end. Such a large man. Reduced to nothing more than what Levi could easily heft in his sack.

Levi looked once more to the bed. Boots. Fragments of cloak. Empty loops of cracked and dry leather.

And a halo of gold.

Levi left without a word. The window was open. As it would remain.

It was quiet.


	20. Cuddle Prompts March 2018

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written based on a Tumblr ask from a friend about crotch nuzzling. Which, honestly, is 100% my jam.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

 

* * *

Prompt 1: For warmth, Out of necessity (trapped in a small space, etc.), and With snow outside

* * *

And the air was a whip, lashing and unforgiving.

Levi’s back curved in, until his chin met his knees, until the violent tremor of his jaw vibrated through his toes. Curled tight. Giving no quarter to the wind. Giving no quarter to his thoughts. Every fiber, every atom focused on shutting out the cold.

The stone walls whistled, their crumbling mortar little more than a taunt, a suggestion as to their intended purpose.

And the snow fell. Collecting in every corner, coating the ground with silence. With finality.

Winter never reached the Underground. Levi had never become accustomed to the change of seasons. It shocked and intrigued him, spring blooming from the filth, summer scorching speckled patterns into his nose and shoulders, autumn dazzling in its rainbowed plumage. And winter. Always winter, destroying everything that had come before, smothering the color, the light, the life from the world with its heavy shroud.

The soft knock on his door went unnoticed, too quiet to be heard over the chatter of teeth and through the thin blanket wrapped around his tightly-wound body. With a creak just as quiet, the door opened, then closed as someone stepped inside. They moved over to the small bed. Unfolding their gift, a second blanket, they laid it over the shaking bundle huddled as close to the inner wall.

And the storm continued, but its claws were blunted more with every scrape over the building’s stones.

Levi stirred, the shock of dark hair and pale forehead all that was visible as he adjusted his blanket, wordlessly letting Erwin pull the end from beneath him and fold long legs onto the narrow mattress.

“What are you doing here? It’s late.” Levi muttered into the blanket, sharp words blunted by the way his body unfurled, accommodating Erwin’s arms and legs as they wrapped him into an embrace.

“You’re cold.” Came a simple answer, a slight squeeze, a warm nose pressed behind his ear to huff gently. Countering the draft, shielding with wide shoulders. The familiar heaviness of muscles weighing down his own, the calming beat marked by warm air exhaled into his hair, slowly thawed frozen fingers. Levi’s toes uncurled, his legs molding to fit into Erwin’s hips and thighs as they eased away from his chin.

And the storm slipped far away, into a world separate from this one.

Separate from this haven of warmth.

Two bodies curled together: quotation marks for words that needed no voice.

 

* * *

Prompt 2: In the dark, and Falling asleep

* * *

Levi flicked on the light and immediately flicked it off again. He hadn’t expected to be home so late. Erwin was already asleep. On the couch. He let his eyes adjust. It was dark, but not so dark, never truly dark with the streetlights and dull amber clouds shining a secondhand glow through the window.

Slipping off his boots, so quiet, Levi brushed a hand through his hair. He needed to eat. He needed to rest. But it could wait. Padding over to the couch, Levi stared at the sprawling form of his slumbering partner. He huffed affectionately. A faint buzz came from the television. Still on. Screen dark. No one was watching. Levi fumbled around for the remote and silenced the white noise with clicking finality. The silence settled. Or what passed for silence between the hush of circulating air and the distant hum of roads.

Levi climbed onto the couch, settling his body next to Erwin’s. It was a tight fit, the cushions barely large enough to hold their limbs. So Levi made room, borrowing under Erwin’s blanket and gently pushing his arm, his knee, out of the way. Urging him further into the couch with the pressure of his back, pressed close to Erwin’s side.

Just as he was becoming comfortable, nestling into the small space he’d made, a groan signaled Erwin’s unrest.

“Mmmm- Levi?” Erwin’s voice was crackly, slow with sleep and barely more than a whisper above Levi’s head.

“Go back to sleep.”

An arm snaked around Levi’s middle, pulling him further onto the couch as Erwin rolled and shifted to fit Levi’s back neatly against his chest.

“Yes.” The agreement was breathed into Levi’s hair, a drawn out flutter. Levi closed his eyes, the blanket and body heat relaxing his muscles into Erwin. His hand found Erwin’s loose grip, slipping easily under large fingers. As he sank deeper the urge to shower, to eat, to get properly in bed faded. Here, it was warm. It was quiet. It was dark.

He was home.

 

* * *

Prompt 3: "Forced cuddles, they're trapped, you can do it. I'm so ready."

* * *

Levi had barely a second of warning before Erwin grabbed him around the waist, lifted painfully against his ribs, and squeezed them both hastily into the broom closet five feet away, pulling the door shut behind them. His hands immediately tried to claw Erwin’s arms away, but the larger man had too tight of a hold and his fingers strained uselessly at the uniform jacket’s fabric instead.

“What the fu-” Levi’s outrage was silenced quickly by a large hand, drawn back a second later when he cheekily licked a wide stripe across the palm.

“Shhhh.” Erwin hissed. “Hanji’s coming.”

Levi rolled his eyes so hard he thought he’d strain something. But he stopped struggling. If Erwin was this desperate to avoid Hanji, he certainly didn’t want to face them either.

He shifted, seeking better footing in the dim, cramped space. The handle of a broom poked him in the back. He frowned, crowding closer to Erwin. He needed more space.

“Really, Levi? Are you coming on to me in here?” Erwin whispered, the amused lilt to his voice obvious.

Levi wiggled his front against Erwin, arms snaking around to grasp handfuls of shirt while rubbing purposefully against muscular thighs and leather belts. If motivation was what it took, he’d provide it.

“Yeah, sure. Just stop taking up so much room, a broom’s trying to get up my ass.”

A cut off snort came from Erwin as Levi felt him shift and pull them both back, thick arms wrapping around his waist and shoulders. For a moment they both moved against each other, adjusting, not even bothering to hide the growing warmth brought on by the tight confines. Just as Levi felt heat rising in his belly and Erwin’s hands begin to wander they both stiffened at the sound of footsteps on the flagstones.

Click. Click. Click. The sound of boot heels on stone echoed in the hall, growing louder. They did not move. Click. Click. Click. The steps grew closer. They did not breathe. Click. Click. Click. The steps were right outside. Hanji. Levi saw a shadow briefly eclipse the light shining below the door and willed his heart to stop beating so loud- he was certain Hanji would hear it. Click. Click. Click. The steps grew fainter, less sharp and urgent as Hanji passed by.

Only when the sound had faded completely did Levi let out a shaky breath. A second later Erwin did as well, the two men deflating against each other with a shared sigh of relief. Levi shifted against Erwin, he was still uncomfortable. It wasn’t the broom anymore, now something was poking him in the abdomen, somethi-

“Fuck, are you hard?” Levi demanded, pulling back as far as he could to glower up at Erwin.

In the dark Levi couldn’t make out Erwin’s expression. But he guessed it wasn’t one of embarrassment by the way Erwin pulled him back, closing the space between them. He got an answer when Erwin’s head lowered to murmur a rumbling ‘yes’ in his ear that tingled down his spine to settle with a twitch in his cock.

Levi held back a grin, rubbing himself against Erwin with new fervor as their lips met clumsily in the dark.

The closet was very small. But it was probably big enough.

     

* * *

Prompt 4: First cuddle

* * *

He would never admit, but Levi had spent most of the day cleaning and re-cleaning his apartment in preparation for Erwin’s arrival. Now that he was here, relaxing comfortably on the couch, Levi thought his nerves would fade. But, somehow, the initial butterflies refused to migrate out of his stomach as he busied himself in the tiny kitchen, laying out snacks and pouring wine. It was ridiculous, he felt like a nervous teenager- Erwin was actually here, in Levi’s personal space. He hoped it was clean enough. He hoped it wasn’t _too clean_.

It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. It never had been with anyone before. But somehow, this time, it was. Levi arranged the things on a tray, pushing the freshly-made cookies around one final time to stall and collect himself. This was no big deal. Erwin was in his apartment at his invitation. He was going to be a gracious host. He was not going to think about Erwin’s ass and how good it looked in his crisp, office-casual dark jeans. He was not going to think about the teasing hint of golden chest hair he’d spotted peeking out of the opened top buttons of the white shirt Erwin was wearing. He was not going to think about how the sleeves of that same dress shirt were casually rolled up to where Erwin’s forearm muscles swelled, how the horizontal lines of them set the strength of lightly-tanned skin and groove of tendons into stark relief. He was not thinking.

He was thinking.

Levi sighed internally and resigned himself to a night likely to be occupied mostly by his struggle to fight an embarrassing boner. He carried the tray into the living room, placing it carefully on the coffee table in front of where Erwin lounged, and quickly turned to the television to locate the remotes, avoiding the friendly blue eyes watching him.

“This look good, Levi. Did you make these cookies?” Erwin asked from behind him as Levi picked up the remotes and turned on the TV, queueing up the movie they’d chosen.

“Yeah.” He muttered, suddenly wondering why he had. Maybe it had been a bad idea. It probably looked really desperate, or weird, like something your friend’s mom would do. He heard the sound of Erwin biting into one of the cookies and winced, keeping his back turned for a moment.

“These are delicious! I didn’t know you were such an accomplished baker, Levi. I should have brought something more personal than just wine.”

Levi joined Erwin on the couch, his ears warm from the complement as he brushed it off, “It was no big deal.” With the movie finally starting, he could relax a little. A little. Levi reached for his wine and did his best to not sit as far forward on the couch as possible, to not let the rigidness of his back telegraph his nerves.

The wine helped. And the movie was sufficiently bad, drawing chuckles and groans from Erwin with equal measure. Levi still felt hyper-aware, and had to stop himself from jumping when a denim-clad thigh brushed against his own. When a long arm was placed around his shoulders, edging them together. At first it was fine, but as every muscle in Levi screamed out, his body torn between unwanted arousal and paranoia, Levi started to feel the tenseness in his neck and shoulders. Erwin’s arm did not make a good pillow, and his self-inflicted rigidity was giving him an awful crick, not helped by the heaviness draped over him. He shifted uncomfortably.

“Hey, are you okay?” Erwin asked, looking over with concern showing in raised brows.

Levi colored- he’d been found out. “I’m fine. This movie is just stupid.” He snapped, too harsh.

“We can watch something else.”

Levi shook his head vigorously. That’s not what he’d meant. ‘You’re too goddamn perfect’ is what he’d meant. ‘You’re sitting on my couch, all relaxed, like you own the place, and it’s turning me on’ is what he’d meant. ‘You liked my stupid cookies and I don’t know how to deal with it’ is what he’d meant. But none of these things were thing she could say.

“No, it’s fine. I was in the mood for something light anyway.” Is what he did say. When Erwin turned back to the movie, Levi made up his mind. It was no use, he’d just have to give up. Erwin’s presence was burning into his consciousness, and he couldn’t keep fighting it. Plus his neck hurt like hell.

Levi shifted, moving closer to Erwin. Thank god for the wine. He inched forward and angled his body, laying his head where Erwin’s arm and chest met, letting the arm fold over him. Erwin moved in response, pulling him close as they found a more comfortable position, draped diagonally across the couch together. It felt surprisingly good, and Levi’s hand found a resting place on Erwin’s knee, absently tracing circles into the denim. Erwin was warm. If Levi closed his eyes he could almost imagine feeling the larger man’s heartbeat. Thank god for the wine. Levi finished his off and settled in.

Erwin sighed happily.

“I’m glad you finally moved.” He said. “This is much better. My arm was falling asleep.”

 

* * *

Prompt 5: On the couch, and With rain outside

* * *

Levi sat on the couch, staring out the window as the daylight failed. Rain was falling. Steady, heavy, streaking the glass and puddling in the parking lot and road below. Fat, insistent drops, eager to soak the world, wash away the dirt and salt of winter. A cleansing rain.

He took a sip of his tea, enjoying the warmth spreading in his mouth and throat. He heard the whine of the kettle in the kitchen and knew Erwin would be joining him soon with fresh coffee. For once they didn’t have any plans. Just to sit, just to talk, just to enjoy the evening as the streetlights flicked on and the rain tapped out a soothing beat on the glass and metal of the windows and balcony.

A large brown dog padded into the room and flopped down under the coffee table on the floor by Levi’s feet. She yawned, as ready to end the day as he was. Seeing her there, Levi nudged her back gently with a sock-covered toe. Rhea was sprawled out a bit too far away for petting, but he could stroke her back a little like this. She’d probably grown tired of pushing Erwin around the kitchen. Understandable. Anyone would.

The rain was a soothing, regular sound, and Levi stared out at the darkening skyline- shadowed silhouettes and the framed cloudy sky that would never become fully black. His tea was half finished, and he’d pulled a blanket over himself and the foot petting Rhea when Erwin came into the living room, coffee mug in hand, and slid onto the couch next to him.

“Save any blanket for me?” Erwin smiled, tugging the blanket’s edge from under Levi’s butt and worming his way under it without waiting for a response.

“What if I said no?” Levi asked, shaking his head in amusement as Erwin put his mug down.

“If you said no? That’s easy, I’d just make room.” Erwin replied, a hint of something mischievous in his voice was the only warning Levi got before large hands grasped his hips and tugged him into Erwin’s lap.

Too relaxed to protest, Levi just snorted and leaned back against Erwin’s chest, pressing his head into Erwin’s shoulder for balance as he adjusted the position of his legs until he’d found a comfortable one while the blanket was tugged into place over them both. “I can’t reach Rhea to pet her anymore.” Levi mock-complained, giving Erwin a playfully judging look, one he’d long ago perfected with lowered eyebrows and wickedly curled lips.

Erwin hummed in answer. “True, but I don’t mind if you pet me instead.” He added, his large nose pressing to Levi’s forehead, mussing his bangs, as he placed a soft kiss directly between Levi’s lowered brows. Levi snorted, and pulled away for a moment, placing his now-forgotten tea on the coffee table to join Erwin’s cooling coffee. He turned back and wound his arms around the larger man, burying his face in the bend where Erwin’s shoulder met his neck.

Soon they were entangled, under the blanket, rain pattering steadily outside, fingers wandering under layers of fabric until they found warm skin, lips exploring each other’s necks and faces slowly. They fell into step, one travelling up and the other down until their mouths met in the middle in languid, unhurried kisses made of relaxed, opened lips and the tannin-bitter earthiness of tea and coffee.

Engrossed in each other, in the closeness, in the gentle, growing thrill of discovery as their fingers covered more and grew more adventurous, they kissed long and slow. Their breaths a part of each other, of their measured movements, testing and savoring the softness of lips, the wet slip created by the barest hint of tongues. Rhea whined on the floor, and went unnoticed.

Hands grew hungrier, and breaths less measured. The heat from the blanket and all their layers of clothing built, changing from comfortable to restricting. The rain beat down, urgent in its haste to match their desire. Rhea trembled on the floor, and a flash lit the dim room briefly. On its heels came a deafening, rumbling roll, a yelp, and the large, heavy form of Rhea jumping onto the couch. She nosed frantically at Levi, pushing him out of the way as she crowded onto Erwin’s lap.

Levi groaned, giving up his spot for the dog. She was a rigid mess, whining, begging to be comforted as a second flash of light and clap of thunder rang out. “You know you’re not allowed on the couch.” Levi grumbled, unable to keep himself from stroking the short silky fur of Rhea’s side. Erwin chuckled and ruffled the dog’s ears. “Just this once?” He asked, pleading for the dog’s sake. Levi sighed.

“You said that last time too.” He pointed out. Rhea’s fur was soft, it was hard to be mad at her. And Erwin looked so relaxed, happy on the couch with his dog in his lap. It was hard to be mad at him too. Levi resigned himself to cold tea, sitting next to Erwin, letting Rhea’s heavy form slowly spread over them both.

Erwin looked at him, a gleam in blue eyes. “Are you jealous, Levi?”

“What?” Levi answered, his voice rising slightly as he tried to push off the ridiculous accusation. “Jealous of a dog? No. I’m not jealous.”

Erwin didn’t look away. He just sat, silent, staring meaningfully at Levi as he stroked Rhea’s wide head. With those fingers. With such care. Levi squirmed, feeling his ears burn as his imagination worked overtime.

“I’m not jealous,” he reiterated, the words sounding a lot less convincing before he added, “but my boner is.” 

  

* * *

Prompt 6: While someone's crying

* * *

It took Erwin at least half of recess to find Levi. He was toeing at the pea gravel under one of the slides, digging a hole deeper and deeper. Kicking out the little stones as they fell back in, making slow progress, staring at the ground. 

“Hey.” Erwin said. Levi ignored him, focused on the stones. The hole wasn’t going to dig itself. “Are you okay?” Erwin tried again, stepping under the slide’s shadow.

Levi turned to face him, nose screwed up angrily. “Just go away.”

Erwin balked. Why was his friend being like this? He thought he’d done something good- he’d chased those older boys away. The ones who were always calling Levi names. Because his clothes were too big, his shoes were too old, his mom cut his hair. Stupid stuff. He’d done something good, hadn’t he?

Erwin stood quietly, not sure what to say. He didn’t want to make Levi angry, but he didn’t want to go away either. That didn’t feel right.

Dust from the small stones coated the tip of Levi’s tennis shoe. But he didn’t seem to notice, even though he usually hated being dirty. He just kept kicking, pushing the pebbles around.

“Levi?” Erwin tried again, putting a hand on Levi’s shoulder. The smaller boy whirled, staring at him accusingly. His face was still scrunched into a sharp pout. His eyes looked a little red.

“I don’t need your help!” Levi shouted, pushing Erwin’s hand away. His shoulders shook, the neck of his loose t-shirt gapping. “I can handle it!” Erwin stared, mouth open, trying to understand. Levi sniffed once, then again, wiping the back of a hand over his nose. He blinked. He turned around, facing away from Erwin again.

Erwin saw his tense shoulders spasm, and heard another quiet sniff. One of Levi’s hands came up to his face. Erwin stepped closer and leaned around Levi, until he could look at him properly. His eyes were red, puffy, and blinking rapidly. When Levi tried to turn away again Erwin just followed, leaning around from the other direction. A whimper escaped Levi, who sniffed loudly to cover it a moment later.

“I’m sorry.” Erwin said, quietly, hoping Levi would listen to him. He stepped closer and put his arms around his friend, hugging him tightly. It didn’t stop the shaking. Or the sniffles. But they did get a little quieter, and a small hand clenched into his t-shirt.

“I’m sorry.” Erwin said again. He didn’t know what else to say. He still didn’t feel like he’d done anything wrong. But he must be wrong. Levi was sad. So he must be wrong.

They stood. Levi’s trembling eased slowly. They stood. A wet spot grew on Erwin’s shoulder. They stood. The sniffles increased and then came less frequently. Erwin tried again. “Levi, I’m sorry. I know you can handle them. I just…” He trailed off. It was hard to explain. “I don’t like seeing them be mean to you. You’re my best friend. It’s not right. I want to help.”

Levi looked up at him, face shining with messy tracks of half-wiped tears. He was done crying. He shook his head, frowning, and pushed Erwin away gently. He wiped at his face, using the corner of his sleeve to clean up. With a defiant toss of his head dark bangs swayed as he stuck out his chin and turned away. Erwin’s shoulders sagged.

He walked off, shoving his hands deep into his pockets, muttering, “Stupid. Erwin. Stupid.” Once he’d gone a little ways he stopped, throwing Erwin a look over his shoulder.

“Are you coming, or what?”

Erwin nodded, grinned, and jogged over.

 

* * *

Prompt 7: For comfort, and While someone's sick

* * *

Levi sulked on the couch in Erwin’s office. Yes, it had been his own fault. Yes, he had saved the life of one of his squad members. And yes, he would do it again in a heartbeat. But it left him here, stuck inside. Relegated to paperwork and Hanji’s strict orders to stay off his fractured foot for weeks. Six weeks. There was no way he was going to wait that long, he’d managed to argue Hanji down to two. But still. Two weeks. Two weeks without flying. Two weeks stuck on the ground, not even allowed to wear his boots, forced to ‘elevate his foot’ and ‘relax’. As though that was possible.

He sighed, rifling through the papers on his lap in a misguided attempt to convince himself that there weren’t as many as he’d thought. It was true, there were more than he’d thought. Looking over to Erwin, hunched dutifully over his desk, quill moving across paper with tight scratches and dipping into the ink at regular intervals, Levi shook his head. There was no point in complaining, and the Commander had enough on his plate without Levi’s nagging.

Staring at the letters, willing them into words, Levi urged himself to focus. The reports weren’t going to read themselves, and he need to be able to summarize them accurately. It was the least he could do for Erwin. No, in this state, it was really all he could do for Erwin. The thought twisted his gut uncomfortably and his jaw set into a tight line.

The afternoon passed slowly, but Levi’s attention did not waver again from the papers before him. Carefully he examined them, trying to fill in any unreported details that might be important, jotting down notes where it seemed appropriate, and compiling the most useful information. Wading through the different styles of report and often-illegible handwriting of his fellow officers more than occupied his attention as the light took on an amber hue and began to slide down the wall towards where he sat.

Levi pulled his legs out of the way as Erwin moved to take a seat on the couch. With a noise of comfortable affirmation Erwin guided Levi’s legs back over his thighs once he’d settled in place. He spread a small map over Levi’s shins, leaving it there while he double-checked it against a field report of the area. Almost automatically, Erwin’s free hand came down to rest on Levi’s ankle where it kneaded gently through the pants of his uniform. Glancing at Erwin over the sheaf of papers, Levi raised an eyebrow at the map laid over his legs but said nothing- Erwin was clearly engrossed in his work and it wasn’t an uncomfortable position.

The steady marching of text in front of Levi’s eyes as he slowly plowed through the reports stretched into a droning rhythm. He barely noticed the light fading, ignored it when Erwin got up to light the lamps. Perhaps he made a small noise of protest when Erwin came back to the couch, sitting closer this time. Perhaps he grumbled as his legs were hoisted across Erwin’s lap again, much more of them occupying the larger man’s space this time. But he did not look up, did not notice anything out of the ordinary until he felt large hands kneading his thighs, working their way slowly down, massaging the muscles.

Levi let the reports rest in his lap, and crossed his arms. Erwin was looking at him now, all blue eyes and a silent, knowing look written across handsome features. “What are you up to?” Levi asked, more to himself than his companion as Erwin’s thumbs drew deep circles in the muscle above his knees. “Nothing.” Came Erwin’s non-reply, the relaxed contentment obvious in his unwavering gaze.

With a sigh Levi transferred the papers from his lap to the floor, making sure they stayed in a neat pile. He let himself relax against the arm of the couch and breathed in deeply, finally deciding that his work was done for the night. “We should go eat.” He reminded Erwin.

“We should.” Fingers traced over his knees, thumbs pressing into the inside of his calves as large hands wrapped around them, squeezing in a gentle rhythm. “But not yet.” Erwin added.

The warmth of Erwin’s fingers, his lap, the balance of tenderness and force in his massaging hands, it all found Levi genuinely at ease, for the first time that day. It felt almost too good, like something he didn’t deserve after doing nothing but sitting and reading. “You don’t have to baby me like this, Erwin.” Levi muttered, wondering how he was still managing to be such a bother to his Commander.

Erwin’s hands paused and he looked at Levi more critically. Levi’s eyes dropped, preferring to avoid the intensity of Erwin’s attentions despite the intimacy of their position. Erwin’s hands resumed, slowly pulling tension from tight calves and resuming their downward journey. “Am I making you uncomfortable, Captain?” At the words Levi looked back up, noting the flicker of amusement playing around Erwin’s lips. He shook his head, the burning of his ears betraying him even as he tried to maintain a stony demeanor.

“Good.” Erwin answered, a sly smile growing as the hands stopped massaging, stroking back up Levi’s legs to rest on his thighs. “And I’m not babying you, Levi.” He moved closer, shifting Levi’s legs on his lap until his face was inches from Levi’s own, hovering so close above. The moment stretched and Levi forgot the ache in his foot, the frustration he’d felt all day, instead his focus narrowed to Erwin’s face and hands and body close to his own. When Erwin leaned in, Levi tilted his head back instinctually, their lips meeting in a brief brush. As their kiss deepened, Levi melted into the couch and his lover, wrapping his arms around Erwin’s neck.

“No,” Erwin murmured into Levi’s mouth, “This is for me.”

 

* * *

Prompt 8: In public 

* * *

Levi could tell exactly how many shots Erwin had taken by the amount of space left between them.

They’d pre-gamed Mike’s house party- two shots of oily tequila that smelled like gasoline and burned their way down Levi’s throat in a wide stripe. Shots that made his mostly-empty stomach gurgle, a not uncomfortable warmth finding its place deep in his belly. With plenty of space between them they headed to the party.

When they arrived, Hanji was already camped in the kitchen with a bottle of 151. Mixing up strange concoctions and sprinkling cinnamon over them, lighting the entire thing up as a whoosh of air and a puff of fire rose like a mushroom cloud off the deadly little glasses. They whooped and shoved the still-warm shots under Erwin and Levi’s noses, tipping them up to their mouths until they downed the drinks, half in an effort to avoid spilling, half for the sheer fun of it. Moblit took two, the fucking champ, and everyone cheered as Erwin edged closer.

No celebration is complete without a toast, and Nanaba made one brilliantly, skewering the stuffy anthropology professor like the wizened old stuffed pigeon he was. Clear, cold vodka disappeared from Erwin’s frosted glass to a satisfied smack of alcohol-wet lips and Levi knew he’d be able to find Erwin somewhere in the same room for the rest of the night.

Shot-skis, a game of pennies, and two trips to the bathroom later and Erwin’s orbit around him tightened to just a few feet. Conversation, laughter, and always furtive glances from the corner of his eye down at Levi, brushes of their fingers when he thought no one was watching.

As the night spread before them the booze flowed freely and Levi reverted to his usual party mode, haunting the corners, staying out of the way, hanging back. But now he hung back with the added bulk of Erwin, the charismatic charm of his larger, far more handsome companion. Erwin stuck closer to him than his own shadow.

It didn’t work like that. So, Levi yielded, compromising by parking himself on the corner of a couch and partaking with only half-interest in whatever game was going on. Or he tried to. Until Erwin inevitably sat down beside him and pulled him bodily into his lap. Levi batted at Erwin’s large hands, protesting as Mike teased them, ‘oohing’ like a middle schooler while Hanji cackled gleefully, asking when the wedding was. Sulking, red from the drinks, redder from his own embarrassment, Levi gave in to Erwin’s clingy side. Gave in to arms wrapped around his waist, the warm firmness of the thighs he found more comfortable than he’d imagined, Erwin’s head drooping lazily over his shoulder.

They played games like that, leaning on each other, hot and a little dizzy. They stayed for delivery pizza, Levi grumbling as Erwin ate over his shoulder, but wiping a smear of sauce from his chin with a paper towel. Talking, relaxing, and slowly growing closer to horizontal as people trickled out of the party and the couch became more empty.

In the wee hours of the morning they fell asleep on that same couch.

Too many drinks to count.

Not a millimeter of space left between them.

 

 


	21. Gifted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonverse, Levi learning to accept.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Generosity: rare as hen’s teeth in the Underground. The mark of an idiot or a swindler. It did not tempt Levi at first, his mind too jaded to accept what was offered, his heart too firmly set. But the offer of freedom, the lure of a new life and the wide blue of the sky above were a call he could not long resist. Given a place, a goal, and wings of his own. He would be the idiot to deny them.

Erwin was a giving man.

And Levi took, squirreling away kindness- a dragon jealously guarding its horde.

At first adjustment was not easy. Supplying a fist in answer to an unwanted question brought nothing but reprimand and punishment. His strength was little use to him among those marked as comrades, instead it was reserved for fighting a greater enemy. His prickly demeanor did him no favors and earned him few friends. Still, life was easier than it had ever been. Given a bed, clothed warmly, fed, and even granted a small income. In small ways, the desperate struggle of life softened.

Erwin was a giving man.

And Levi accepted, allowing the cares that had once occupied him fully to slip away.

As years passed the true extent of Erwin’s unselfishness became clearer with each day. With the patience of a saint Erwin worked doggedly forward. No grudges were held. Levi rose in the ranks, gathering proteges around him. Erwin sought his opinion, their conversations becoming familiar, confidential. Given responsibility, trust, the ear of a true companion. Erwin’s attentions polished the dull surface of Levi until he gleamed- brilliant as fool’s gold.

Erwin was a giving man.

And Levi wondered, how someone who gave so much could ask for so little in return.

Settled into his new life, though the rough edges never fully smoothed, Levi found something more than what Erwin gave. Every gift added up to far more than the sum of its parts. In Erwin’s arms, gathered close- chest to chest, he found the parts of himself that had been long-buried, long-lost. In their breathing- matched and labored, urged on by one another, he found comfort he’d denied himself. In the synchronous beating of hearts- speeding toward the peak of their pleasure, he found the beginnings of an emotion he had forgotten how to feel. An unknown chasm stretched before him, but with Erwin’s hand twined with his own he jumped headlong: into love.

Erwin was a giving man.

And Levi returned his gifts, tenfold.


	22. Shades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dawn imagery, changes in sleep, Levi's slow journey.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Dawn was a familiar sight for Levi. Still. Quiet. The gradual lightening of the sky as birds stirred.

He’d become a connoisseur over the years. Could tell the seasons by their hue alone. Winter was watery, late light, blueish and thin, briefly turning the snow to a field of diamond dust. Summer was early rays, painting the stones in the lightest yellows and pinks, inciting animals and insects to sing and hum as the air gained substance.

The world was strange and beautiful viewed from the small window in his chamber. Its changes never ceasing to draw some portion of his attention as he slid off the chair in the corner and readied himself for the day. Splashing water on his face, brushing his teeth and hair. Putting on his uniform, and leaving his room. Before anyone else. Always early.

It was easy to wake at such hours when the night was populated by demons.

The window in Erwin’s office was larger, and the couch more comfortable. He felt guilt, at first, realizing he’d spent too many hours there. Trying to help in whatever way he could, propping up his Commander with tea and pulling a stack of notices away from him to split the work. Erwin resisted, always taking on too much. Trying to shoulder every burden.

But when the big man fell asleep behind his desk, Levi turned down the lamp and brought more work over to the soft couch. Until he drifted off, crisp sheets of vellum in his lap, fingers stained with ink, to be woken by the rising sun. To be woken by the comforting rumble of Erwin’s snores. Or by the warmth of a blanket, placed over him at god knows what time by only one possible culprit, heating up as light licked at its edges.

He would steal out quickly, retreating to his room. To splash water on his face, to brush his teeth and hair. To smooth the creases from the uniform he hadn’t removed the night before and make his way to the mess hall. Not quite the first arrival, but on time nonetheless.

If he was a little disheveled it was worth the discomfort, for sleep less-troubled, demons quieted.

The sight of dawn was different in Erwin’s bedchamber. The sounds of nature muted by easy breaths. Every type of light taking on a thick amber quality as it fell on Erwin’s hair, the shine of messy bangs, the glimmer of almost-invisible eyelashes, the glow of curls patterning a board chest and disappearing below the blanket. The seasons were marked as different only by how much gold the covers hid. And Levi loved summer best of all, with the full glory of Erwin’s body lit by the rising rays.

In summer the sun came early, giving Levi had time to look. Time to trace patterns of blonde, the ridge of scars, the hills and valleys of muscle and bone. The season made sharing a bed too hot- they both sweat. And sun glistened on Erwin’s skin, highlighting his brow, the thick cords of his neck, or the junctions of his limbs- places Levi’s fingers lingered lightly, damp and silken. Morning dew.

He would wait, until Erwin stirred. Indulging, together, in whatever the morning brought. When they finished he entered Erwin’s small washroom, stealing glances at his lover. To wash his face, brush his teeth, maybe shower if the night had been hot or the morning hotter. To leave Erwin’s quarters; missing breakfast. Late, but who would reprimand him? Not Erwin, who was even later.

Rushed mornings were a small price to pay to extend the night, demons replaced by gold and light.


	23. Permafrost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A cold heart, but a heart nonetheless.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

It was not that Levi’s heart was dead, merely that it had been in frozen.

Its activity suspended, placed in hibernation. Feelings did not put food in his belly or a roof above his head. But actions did. Strength and speed became is blood; skill and experience his racing pulse.

It was not that Levi’s heart did not beat, but that its motion was imperceptibly slow.

A floe of ice, creeping on a scale measured in years. While battles raged all around it was ignored. Holding steady, encompassing those who strayed close enough for long enough. Cementing them firmly into the fibers of his being.

It was not that Levi’s heart expressed nothing, rather that its language was foreign.

Few understood, and only one man learned to speak it. Painstakingly the man translated its runes: simple tasks done without being asked, conversations filled by the silence of one who listened, decisive actions made out of stubborn devotion.

Erwin returned them, in every language he could, until they were finally understood.

Levi never knew his heart could thaw, let alone break.


	24. Chills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I give in and write an almost-sicficlet.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

A stuttering scrape- wood on stone, jolted Erwin from the familiar scratch of his quill across clean vellum. Something off, momentary confusion, Levi standing with a small tray in hand, and there- a chair bumped out of place.

If it had been Hanji he’d think nothing of it. Hanji bumped into all kinds of things, their nose stuck in a book as they barreled down the hallways of headquarters without a care for who or what might be in the way. When the season of Titan research was in full swing that hurricane was easier to avoid than confront. But it was not Hanji. Nor Mike. Nor anyone else.

It was Levi.

The tray was deposited on Erwin’s desk. A faint tremor in pale hands. Knuckles white. Whiter than when they gripped double blades. Levi poured the tea. A drop missed the cup, fleeing quickly down from the rim to pool on the tray. Erwin noticed. Levi did not. No hiss of breath, no irritated  _tch_ , not even the familiar pinch of a frown on his features.

Instead, Levi’s face was pale. His brow glistened with sweat.

“Thank you.” Erwin murmured, collecting the teacup from the tray and sipping. Somehow always just the right amount of sugar, the lightest hint of crème. His words earned only a grunt, and Erwin watched Levi’s back carefully as he made his way across the room. “Levi.”

The man paused, turned, listened.

“Get some rest. Those reports can wait.”

Levi nodded, exiting the office.

The reports appeared on his desk in three hours.

The next day Erwin found everything distracting. How Levi picked at his gruel. The dark smudges that had turned to hollows under grey eyes. The slow appearance of damp patches on the white uniform under the man’s arms, between his shoulder blades. How they were quickly hidden by his jacket. And the shiver- one Erwin saw only symptoms of: a quiver of dark bangs, fingers that vibrated even at rest.

No tea was delivered to Erwin that evening; a gnawing worry replaced it.

The third day was even worse, and that evening Erwin ventured into the basement to knock on Hanji’s lab door. When he came back to his office, a tin of herbal tea and a small white packet in hand, he found Levi slumped on the couch. His breath shallow, face flushed, shivering despite his jacket.

Stopped in his tracks, Erwin’s chest tightened as waves crashed and wrestled within.

Levi’s eyes opened.

Barely.

“Sorry-”

Before the slow word left his mouth, Erwin traded the medicine and tea in his arms for the solid weight of his Captain, lifting him off the couch and carrying him to his bedroom as the man protested weakly. Deposited on the sheets, he tugged Levi’s boots and jacket off, working at too many buckles, straps, and buttons until he was stripped to his pants. Erwin pressed him down onto the bed, pulling the sheets and covers up to his chin.

Levi opened his mouth, beginning again, “Sor-”

A finger silenced him, touched to warm, fever-swelled lips.

“Don’t be. Just Rest.”

Brewing the tea and stirring in the medicine Hanji had given him took only a few minutes. Erwin added honey, to chase the bitter powder’s aftertaste.

Levi drank slowly. But he drank it all.

As he drifted off to sleep, cheeks and neck flushed with heat, hair sticking damp against his temples, Erwin finally relaxed. He retreated to his office, bringing paperwork to the couch where he could keep half an eye on the sleeping form of his Captain.

As the evening turned to night the lamps burnt low and Erwin’s eyelids grew heavy. He put his work away, removing his boots, belts and jacket to stretch out on the couch under a blanket. Facing the bedroom, the door still open.

Before he fell asleep, a small smile crossed his lips as an ironic thought occurred.

Erwin had to admit, he’d been trying to get Levi into his bed for a very long time now.


	25. Dormant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by unrequited canonverse feels.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Erwin had asked himself many times; if they already paid the price of rumors, why not make them true?

He could reach out, could leave more than just a fleeting touch. He could make the brushing of fingers as Levi passed him a cup of tea or report something more solid, more definite. He could stop pretending the affectionate hand he laid on Levi’s shoulder at the end of a mission was merely a gesture of trust between battle brothers.

Why not find the reality behind things he’d only imagined- no, fantasized, about?

The way Levi flew, the countless times Erwin had watched him train, did nothing to sate his hunger. He could and had imaged every aspect of his Captain’s person in excruciating detail. And every distraction, every daydream, every shameful moment he spent using his imagination to chase his own desire only dug that aching pit deeper. So, he only watched.

If Erwin leapt in faith, if he offered that hand, he feared what he would become. He was already covetous of his dreams, already bore the weight of responsibility. He felt it with every wound Levi suffered, every hardship the man overcame in his name. Most of all, he felt it when he worried, that if he gave in, he might consume Levi himself. So, he only waited.

The longer Erwin held back, the harder it was to abandon his torture. Doubt plagued him, every action writ large and gone over until his head pounded, every moment a reminder of impotence and greed warring within. So, he only wondered.

If he could, he would forsake his duty in a moment, if he knew Levi would reciprocate.

Yet his principles restrained him, strapped to his body by belts made of leather.

His resolve was tested daily, though it did not break.

For without duty, what obligation would be left? Without principles, what had his life meant to this point? Without resolve, how could he hope to justify stalling for so long?

So, Erwin watched, and waited, and wondered.

And died a little more with each setting of the failing sun.


	26. Loyal Steed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been looking at art of Levi with his horse, and he really seems to get along well with it. I just really like that idea.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

It didn’t surprise Erwin for a moment that Levi took to flying like a hawk on the wing.

But it did surprise Erwin that he loved to ride horseback.

There was something incongruous about it, seeing a man of such small stature clamber onto the back of such a large beast. To see him perched there, somehow perfectly at home. On an animal Erwin had thought, for sure, he would find dirty or repulsive.

It wasn’t love at first sight- that much was true. Plenty of smashed toes and hours spent mucking out the stables had seen to that. But Levi never blamed a failing on his steed, never raised a hand in anger. He simply brushed its midnight coat, whispered words of encouragement into its long neck, suffered its nibbling on his bangs, and nicked occasional apples from the mess hall.  

Still a thief; still a Robin Hood.

He might not be at ease with humans, but the bond with his horse was undeniable. And in time, Erwin realized he had never seen a mount more steadfast, more dedicated to its rider. The dark charger obeyed every quiet command, pushing itself as often and as hard as its owner. Knowing its strength would not be misused. Trusting the judgement and guidance Levi offered. Its loyalty was inspiring, and spoke volumes about Levi’s care. A connection so deep it was buried easily under the buzz of training and the din of battle.

But Erwin missed nothing.

One evening Erwin saw to his own horse in the stables, picking earth from the dips in its hooves after a rare day of riding. His legs and back were sore, a welcome change after days spent at his desk.

On his way out, Erwin spotted the bob of dark hair above a stall door. Levi was here, seeing to his horse. He could hear the low tones of barely-audible speech, soothing and calm. The huff of breath from the animal in response.

“You take very good care of your steed, Levi.” Erwin stepped forward, around the partly-open stall door and into Levi’s line of sight.

Levi turned his head, showing hints of amusement around normally-tense thin brows.

“Of course I do, he was a gift.”

“A gift?” Erwin asked.

“Yes.” Levi answered. “And, as for treating him well, I’m only following the best of examples.”

Something warm and fond spread in Erwin’s chest. Something he’d fought for months but finally succumbed to, knowing it couldn’t be helped. Not when Levi said things like this, when Levi looked at him like that.

But he wanted to hear it.

“And whose example might that be?” A half-smile grew into a full one. He already knew the answer, but Erwin needed to hear it. With a lift of a sharp chin and a flip of dark hair, the man in front of him, a perfect reflection of the proud charger he rode, responded. Giving Erwin what he wanted most.

A single word.

“Yours.”


	27. Garden Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was based on an idea I got from someone else's drabble where Erwin and Levi go on a date and pretend not to know each other. This drabble is sort of a twist on that same theme.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Erwin pulled up into the parking lot of the garden center and backed carefully into a small spot. He turned off the car, grabbing his list, and headed into the outdoor nursery area of the familiar store. He’d been here countless times- it was the best place to pick up organic mulch and the fish-meal fertilizer he preferred. Besides that, their selection of plants was unrivalled, and the employees were always helpful and friendly.

Especially one man.

Walking down the aisle of throwaway thin plastic pots full of seedlings, Erwin slowed down as he got to the peppers and spotted the man he’d been looking for. His back was turned, straight dark hair cut in a crisp line across the back of his head, the close-shaven undercut leading down the column of a broad, pale neck. Erwin admired him for a moment- the quiet assurance in his movements, the strength of his shoulders and arms as he hefted a huge terra-cotta pot to re-arrange a display. The man straightened up and turned around, and Erwin looked away immediately as their eyes met.

The man approached, his step easy as he hailed Erwin with a casual, “Oi! What can I do for you?”

Erwin smiled and pointed at the peppers. “I’ve come to buy some plants. It’s about time to get started on the garden and I know my husband is looking for a nice variety this year.”

The man blinked, frowning for a moment as his tired grey eyes searched Erwin’s face. “What are you talking about, Erw-”

“Well, you see, I wanted to  _surprise_  him.” Erwin interrupted, biting his lip to keep his smile in check. “But I’m, uh, not sure what kind of peppers he likes? Same with tomatoes. I know he loves those, but they all look pretty much the same to me.”

The man nodded slowly, tight-knit brows relaxing somewhat. “Well, I don’t know what your  _husband_  likes, but  _I_  love these Asian shishito peppers.” He pointed at a small green plant. “The hatch chilis are excellent too. Good for stew and salsa.” He indicated another, taller green plant that looked almost exactly the same to Erwin.

“Do you have anything that isn’t hot?” Erwin asked, hoping the reluctance wasn’t too obvious in his voice.

“Well, if you’re going to be a big baby about it, you can always go with some sweet bell peppers.” The man almost sneered, rolling his eyes. “Everyone likes those. As for tomatoes…” He trailed off, walking over to the huge variety of plants further on. “Well, these varieties are good for cherry or grape tomatoes, and the chocolate stripe ones have been very popular this year so far. We’ve also got these new heirlooms, I’ve been hoping to plant the pink boar ones over here.” He pointed at the plants in turn, and Erwin nodded dutifully at each. “But then,” the man added, quirking one eyebrow up, “that’s just me, I can’t really speak for your husband.”

“Oh no, thank you very much, you’ve already been incredibly helpful,” Erwin assured the man. “I’ll go get a cart and pick these right up.”

The man nodded. “Okay. Can I help you with anything else?” He asked, to which Erwin shook his head. The man turned on his heel and walked back over to the display of pots, setting to work once again. Erwin found a cart and collected the plants he needed, placing them carefully side by side. As he pushed the cart past the attractive employee, the man turned his head and shot Erwin a secretive-looking smile. “Don’t forget the fertilizer,” he said.

* * *

 

When Levi pushed open the front door he found Erwin already sitting at the table, absently reading a magazine.

“Welcome home!” Erwin smiled, looking over the pages at his husband.

Levi toed off his shoes and padded into the kitchen, pouring a tall glass of water from the faucet before chugging half all at once and bringing the rest over to the table where he sat opposite Erwin. “Erwin, what the fuck was that all about earlier today?”

“What are you talking about?” Erwin’s faux-baffled look made Levi snort and shake his head as he leaned back in his chair, drinking his water.

“That shit at the garden supply. I’ve told you not to come there when I’m working. It’s distracting.”

Erwin sighed and put the magazine down. “I know, Levi, but I got off work early. So, I thought I’d come by and get started on the weekend chores. I know you don’t like it when I come when you’re working but I didn’t know what you wanted to plant so it seemed convenient. I thought…maybe if I pretended not to know you, you’d let me off easy?”

Sputtering into his water, Levi barked out a laugh. “That’s stupid. You’re ridiculous. Coming in and talking about your  _husband_  when I’m standing right in front of you. What am I supposed to do with you?” There was no venom in his words, Erwin’s earnest look melting any hint of bitterness from him. “But it was kind of sweet too…”

“I’m glad you’re not upset.” Any doubt had faded from Erwin’s eyes and they sparkled a little in the still-bright light of the early evening. “I planted those peppers and tomatoes too. And used fertilizer. We should go take a look.”

Levi nodded, looking over Erwin’s shoulder into the yard before looking back at the man before him. “You did do a pretty big favor for your  _husband_. He must be a lucky guy.” Erwin perked up at the low-spoken words, and Levi took a long sip of his water. “But, now that all the garden work is done, what will we do this weekend?”

Erwin smiled. He reached a hand across the table, laying it over Levi’s. His thumb stroked at Levi’s knuckles absently as their eyes met.

“Don’t worry,” he said, “I can think of a few things.”


	28. Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More canonverse unrealized things, or perhaps beginnings.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

The door to Erwin’s office opened with little more than a quiet creak. He did not look up from his desk immediately, instead letting the man who entered come to him. Crisp steps came to a punctuated halt.

“You asked to see me.”

Now he looked up. But he did not put down his quill; he did nothing to suggest he wasn’t still engrossed in the forms spread before him. Any sudden movement might give away his intentions. Any unpredictable action could lead his quarry to flight.

“Yes, Levi.” His eyes flicked briefly over the Captain, a few-seconds assessment, before looking back to his work. “I have a fundraising trip in a few days. As Humanity’s Strongest, I’d like you to attend.”

Levi’s arms immediately crossed over his chest, his face still.

“No, thanks. Why not take Mike?”

Erwin frowned slightly at the papers before him. He’d tried many tactics to get Levi to come with him on these trips- still the man refused. The noble’s desire to see him, the promise of luxurious food, even the plight of the pocket-poor corps had little effect. But he had prepared for this.

If Erwin could not appeal to the soldier, perhaps he could appeal to the man.

“I am not asking Mike. I am asking you.”

“The answer is no.”

Erwin looked up briefly, making sure he caught Levi’s eye. A spark of defiance- something he hardly ever saw anymore. Its sight made him thrill, his back straighten; there were still challenges that remained when it came to his Captain.

He watched Levi’s face for any twinge of muscle, any change in his blank forward stare “What if I told you it would be just you and I?” There was a slight narrowing of Levi’s eyes, there and gone.

“What if I said I’d been trying to get you to go for years now?” The narrowing was real this time, grey eyes alighting on his features as Levi scrutinized his placid smile.

“What if I admitted that my motives were not entirely unselfish in this request?” With that, Levi’s eyes widened, his brows rising. And his fingers twitched. Erwin looked at him, waiting calmly, allowing the man he pursued to step into his snare willingly.

“Are you saying those things?” Levi’s fingers plucked at the arm of his uniform jacket. Grey eyes trained on the flagstones.

Erwin put down his quill, then his papers. He leaned back in his chair. This was no longer business. Business did not work. But, perhaps pleasure did.

“There’s only one way to find out,” he said with a tilt of his head. Levi frowned into the floor. The moment stretched. And then it snapped, Levi turning abruptly and striding across the office.

Erwin closed his eyes. He had failed. And this trap had been laid so carefully. Baited with a lure so precious. An offering so personal.

At the door, Levi’s steps paused. He shot a quick look over his shoulder before placing a hand on the knob. His words would have sounded quiet to anyone else, but they plucked reverberating notes through Erwin’s core.

“I’ll go.”


	29. A Kitty for Kitty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this to cheer a friend up. Levi is an actual cat. It's just really fluffy.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Levi stretched, mouth opening in a sharp-incisored yawn as he spread his limbs out in a star. He turned his head, pressing soft fur against the hardwood floor, warmed by a cut-out of window in the afternoon sun. Feeling the heat building in his fur, too much now that he was awake.

He got up, padding out of the naptime spot, in search of food. There was some left in his bowl, but it was all hard pellets. Nothing new, nothing exciting. Batting at a kibble that skittered around the side of the ceramic bowl, he flicked his whiskers and moewed in displeasure.

Then it was back. His old enemy, the little red spot. On the cabinet door. His body tensed, winding like a spring. With a surge of power he jumped, paws out, claws ready- capturing the red spot where it lay. When he opened his paws the spot had disappeared, somehow it had evaded him again. Something caught his eye, a flash of red, and he saw the spot dancing on the floor.

Levi pounced, chasing the dot as it moved around the kitchen. Jumping up to slap his paws on the cabinets, always just a seconds-breadth too slow for his impossible prey. Each time he thought he’d caught it he felt nothing on the soft pads of his paws, and it slipped from his grasp. As he pursued it he became aware of his human, Erwin watching.

He grew tired of the chase. It was too fast today, and he’d already worn himself out. It was time for sleep. Or eating. He turned toward his human and walked over, bumping his head against fuzzy bare legs and nuzzling into the soft skin. His human was good- even if he didn’t mind that his house was full of strange, blinking red intruders.

Erwin reached down and picked him up, holding him to his chest and an old worn t-shirt. Levi moewed, planting one paw square on Erwin’s chest and straining up to look at him. He looked fine. Good, the red spot hadn’t harmed him. Erwin carried him over to the couch where he sat down, and Levi settled into his lap. Warm, but not too warm. It was the perfect place. Wiggling his shoulders Levi settled in. He felt a large hand run gently over his head and down his back. He purred, arching into the touch, savoring how it smoothed his dark fur.

Having made the perfect nest, with the comforting motion of Erwin’s fingers idly petting his hair, Levi relaxed. The danger had passed, and it was time for a catnap.


	30. Untitled 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, sweet, canonverse co-sleeping woes.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Levi sleeps poorly.

Uncomfortable on a mattress, his tired limbs never know where they belong, his head rolling or drooping on the bulk of the pillow. Balling everything up, hugging his legs to his chest, leaves too much abandoned space at the foot of the bed. Even worse, the Commander’s bed isn’t large enough for two.

His body twists into an approximation of relaxation. It’s ungainly, unpronounceable, a word he’s read but never heard spoken. Exhausted by shifting restlessly he allows himself to inch closer; he allows himself to be caught. To be folded into a broad chest. To feel even breaths sweep over his neck. Raising the hairs at his nape, his muscles stiff and on edge. Easing them slowly, anticipated danger never arriving. Until he molds to Erwin’s shape, at least for now.

Unable to regulate his body temperature under the covers he sweats or shivers. It’s impossible, after so many years sleeping in the open alone, to adjust to another body. He throws sheets and blankets aside, sticks one foot out, or burrows deeper and closer. Giving up, giving in- sharp corners blunted but never worn smooth. It may never be quite right. He simply isn’t made for it. Isn’t made for ease; isn’t made for affection.

Levi sleeps poorly.

But Levi sleeps.


	31. Offering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drabble written for Bottom Erwin Week 2018. The prompt used was "Virginity".
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

It was nothing like what Erwin had expected.

He’d prepared for rough, for fast. For Levi to overwhelm and take. For teeth to consume what he offered, for hands to light them both on fire with violent desire.

Yet when Erwin braced himself, the pain never came.

Instead, everything was tender. Soft, and slow.

The lips that found his, that left him trembling as they trailed over his neck and chest. Chasing the chill of the night, winding a path of warmth that circled his nipples and dipped down to territory covered with crinkling hair, hints of musk lingering from the day’s toil.

The clever fingers, slick and gentle, that stroked brief shivers over sensitive, sun-starved skin. Sliding until they found the muscle, tight-furled and fluttering, and eased it open, ebbing tension replaced by a gradual heat building inside.

Not a raging blaze, but a glow of embers stoked with each breath, each lick, each touch. The calloused pads of Levi’s fingers teased and soothed. Picking his knots apart, loosening the fetters on his voice. With the slip of a warm tongue diving into his navel. With a hand drawing languid circles in supple flesh. With kisses placed, light, brief as breeze, down the inside of his thighs.

When Levi’s body moved up to join his, Erwin’s back arched. And the embers caught- sparks in the dark. When he felt the hint of pressure, the stretch and yield as Levi entered, Erwin’s legs wrapped fast around the man’s slender waist. And the flickers and glow spread each time Levi buried himself deeper inside.

He looked into grey eyes, framed by damp bangs, lit with reverence, and there were no words. No words as they moved together. Only moans, pleas made with an open mouth, appeals choked from a throat quivering between stolen gasps. Sounds swallowed by Levi’s mouth, the wet strokes of his tongue, the solid presence of his hands, cradling Erwin’s face. And the heat within. Building as it spread. Filling him, as Levi did.

When the moments grew tight, when time hung between them, desperate at the edge of the deepest chasm, Erwin understood.

Just as he had given parts of himself over the years, they were returned. Every gentle touch, every press of lips on his cheeks and brow, every thrust between shuddering legs.

The pleasure turned their bodies to dancing flame. Erwin was burnt to ash and reborn: his heart held in Levi’s hands, then replaced with Levi’s own.


	32. Wieners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written based on the "anonymous" (I know who you are) prompt, "Erwin putting his dick in a hotdog bun (with ketchup and mustard) to take a picture of it and Levi catches him". What does life even mean, anyway?
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

The texts were getting out of hand.

At first it had been fun and relatively innocent. Levi would send Erwin a message twenty minutes before he left work. Something suggestive, but not too raunchy. Just a quick ‘can’t wait to see you ;)’ or a little ‘I’ve got something special in mind tonight’.

He’d enjoyed the effect it had. How it would turn Erwin into a possessive beast, all grabbing hands and sloppy kisses once they were safely behind closed doors together.

But, as with many things involving his competitive husband, it had escalated. When Erwin started sending texts back it had become more serious. 

The messages got more explicit. 

‘I’m hungry- for  _you_ ’ quickly morphed into ‘I’m dying for your thick cock, babe’. They made Levi’s ears flush as he quickly hid the screen of his phone from view. He’d tried to keep everything PG-13 on his end, but Erwin didn’t seem to care, or even notice.

He felt awful reading Erwin’s responses on the train, afraid of who might see them or notice his ill-timed hard on.

Then, Erwin started to send him messages, initiating their conversations. And not just right before work ended.

On his way to the break room to fix some tea mid-morning he’d feel his phone vibrate in his slacks. His eyes would dart around, making sure no one was there to see the shameful messages. He’d flick on the phone, unable to leave them unread in case it was something serious.

He’d be in a meeting, concentrating on the presenter when he’d feel the familiar buzz in his pocket. Hiding it under the table he’d read the message furtively and close it just as quickly, always disappointed in himself for looking, for being so weak and so aroused.

Erwin could not be discouraged. Even sending back a curt reply or waiting a long time to respond failed to put a damper on his husband’s new-found enthusiasm for sexting.

Then, one fateful morning, the dick pics began. 

It was the beginning of the end.

The first time Erwin had sent him one, Levi had been standing on the train platform and nearly dropped his phone when he saw the photo. It’s not that it was an unfamiliar sight, but Erwin’s hard cock rendered in such detail on his phone in a public place had far more effect than Levi had ever thought possible. Especially at 7:45 am.

For the next week he withstood a barrage of naughty photos of increasing frequency and creativity. Looking at a recent close-up, Levi genuinely wondered how Erwin had managed that angle with a phone camera as he surveyed the hairs at the back of Erwin’s balls in surprisingly good focus. He continued to puzzle over the whole predicament and fight his stubborn arousal as he headed home on Friday, having left work a little earlier than usual after an especially trying day of explicit messages.

By the time he made it home, Levi had suffered through three more texts. He threw open the door to their apartment, determined to finally relax and probably jerk off in the shower.

That’s when he saw Erwin. Standing in the living room, naked. He held his phone in one hand, and a – hotdog bun? Yes, that was definitely a hotdog bun.

“What the fuck?” Levi exclaimed, slamming the door closed and bearing down on Erwin. He looked up at the sound, his face frozen like a deer in headlights when he saw Levi as the flash went off on the phone in his hand. Erwin was standing in their living room. Naked. His goddamn dick in a goddamn hotdog bun. And those stripes of yellow and red- He’d put fucking condiments on it!

“What the fuck are you doing, Erwin?” Levi spat angrily, looking between his husband’s sheepish expression and the weird sausage party he’d made out of his crotch.

Erwin sputtered, trying to put his phone away and then realizing he had no pockets to put it in. “I’m, uh…taking a photo?” He winced as Levi crossed his arms and frowned.

Levi held up one hand, and pointed a single finger down the hall. “Not anymore, you’re not. You’re throwing that wasted food away and taking a goddamn shower. And I better not find a single speck of ketchup on this carpet!”

Yelping in response, Erwin trotted into the kitchen and speedily disposed of the bun, retreating down the hall into the bathroom as Levi fumed. A moment later Levi heard the sound of the water turning on and let out a long sigh.

His phone vibrated. He groaned.

Looking at the message, Levi blinked and then sighed again. Erwin had sent him the picture. The dick hotdog. Even worse, after all the teasing he’d already endured that day, it didn’t actually look so bad.

It looked … kind of … meaty. And he did feel kind of … hungry.

With a final shrug, Levi threw his phone on the couch.

And headed toward the bathroom, stripping his clothes off before he even opened the door.


	33. Under the Mulberry Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for a dear friend who inspires me constantly. You deserve all nice things.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

As summer crept on, days endless and bright, it became harder to work. Harder to train, harder to strategize, harder to focus. The very act of pulling the damp, sultry air into Levi’s lungs was a struggle and even he had to admit that ending training early for the day was probably wise.

Walking across the unkempt training field he stepped in and out of Erwin’s shadow. Watching its dark tint ripple at the edges, flowing over innumerable long blades of grass. Swallowing up the brightness, always travelling out of reach.

They strode on, one man the others’ shadow, until they were past the yards of Headquarters. Only then did Erwin’s pace slow, and Levi found himself standing more and more in the light. Until they walked side by side, unhurried by the eyes of others or unfinished tasks of the stifling day. Two men, slow steps matching as they floated through the heat-haze.

Passing under outstretched boughs of a large mulberry tree, they slipped into its shade. Erwin placed a small pail on the ground and stretched. His arms reached up, brushing into the low-hanging branches. His back cracked and popped, releasing the tension of work along with a low sigh. Shaking his shoulders, he looked over to his companion.

“What are you doing, Levi?” Erwin asked. Levi was unbuttoning his shirt, cravat already stuck in his back pocket, jacket already folded on the ground.

“We’re picking berries, right?”

Nodding, Erwin mused, “I hardly see how removing your shirt is necessary.”

Tugging the ends of his shirt from his belt, Levi looked up at Erwin and shook his head as though he was explaining something very obvious to small child. “Berries stain.” He folded the garment, placing it carefully on top of the jacket, before picking up the pail they’d brought.

Erwin nodded, a smile creeping across his lips. It was so like Levi. Simple, straightforward, but everything done with a reason. He loosened the ends of his bolo tie, tucking the set stone into his pocket before shrugging out of his jacket and removing his own shirt. Taking the garment off was more freeing than he’d expected, the warm air on his bare skin eased his posture as he melted into the heat.

What no one saw couldn’t hurt them, he reminded himself, and removed his boots and socks. The shaded grass felt cool, the blades threading through his toes as he spread them. Savoring the slight tickle, the sliver of relief, he looked over to see Levi already plucking berries from the low branches of the tree.

Levi’s fingers were deft, careful in making their selection. They flitted pale among the vivid leaves, coming away with jeweled treasure. Each mulberry that went in the pail- a satisfying metallic  _plunk_ \- was dark and full. It was pleasant to watch, to enjoy the work of Levi’s light-dappled hands and strong arms, but it was far more pleasant to take part.

He joined Levi. Stood close, plucked berries from the branches too high for the smaller man to reach, leaned around him to place them in the pail. Little sounds, growing fainter as the number of berries grew. His smile growing wider as they moved in concert. Seeking the most tantalizing, heaviest gems. Alternating their actions, coordinating effortlessly and unconsciously. Their forearms sometimes brushing, the heat pressing them closer as sweat prickled their necks and collected in the dip of collarbones.

The first berry that made its way into Erwin’s mouth was innocent enough. They were impossible to resist, their soft flesh enticing as it bruised easily between callused fingers. They tasted of sun and clear skies weighted with the sweetness of summer. It made Erwin slow, made his head full of the scent of grass and the beating hum of crickets.

Levi was getting along just fine, doing enough work for the two of them, Erwin decided as he let his arms fall to his sides. He walked over to the tree, sliding down its rough trunk to sit at its base. Leaning back he looked up into its branches, spread all around, radiating veins of dark among a field of gently fluttering green. It felt solid, its texture pleasant against his skin as he stretched his legs out and folded his arms behind his head.

After a few moments Levi stopped picking berries and walked over to stand next to Erwin, looking down at him. His expression was unreadable.

“What are you doing?” He asked, his voice neutral, more curious than anything else.

“I’m taking a break,” Erwin responded. He patted the ground next to him. “Will you join me?”

Levi’s lips thinned as he gnawed at the lower one. A habit only Erwin noticed and appreciated. “Alright.” Came the eventual reply, the man sitting down next to him, leaning back against the tree trunk. Their skin touched- Levi’s shoulder against Erwin’s arm, both warm and damp in the humid air. They sat, breathing in the haze. Letting it permeate their lungs and seep into their very bones.

Looking over, Erwin noticed that Levi was staring at him. That he probably had been for some time as they reclined in silence. Watching as they let the insects and breeze speak for them, the rustle of leaves pass as conversation.

“What are you looking at, Levi?”

Levi’s fingers plucked at a blade of grass. “You,” he said, grey eyes calm.

“Why?”

“Here-” Levi selected a berry from the pail, pressing it to Erwin’s lips until they opened in answer “-have one.” His fingers guided the berry into Erwin’s mouth carefully. Plump and sweet, Erwin savored the small treat, letting it coat his tongue. The next berry was still faintly red, faintly tart, its flavor complementing the first, its tang refreshing. Their texture in his mouth was firm then suddenly soft, bursting into tiny seeds and tender flesh.

Each little delicacy that Levi popped into Erwin’s mouth made him relax further, feeling more and more easy and spoiled in the moments that passed. Juicy and sugary, the simple pleasure felt extravagant somehow. As Levi’s fingers brushed his lips, the fleeting touches and indulgence as intoxicating as a fine wine. The little moments unraveled around them, dappled in shadow and light, tinged with sweetness and touch. He pulled in a quick breath as Levi’s fingers lingered on his lips. He watched Levi’s face with anticipation as Levi snuck one of the berries, biting down and chewing carefully as grey eyes danced with mischief.

Levi’s motions had grown languid, Erwin’s lips pliant and ready for each new delight. Fingers tipped in the sticky juice of bruised-ripe berries, Erwin caught Levi’s pale hand and kissed the sweetness from them. Lapping gently at the red-black stains, sucking eagerly at their ends while Levi sighed until the blotches of tacky dark were faded to worn splotches of tint. Seeing that his fingers were clean, Levi pulled his hand away, only the have Erwin catch it around the wrist. Holding it to his lips, kissing it gently with closed eyes before pulling Levi onto his lap.

Grey half-lidded eyes stared into his own, the sweat on Levi’s brow glistening. He leaned in too quickly and their noses bumped, Erwin missing the kiss clumsily and landing on his cheek instead. He chuckled at the mistake, laughing into the soft skin at the corner of Levi’s mouth. When Levi’s hands came up to grasp his face, guiding their mouths together he stopped laughing. Their eyes met. Levi dipped down, small kisses feathered over his lower lip. Tracing its edge, then doing the same to his upper. Levi’s tongue flicked over them, pausing at the corners. Tasting the juice of crushed berries from them.

Levi pulled away for a moment and sighed before closing his eyes, kissing Erwin for real. Their mouths opened, shared, licked and tasted. Lips soft and sticky, tongues lazy and heavy in each other’s mouths. Hot and wet, as humid and sultry as the air, as sweet and delicious as the berries.

In the spaces between kisses Erwin found mulberries eased into his mouth or Levi’s, quickly disappearing between them as the heat in their caresses grew. Levi’s weight, his hands resting on Erwin’s chest and pushing him back against the tree’s trunk, the roll of his hips, and the glances at his dark hair, his pale features viewed so close, overwhelmed Erwin. They let him float into bliss, anchored only by the brush of their lips, the image of Levi filling his vision as the crickets thrummed a mesmerizing rhythm and his heart followed.

When Levi paused, pulling back for a moment, Erwin smiled at the way his lips were stained and full, from berries and kisses.

“You asked what I was looking at,” Levi said.

Erwin nodded lazily, wanting to hear more but letting the words come unbidden from his lover.

“I was looking at you.” Levi’s answer didn’t surprise Erwin, but what followed did. “You looked so young. So happy.”

Erwin smiled, pulling Levi to him, hands cradling his head and back, leaning over to whisper in the shell of his small ear.

“I am happy, Levi.”

And he was.

With Levi in his arms. Holding Levi, kissing him, feeding him berries and eating them from his fingertips.

Happier than he had been in a very, very long time.

For once relaxing. For once just  _being._  With Levi. For once letting time pass them by without trying to desperately wring every last moment from it.

For, in the endless days of summer, there were moments aplenty


	34. Roots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written based on a prompt that went something like this: tattoo artist/piercer Levi, Erwin goes to him and gets the hots, successfully asks him out on a date.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

A tattoo parlor wasn’t exactly the kind of place you’d expect to find Erwin Smith on a weekend. To be perfectly frank, it wasn’t the kind of place Erwin expected to be.

But a lot had happened in the past year and a half that he hadn’t expected.

Mike had recommended the place through a friend of a friend and had come with him to check it out. The small storefront emblazoned with double wings was tucked neatly up against the elevated tracks, in a neighborhood full of converted warehouse apartments. It didn’t look shabby or old, just tiny. When they walked in the place felt even more compact- there was barely room for the little front desk and a few chairs to wait. Bare brick walls were covered with large canvases- huge versions of designs that Erwin supposed the artists had made. He spotted intricate winding floral works, something that looked like a Mayan snake god, and occasionally the repeated motif of wings or feathers.

“Can I help you?” asked a bubbly petite redhead at the front desk with an off-shoulder top and an elaborate tattooed yoke of black roses around her neck.

“Oh, I’m here for a consultation appointment. Erwin Smith,” Erwin answered, walking over to the desk.

“Ah…” The woman trailed off, clicking around her computer. “Oh, yeah, I’ve got you here. Huh, I guess that does make sense…” She seemed distracted, looking at the reservation information.

“Is there a problem?”

“Not really. It’s just that you’re meeting with Levi.”

Erwin frowned in confusion. “Yes,” he responded, “when I spoke with someone on the phone that seemed like the best choice, and Mike recommended him as well.”

The girl looked up, flashing Erwin a big smile. “Oh, it’s a great choice, he’s amazing!” She reassured him, standing up and walking around to the edge of the half-wall separating them from the tattooing area. “He’s just… not exactly a morning person.” She turned with a flip of red hair and gave Erwin an apologetic smile before disappearing behind the wall, yelling “LEVI!” as she went.

Erwin and Mike exchanged uncertain glances and took up residence in the largest of the little chairs they could find.

A minute later the man named Levi appeared. He slouched around the half-wall glaring and Erwin got the very distinct impression that he was not, in fact, a morning person. Everything, from his scuffed sneakers, to his hoodie, to the hasty dark ponytail gathered above the hair shaved up above his ears screamed ‘screw you and your little dog too’. His flat grey eyes looked sunken, ringed in dark, and he clutched the rim of a steaming mug in one hand.

Erwin’s rational brain registered all of this.

Unfortunately, Erwin’s animal brain was far too distracted by Levi’s pectoral muscles above the top of a loose, low-cut tank. And his legs. Christ, Erwin didn’t think he’d ever seen a man pull off spandex running tights before.

Levi collapsed into a chair across from them with a sigh.

“What do you want?” He asked, voice flat and deeper than Erwin had expected.

“You,” Erwin breathed out, then stammered as Levi looked at him sharply and Mike’s mouth fell open, “ Y-y-ou to help me decide on a tattoo design!” Levi rolled his eyes. Erwin winced internally.

Somehow, he managed to make it through their consultation without putting his foot in his mouth again. The sketch he’d brought had impressed Levi, something the redhead at the front desk later told them was not easy to do. Levi had agreed to use it as a starting point for his design and do the tattoo over a few sessions.

The evening of his first session Erwin debated calling Mike. The place had looked fine, impeccably clean, they’d both agreed. Levi had been professional, if terse. The updated design he’d sent Erwin had been breathtaking- better than anything he’d envisioned. There were no outward signs that should have made Erwin worry. But he was worried. A gorgeous man was about to stick a needle in his skin. Repeatedly. It was exciting and terrifying at the same time.

He ended up going by himself, the potential benefits of alone time with Levi winning out over the comfort Mike would provide.

The appointment went well for the most part. Yes, he had ogled Levi’s pert ass in tight jeans. Of course, he’d stared plenty at the strong shoulders and upper arms covered in intricate feather designs. Sure, he may have blushed when Levi asked him to take off his shirt. And admittedly, the realization of  _just how small_  Levi really was when the chair had been lowered until he felt like he was almost sitting on the ground had made him more aroused than he’d like to admit. But it had gone well, and the black outline of winding branches up the side of his back that spread over one shoulder hadn’t hurt nearly as much as he’d feared. Levi had been quiet, focused on his work, and Erwin was still too embarrassed by their first meeting to initiate any real conversation.

Erwin’s second appointment went more smoothly. By now he knew what to expect, the way Levi’s gloved hands held his skin taut, the strange scraping sensation on the skin, and the slow progress of the outlining- the tree’s trunk making its way down to roots that wound and spread over his lower back. It also felt more intimate, Levi’s hands travelling lower toward his belt, his touch sure and gentle.

By the third appointment they were talking more easily, and Erwin found himself distracted from the boredom and strange combined sensation of slight physical discomfort from both the tattooing process and his own embarrassing crush. The time passed with ease, and he was pleased with the progress of the tree’s detailing.

His final appointment arrived and Erwin almost felt a pang of regret. It was unlikely that he would see Levi again, at least for a while. But this was something he wanted to see through, had promised himself he would do. As he sat in the chair one final time, Levi’s deft fingers on his skin, he found himself opening up to the man. After all, it was his last chance, there was no harm in it now.

“So, why did you choose this?” Levi asked. He was shading and detailing the bark, fine lines and delicate gradients to create texture and depth.

“Does it look bad?”

Levi didn’t speak for a moment, and Erwin couldn’t tell if he was collecting his thoughts or just concentrating on the work.

“No. It looks great. It will look even better when we finish today.”

Erwin nodded absently. So, Levi wasn’t judging his originality, that was encouraging.

“But you didn’t answer my question. Something this large, I assume you’ve got a reason. Everyone does.”

“Oh,” Erwin replied, “Yes. I do. It’s to remind me.”

“Of?”

Erwin appreciated that Levi didn’t guess. That he could supply whatever information he was willing to. “Of my father.” His answer was soft. He opened his mouth to add more, but the words didn’t come, and Erwin felt the slight pressure and prick of something in his eyes. Even though he was finally doing this, it didn’t make it any easier.

“I’m sorry,” Levi murmured, “I hope it helps you,” as though he knew exactly what Erwin meant.

As Levi continued his work in silence, leaning close, Erwin swallowed. His throat felt heavy, constricted. But the repetitive motion of Levi’s touch, the sensation of the needle going over his skin lulled him away from the darker versions of thoughts he’d had many times before. There was no need to go over it again and again, no need to spill out every painful memory he’d collected. Maybe that was why he felt himself unwinding, telling Levi more than he’d intended.

“My father was a teacher.”

Offering no judgement, no opinions, Levi simply made noises of acknowledgement. Simply listened.

“And he taught me many things.”

“A good man?”

“Yes. Probably too good, I’ll always be in his shadow.”

“Hmm.”

“He held my family together. Not just my mother and sister, but all of it.”

The hypnotic sensation continued, the slow journey of the needle over his skin beginning to provide just enough bite to take the edge off his thoughts, to ground him in the present.

“When he passed away, it all fell apart. I did what I could to put it back together, but I worry that I forgot a lot of the things he taught me on the way. About how to be a man. That’s why I wanted this. To remind me.”

Levi hummed. Erwin wondered if he was just listening in a professional capacity. Just allowing Erwin to unburden himself. But when Levi spoke, he realized the man had been paying attention to more than just his words.

“So, you chose a tree. Knowledge, stability, life. Roots for connection and family, a trunk that’s weathered and worn, and branches reaching up to the sky towards the future.”

It was true.

All of it.

Levi had put into words things Erwin had only thought about vaguely, only felt instinctually when he decided on the design.

The rest of the session passed in silence. When Levi finished, he declared the tree done as well.

Erwin slipped his shirt back on carefully, taking one last look around the workspace that had grown familiar. This was his last chance, and after such an intimate discussion, he felt he had nothing to lose. He might as well bare his entire heart.

“Levi, would you like to get coffee sometime?”

Levi frowned slightly, and Erwin looked down, hiding any disappointment he felt at the rejection.

“I don’t like coffee. But I drink tea.”

Erwin looked up, and smiled when his eyes met Levi’s- grey and tired, but sincere. “Great,” he sighed, “I’ll call you?” Levi walked over to his neat desk, pulling out a business card and writing on the back.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He slipped the card into Erwin’s hand as he shook it; the firm handshake felt more personal than any he could recall.

As he walked toward the front of the shop he heard Levi call after him.

“Erwin.” He turned. “That tree. I know it’s still winter now, but someday it won’t be. Someday it will leaf out.”

Erwin nodded.

And smiled.

Levi was right.


	35. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written based on the prompt, "Levi’s inner struggle with having to work with Zeke instead of fulfilling his oath to Erwin". Hoo boy. Hits close to home right there.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

His anger was poison.

He’d always known it. No good could come from the kind of insidious, marrow-deep hate he harbored. But this wasn’t about ‘good’ any longer, and it had never really been. Levi had no use for pretty words or sentiment. Not when he’d already become a demon many times over.

There was only the objective.

And Erwin’s ghost.

They had always been each other’s foil. But now both had to live in one man, a small vessel scarred and imperfect, not suited for such moral arguments.

They warred within.

One side urging him on, trying to make him care about humanity, about something larger than the gnashing evil burrowed deep. The ideals Erwin had fought and died for, even if he hadn’t believed them in the end. The other telling him to drive his sword deeper, to twist his blade, to drop the act and be his own man.

He had been his own man, once.

Until Erwin complicated everything, damn him. And look what it had brought. Loyalty to a group that no longer existed. Uncertainty and doubt, the enemies of action.

Anger and armor, all the way down.

The questions Erwin’s ghost asked him were too complicated. The man had always been so many steps ahead. And he was tired. Tired of thinking, tired of listening as others spoke in rational tones, Hanji’s measured plans, Armin’s gambles, Zeke’s scheming. Tired of pretending.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

But nothing was ever simple, and if Levi had learned one lesson in his life it was that fighting for love was futile.

So he fought for hate.


	36. And Buns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion piece to "Weiners". Written based on a hilarious Anon whose message I will faithfully recreate:  
> "Yesterday I was reading that hotdog dick erwin fic. I laughed. My bf huddled up to me to read it. Next morning, I woke up with a bunch of txts: the spectacle of his failed hotdog dick attempt on my phone. The bun was too small for him. IDK how but It was destroyed. Hand slipped. The ketchup sprayed everywhere. it looked he'd stabbed someone to death with his Johnson. FucKiNG DISASTER. IM JUST BAFFLED."
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

The whole sexting thing had been a wild fiasco, true, but Levi found himself missing it a little as the months went by. 

He no longer had to shield the screen when he opened his phone in public. He no longer accidentally flashed commuters with blonde pubes that weren’t even his. He no longer dreaded the vibrations his phone make during working hours.

Now the messages were tame.

_‘Remember to get milk on your way home.’_

_‘Hanji and Moblit are coming over tonight at 7.’_

_‘Forgot to do the laundry, sorry.’_

Boring.

It’s not that the spark was gone, exactly. Things were just getting a little bit…routine. 

So, Levi made a plan. On Thursday Erwin was working late with remote meetings- it was perfect. He swung by a little bodega on his way home. They were out of hotdog buns, but he figured hamburger would be good enough for his purposes.

Back in the kitchen, Levi took a deep breath. He collected the bag of buns, ketchup, mustard, a jar of relish, a spoon, and a single slice of American cheese. If he was going to do this ridiculous thing he was going to do it right.

With his supplies arranged in the bathroom he stripped and stepped into the bathtub. Did he put the ketchup on first? How should he position the cheese? Levi experimented briefly, taking a few practice shots to figure out the angles.

This was a lot harder than it had looked.

Erwin had also been aroused when he’d taken the picture. Levi felt his ears heat.

_Think about Erwin._ _Think about how exciting the texts were._

Chewing his lower lip, Levi let out a sigh. How was he supposed to do this? He had to relax or none of it was going to work. He rolled his shoulder and closed his eyes. This was going to work.

Ten minutes later he hit his stride. Everything was arranged perfectly. The cheese wrapped expertly underneath the length of his hard cock, the bread nestled around it. The hamburger bun was small, sure, and he did hang quite a bit over the edge, but that just made everything else look bigger. He’d carefully decorated it all with a thin line of relish and artful squiggles of ketchup and mustard. 

It looked fucking delicious.

Levi grinned, getting his phone ready. This was the tricky part. He angled the camera, leaning back to try and get his hand out of the shot. Just. A little. More and-

Levi slipped. 

The camera flashed. 

His back hit the wall. The camera flashed again. 

He fell. The bun dropped. Cheese and condiments went everywhere. His arm flailed. The glass ketchup bottle knocked over into the tub. His ass slammed into the ceramic with a jolt. Levi groaned. He sat in the tub, blinking as he recovered from the startle. He looked down and groaned again. 

What a fucking mess.

Levi sighed, and snapped a final picture of it all. Somehow the bun was still in place, but there was ketchup everywhere. Totally ruined.  _This is what I fucking get_ , he thought with a wry smile as he hit ‘send’.  _At least Erwin will get a kick out of it_. 

Twenty minutes later Levi had finally cleaned up the mess and taken a shower. He sat on the couch, flipping through shows and thinking about what to cook for dinner. 

BANG~ BANG~

The loud knock made him jump. His head swiveled toward the door. Erwin burst in, out of breath and red in the face. His eyes were wild, his hair disheveled, his tie undone and hanging around his neck. Blue eyes scanned the apartment, stopping when they landed on Levi.

“Oh my god!” Erwin surged forward, so quickly that Levi pressed himself back into the couch as the larger man approached. “You’re okay? Are you okay? Levi, speak to me!”

“Uh…” Levi stammered, as Erwin sat down next to him, big hands patting over his body as though he was checking that Levi was all in one piece. “Yeah? I’m fine. What the hell…”

“Thank god!” Erwin’s hands patted over his groin, squeezing his thighs in the loose gym shorts. They groped between his legs. Levi gasped, the rough treatment more exciting than he’d like to admit. After another rough squeeze that left Levi breathless and half-hard, Erwin seemed satisfied. 

There was barely time for Levi to take a deep breath before Erwin hugged him close. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

“What? What is going on?” Levi pushed him back, confused and overwhelmed. 

Erwin’s eyes looked a little wet. “The text! It looked terrible! I thought you’d been stabbed, or maybe that you’d stabbed someone? Maybe you’d been making a sandwich naked and were attacked? Maybe your assailant was some twisted sicko who leaves hamburger buns as a calling sign? Maybe you were being held against you will by a cannibal?”

Levi’s eyes widened as he held back a chuckle. “You came home early because you thought I’d been attacked by a dick cannibal?”

“I was worried!” 

They stared at each other. 

Levi’s lips twitched. Erwin blinked. 

Their eyes scanned each other’s faces slowly. 

Erwin cracked first, a slow smile spreading across his face as he chuckled. Levi fell back on the sofa, shaking his head as a smile spread over his features. The sound of Erwin’s laughter grew, urging them both on. Falling over each other in a pile, the relieved chuckles turned into belly laughs and Levi held his sides as he shook silently.

When they finally recovered, Erwin sat up and fixed Levi with an appraising eye.

“What’s up?” Levi asked. 

“Well,” Erwin began, pulling his tie off and scooping Levi into his arms, “I did come home early.” He stood, lifting the smaller man off the couch as Levi’s arms wrapped around his neck.

“And I won’t be  _entirely convinced_  you’re okay until I’ve checked for myself.” 


	37. Short Circuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somewhat angry smut. Brief.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

There’s a reason he doesn’t remove his boots.

Bent over the Commander’s desk, swearing and hissing, blunt nails digging splinters into the wood with each thrust, Levi is punished.

For the shit he’s done, the shit he’s said, the shit he hasn’t even thought that curls shadowed within.

His back arches briefly before he’s slammed into the desk with unforgiving power. Before a large hand holds him down, pressing the side of his face against the wood. Rubbing his cheekbone raw each time he’s filled. Pounding the breath from his lungs, the venom from his brain, the sick guilt from his body.

Replacing his misdeeds with pain. The pain he wants. The pleasure he hasn’t earned. The pain that makes him twitch and groan, wires crossed, twisted beyond recognition into waves of pleasure.

When Erwin yanks him up, hand fisted tight in his hair, he bites his lip until it’s hot copper. When Erwin leans down, whisper rolling low in his ear, his mouth falls open and the dam breaks. He comes, Erwin’s fingers clamping possessive on the fabric over his groin.

When Erwin follows, moments later, bruising his hips and thighs, his body goes limp.

His punishment accepted. His anger spent. His sins absolved for a brief moment.

And for a single second he wonders if this is all he really wants.

But it’s all he deserves.

And there’s a reason he doesn’t remove his boots.


	38. Rash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unrequited canonverse. Just light me on fire already.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

It itches. A distraction, lodged just beyond Levi’s field of vision. The kind of thing that raises his hackles and tightens his jaw, that haunts the corners at night when the wicks burn down to nothing and he stares into the dark.

Something he doesn’t understand. Something that circles around and back, pacing. Growing closer.

So he beats it away, takes it out by picking fights. Pretending he’s fighting for any reason other than to be hurt. Restless energy turned to punches. His opponents never fighting back quite the way he wants. They never scratch and bite like they did in the Underground. They never go for the groin. And the skin scraped from his knuckles and the sharp bursts of white behind his eyes as his lip splits from a blow to the mouth aren’t enough. To forget the thing lurking.

When he’s ordered to stop, punished for his insubordination, the thing becomes solid. He’s found its source. In the disappointment in Erwin’s eyes. In the tired way he pinches the bridge of his nose. In how he won’t look at Levi when he speaks.

It burns. Flaring every time he gets near, its presence scorching. The kind of thing that makes his fingers clench and his speech sharp, that won’t let him settle or sit of fucking sleep in the fresh hell he’s made for himself.

Something he hates. Something that whispers weakness in his ear, lurking. Standing just behind.

So he denies its presence, fills the space with training and work. Pretending he’s fighting against titans rather than his own demons. Frustration and anger turned to sweat and blood. His swords singing through the air, his gear threatening to break his bones as it whips him cruelly around. He pushes harder, faster, but he can’t afford to do the damage he longs for most. And it wouldn’t banish the thing anyway. The bruises, the chafe of leather, and the broken toes he never complains of, heal slowly but they always heal and it isn’t enough. To prove he doesn’t care.

When he’s dubbed Humanity’s Strongest, praised for his efforts and respected, the thing taunts. He can’t turn away from it when it stands before him for so many hours of the day. The hope in Erwin’s eyes. How he shows Levi off to the nobles and crowds. The quiet tone Erwin’s voice takes when they’re alone.

It aches. Aging to a constant pain, something he learns to live with. The kind of thing that twinges in his joints and pounds behind his ears, that won’t let him forget or stop even as he leaves his selfishness behind.

Something he knows well. Something that lives inside him, ever waiting. Its fingers curled around his heart.

So he acknowledges it and does what little he can. He takes the compliments without sneering. He listens without judging. He trains and fights and kills and dies a little more. He offers whatever assistance is needed and would give his life the moment it asked. The moment Erwin asked.

And he itches and burns and aches all at once because it will never be enough. And it’s all he’ll ever have.


	39. Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft canonverse.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

It was impossible to know when the wee hours had become too choking and endless, or when the terrors of the night had bled into the waking hours.

But Levi had haggled and bartered and swindled and sold enough of himself.

And maybe he didn’t deserve this, but even he was weak in some ways. Ways that let him put his pride aside. That let him shed some of the chill from his countenance. That pushed hesitation away when the opportunity arose.

In the haven of Erwin’s bedroom, safe in their inner sanctum, the world paused. The fighting stopped, the pain receded, and the strain of driving ever-onward loosened.

Erwin’s bed was narrow, but it made space enough to breathe.

The horrors of reality fled from the circle of their embrace. They banished them with hands and lips that rescued each other where swords could not. With eyes that lingered on the imperfections they hid from the world. Soft sighs and heaved breaths voicing the things they could never say with words.

Lost in each other, the past mattered little. The future was never certain, but it could wait. The now was something they could grab and hold, solid and warm beneath seeking fingers. In the span between their bodies, stolen moments threaded and knotted a web, gossamer strands more complex with every touch.

It was almost possible to believe the next battle would never come. It was almost possible to pretend that there would never be a moment when they’d have to let go. It was almost possible to imagine a future where the world had space for the now.

No longer Captain and Commander.

But merely men.


	40. Stable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Manly shoulder clasp. Canonverse, Levi and horses.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

The stables were quiet in the evening. Even more so after the brief flurry of activity accompanying the Scouts’ return from beyond the Walls.

The ones who did return.

Levi had already tended to his mount. The numb ache of death, the horror of endless smoldering blood and dismembered corpses did not stop him from attending his duties. Especially those he owed the living. None was more blameless than his faithful black steed, something pure, a beast of sweat and toil underneath the filth of battle.

Still, there was reason enough to brush the dark flanks of his horse until they shone. To change the water in his trough, and refresh the hay. Even if this was the third time. Even if he had just finished replacing them. Even if they had been perfect the last two times. There was reason to run his hand over the beast’s smooth coat, to feel the velvet of its nose as it nudged him gently, its lips mouthing his cape as it searched for apples.

With a sigh, Levi left his horse, carefully closing the gate to its stall. On his way out he passed Erwin’s stallion, and paused. It was facing away, its haunches held oddly. He stepped into its enclosure. Its saddle and tack had been removed, but whoever had seen to the Commander’s horse had done a poor job brushing it. Levi set about, tidying its stall and gathering the things he needed. He could do this at least. He fed and watered it, eased the dust from its hair with practiced strokes, brushing it away.

After working it over thoroughly, Levi stood at the horse’s flank, squeezing its leg until its hoof lifted.

Giving him access so easily.

Picking dirt from the grooves, the large presence of the horse eased him. Its solid bulk, warm and still smelling of the sun that beat beyond the Walls. The snuffles and huffs of air it breathed in its relaxed rhythm. Never skittish, it did not fear him. Quiet and stoic, it did not question or complain.

It did not scream.

If only men were so simple as horses.

He worked his way around, cleaning each hoof in turn until he reached its last hind leg. When the hoof lifted, Levi frowned. A sharp rock was lodged deep into the frog, held there by the shoe. Whoever had tended the Commander’s mount had been careless. He worked the stone free, murmuring to the beast as its weight shifted and its leg twitched against his arm. When it loosened, he plucked it out, tossing it from the stall to collect later. With a final brush, he was finished. Placing everything back where it belonged, bidding the horse goodnight with a hand on its nose.

As he turned to leave the stall, he paused.

Erwin stood, just beyond its door.

Quiet, watching- somehow Levi had been too focused on the beast to notice the man.

“Commander.” Levi nodded in acknowledgment, stepping around the man to exit.  

He felt a hand fall heavy on his shoulder.

He stopped.

Its weight anchored him.

Big- fingers curling around his collar, thumb pressing into his back.

Hot- even through the fabric layers of his cape and uniform.

He turned to face Erwin.

Blue eyes flicked to the white stallion, and meaningfully to the stone he’d tossed into the aisle before locking with his own.

“Levi.”

His neck prickled. His face grew tense. Feeling a telltale flash of tightness in his gut, he looked away.  Unable to match Erwin’s gaze. Unable to control the twitch in his lip. Unable to spare the energy needed to decipher the look in deep eyes that burned into the exposed skin at his neck.

The hand on his shoulder tightened, its grip firm.

Too firm.

Possessive.

“Thank you.”

The weight lifted as the clasped hand released.

Levi walked away quickly, his pulse still loud in his ears.

It was only when he’d left the stables that he remembered to breathe.


	41. Cake by the Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt "offering their snack". Reincarnation in a modern AU.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

“There’s nothing there for me but bad memories.” 

Even when Erwin had finally pried some explanation from Levi it still made no sense. This blanket generality was laid equally over the black sand beaches of Hawaii, the rugged coast of Maine, and the crystalline blue of Bermuda. Reducing them all to a single sentence, stripping the uniqueness of their features from them and replacing it with one thing: bad memories.

What those memories could possibly be, Levi offered no hint, and Erwin’s mind could do nothing but grasp at flickers of sense. At the way Levi’s jaw grew tight, at the crease the formed between his thin brows, and the clip in his one-word answers. Most worryingly, at the faraway stare Levi would fix him with, the one that looked in and beyond, as if seeing something he both was and wasn’t.

Bad memories, somehow stemming from a place Levi had never been.

So, they visited the mountains instead. They saw lakes, waterfalls, canyons in the hot desert, neon blinking skyscrapers looking out over concrete mazes. But they never set foot in saltwater. And they never stood on a beach that faced away from land.

Until Mike and Nanaba’s invitation broke their silent promise. It would be unthinkable to ignore the wedding for something as silly as bad memories. That’s what Levi had said, after reading the concern in Erwin’s face upon realizing the location.

That night Erwin held him close, whispering devotions where Levi’s pulse fluttered in his neck between soft sobs as they moved together- replacing the shadows with glow and spark.

The bride was lovely, the groom charming. It was a clear day, a gorgeous stretch of clean beach, where the newly-wedded couple walked barefoot through the surf, Nanaba holding her skirt just out of the water’s green foam-tipped fingers. The guests sat at small tables arranged along the sandy strip, facing out across the water as the sun lowered and the few clouds in the sky turned to pastel castles floating low over the darkening water.

When Erwin felt a small hand come to rest on his thigh, he looked over. Levi’s hair whipped around his face with the breeze, tousled by the salt-scented air. His thousand-mile stare out over the ocean was unreadable, his grey eyes as deep and full of motion as the water they reflected.

Erwin looked down at his plate and scooped up a bit of wedding cake in his fork.

“Cake?” He asked, not expecting Levi to indulge when the other man had been unable to eat since their arrival.

Blinking, Levi looked at the piece of cake balanced on Erwin’s fork. 

He looked around the tables, eyes pausing on their friends each in turn. 

For a moment, his grey stare flicked back out over the water before it came to rest on Erwin’s face.

He nodded, opening his mouth as Erwin fed him. 

Chewing the mouthful, his face softened and his lips curled ever so slightly as he swallowed.

“How is it?” Erwin asked.

Levi paused before answering, and his voice was soft and halting when he did.

“This time, it’s not so bad.”


	42. Squint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt "pushing glasses into place". Fluffy.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

The coffee was burnt that morning. The toast was soggy. They ran out of toilet paper.

And it was all Levi’s fault.

Levi and the inhuman metabolism that kept him trim while Erwin struggled to jog off the softness settling near his middle. Levi and the unbelievably thick black hair that made the few stray greys at Erwin’s temples stand out even more as he stared moodily into the mirror. Levi and the unageing face that only showed hints of wear around the eyes while Erwin’s own eyesight worsened.

It wasn’t really Levi’s fault, but it was much easier to pretend that it was.

Especially as he grumbled his way through the morning, ignoring Levi’s peacemaking offers: shrugging the small hand off his shoulder, averting his eyes whenever he caught worried glances, and slamming the door after only a brief peck on the nose- too stiff and rankled to bend down further for his husband’s lips.  

He snapped at the secretary. He criticized the optometrists’ bedside manner. He tapped his foot for nearly twenty minutes as the frustration jangled through him while he waited for his lenses to be fitted into the frames he’d chosen.

By the time he got home, the damned day had pulled every last once of energy from him. He flopped onto the couch, hoping Levi had remembered to get toilet paper on his way home because it was just one more thing on top of a mountain of things he couldn’t be bothered to do.

He picked up this month’s magazine from Levi’s Physics Society and began flipping through. The print was small and dense, fuzzy squiggles eluding him. He sighed, fishing his glasses case out of the pocket of his khakis and opening it. Staring down at the cursed eye-wear he grumbled to himself. Too tired to protest any longer, he put them on and turned back to the article discussing variation in measurements of the Hubble constant.

When Levi came home he didn’t notice- the article was surprisingly interesting. When Levi slipped onto the couch next to him he kept reading- engrossed in the finer points of cosmic microwave background collection methods. When Levi leaned close, their sides and arms touching as his husband bent over to look at the magazine, Erwin finally looked up.

“Those images are false color, this one is misleading,” Levi said pointedly, poking at one of the figures.

“Oh?” Erwin raised an eyebrow as he put the magazine down, laying it open on the coffee table before adding, “Why don’t you tell me your interpretation then- I’m sure  _Professor_  Ackerman has his share of opinions about it.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “I can think of a million things I’d rather do than explain the Lambda Cold Dark Matter model to you,” Levi added while climbing over Erwin, straddling his thighs and settling warm on his lap. When Erwin looked at his husband’s face- tired and fond, his heart clenched.

He had hardly looked at Levi at all that morning.

And when he’d looked, he hadn’t seen.

Their lips met, Erwin’s hands snuck tentative under Levi’s sweater as they kissed. Seeking skin and closeness, melting away the day, melting away the years. Levi’s face pressed close and Erwin felt the glasses frame dig into the bridge of his nose.

He pulled back, frowning. He brought his hand up to remove the hated things, but Levi’s fingers caught his, twining them together.

Levi’s thumb touched the center of the frame, adjusting it back into place from where it had fallen forward.

“Leave them on, Erwin-” Levi murmured, leaning in to continue their kiss. Before their lips met again Erwin felt the puff of breath from Levi’s low words, “-you look so sexy in them.”

As Erwin leaned back, pulling Levi down onto him, he couldn’t help but smile.


	43. Snug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random, short, morning stuff.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Waking before the dawn is different here. Different. Levi can let his mind wander without having to beat back the usual thicket of thorns. Without having to keep one eye to his back. Without having to listen for hints of danger.

Here his mind can tread softly over safe ground. Can linger on the ridges and valleys of blanket sketching the form of the man next to him. Can meander down an outstretched arm, following tendon and nearly invisible hair to a wrist, turned upwards. Fingers soft, curled, open.

No thorns, no danger, no interruption from the outside world save for a slow lightening and the first calls of birds.

In this place, still warm and dim, a sliver of peace remains. One that will flee with the dawn’s pink light, but one that rests in the shadow of a sheet twisted around Erwin’s legs and smooths the lines of long days and nights from his brow and urges Levi closer with each low breath and gentle stir of limbs.

Unwilling to wake, clinging to the shadows and dark, Levi slips underneath the tangled blanket, Erwin shifting unconsciously to make room before drawing him near.

Legs that wind under.

Smooth brow, bent until soft hair tickles him with each breath.

Limbs whose weight feels as natural as Levi’s own.

That trap him in this in-between, and free his mind to wander.


	44. Pruning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi loves his houseplants. Domestic fluff.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

In the past, the stretches of silence had been short. A few days, spent brooding, a fleeting sour mood. When it happened, one of them would pivot. Realizing the other was overworked, frustrated, distracted by something and stepping in before communication shut down. Before they drifted too far from each other.

But this time they were both so busy. The little things fell by the wayside- no one making tea or coffee for the other, waking up at different times, barely seeing each other in the evening when they both slouched home from work. Too tired to cook together. Showers taken alone, their exercise schedules no longer matching up. Watching different things while sitting on the same couch- Erwin with the television turned to a historical drama while Levi stared at his laptop. When an episode finished Erwin leaned over, trying to scoot Levi onto his lap only to be pushed away with a grumble of ‘bedtime’.

The smallest things became flash points, gritty irritations that scraped between them, rubbing their bonds raw. A coffee cup left in the bathroom earned a snarky comment. Overdue library books turned into an argument over who had even borrowed them in the first place. But it would have been impossible to predict that Levi’s houseplants would be the breaking point.

Levi had gotten home twenty minutes early, and he was determined to put the time to good use. The flowers on the balcony were looking a little limp. The herbs needed pruning. He hadn’t watered his houseplants in far too long, and he might even final get to trimming the overgrowing bonsai on his desk. He was still standing on the balcony, deadheading the petunias and crooning over them, when Erwin came home.

No matter, he’d just finish this one last thing.

The balcony door opened, and Erwin came out onto it, folding his arms over his chest as he closed the screen behind him.

“We need to talk.”

“Hmmm?” Levi looked over briefly, then looked back to his task. Couldn’t Erwin see the he was busy? Couldn’t he have a single moment of peace in his day?

“Levi, I know we’ve both been under a lot of stress lately, but I’m tired of us taking it out on each other.”

“How do you mean?” He was only halfway through deadheading, there was a lot more to do.

Erwin sighed, and pressed on, his voice growing quieter and more strained. “We’re ignoring each other. I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t want us both to get through this busy time and then realize the other person has become a stranger. One who cares more about his houseplants than his partner.”

Levi bristled and turned to face Erwin for the first time. “You think I care more about my houseplants than you? My  _houseplants_?” He hissed.

“There’s no need to raise your voice.”

Levi hated that tone. It made his blood boil. That patronizing irony coming from a man who was accusing him of something so childish. His hand curled into a fist, crushing the dead flowers in it angrily to a sticky pulp. “Raise my voice? Erwin, what the fuck? I come home. I’m tired as shit. All I ask is for twenty fucking minutes of peace and fucking quiet. And instead you come in here and give me shit for  _taking care of my houseplants_?”

Erwin rolled his eyes. They were into it now. Standing on the balcony, for all their neighbors to see. Arguing over fucking plants.

“Oh, come on, Levi, you know what I mean! Or do I need to spell it out? You trim those plants. You water them-” Something in Levi’s brain clicked at the ridiculous accusation and the anger stopped building. “-You fertilize them-” He stared at Erwin, hardly believing what he was hearing as his frustration drained as quickly as it had risen. “-You even talk to them more than you talk to me these days!” Erwin’s face grew redder and his voice louder as he continued, pointing angrily at the innocent plant life to make a point. Levi’s eyes widened, half in realization, and half in amusement at the sight of his partner getting so worked up over something so little.

But Erwin plowed on. “Levi, why don’t you ever trim  _me_  anymore? You never water  _or_  fertilize  _me_! And I’d like to talk to you for even just  _half_  the time you spend whispering intimately to your plants!” His desperation was palpable, and Levi had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud.

When Erwin had finished, his arms fell to his sides. He made as if to turn around, defeated and having said his peace. Reaching out, Levi caught his hand, tugging him back. Closing the distance between them he wound his arms around Erwin’s waist, pressing his nose into the curve of Erwin’s spine and breathing deeply, slowly to calm them both and keep himself from laughing.

As they stood, Erwin’s shoulders relaxed. Levi felt the tension fall away. Shuffling awkwardly in Levi’s tight grip Erwin turned around, finally completing their embrace as he wrapped his arms around Levi’s shoulders and held him close to his chest. Levi knew the danger had passed when he felt the gentle pressure on his head, Erwin bending down to sigh into his hair.

“I’m sorry,” Erwin murmured. Levi tried to nod, then realized he couldn’t move his head much, not when Erwin was holding him so tightly.

“I am too,” he said instead. “But, do you really want me to water and fertilize you? I’m not sure I’m up for whatever that is. It sounds kind of…” Levi trailed off, glad Erwin couldn’t see the teasing grin on his face.

Erwin chuckled, a sound that Levi felt rather than heard. A sound he had missed.

“No, Levi. I’d settle for some intimate whispering instead.” Placing a kiss to the part in Levi’s hair, Erwin straightened as Levi looked up at him. Erwin’s face was tired, but the bright blue eyes were clear, and for the first time Levi remembered in a long time, they were focused totally on him.

“That, I think I can manage.”


	45. Enemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is canonverse and has Yelena in it. It's essentially Eruri but if you despise Yelevi maybe give it a pass.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

“Let’s have tea.”

With outspread hands, the body of a man brutally murdered moments before still bleeding on her boots, the enemy was among them.

And the enemy was not what Levi had imagined. Not the raging titan shifters, not the filthy rock-throwing cowards, not the drone soldiers who wore rounded helmets and came from the sea.

The enemy stood tall, and the enemy welcomed them.

The enemy wanted to talk, to plan, to strategize with them. The enemy spoke as though they were friends. Diplomatic, welcoming, generous with the information they shared.

And there were moments, fleeting hints, when Levi was half-dazed, or lost in thought and snapped from it. Their tall form bent over a map, blonde hair falling over their face, deep in discussion with Hanji.

And it almost looked.

For a moment.

Those calm tones, that even speech.

But the moments were fragile, they broke apart into a thousand stinging shards that cut into Levi’s heart when the enemy looked up. Dark eyes instead of blue.

And Erwin was still dead. And nothing could replace the empty space he’d left.

Moments when he was watching and directing others, standing to the side, holding himself apart from the young soldiers who could never understand.

He’d sense something.

Someone.

Someone large and confident behind him.

A moment of relief would flow through his body, the tendons in his neck relaxing as he felt that familiarity of a commanding presence.

Catching a glimpse out of the corner of his eye.

A tall figure, hints of blonde.

But the uniform was wrong. The voice was wrong. And every time she snapped him from his reverie to ask a question or give advice the hackles rose on his neck and he bit down snarls. He would not stoop to the level of Zeke’s dog and yap.

When they drank tea together he did not complain. As they pored over maps he let himself slip into that space instead.

One where he could pretend, in fleeting moments. Where he could lull himself into a false ease. Stealing some of that feeling back.

Even though the bile rose when he thought of how he was treating the memories.

One evening he stood, looking out to sea. Thinking about the faraway land of Marley the enemy had spoken of. A land where people went about their lives. A land where people did not fear the titans, but instead feared each other. A land whose fate had somehow become his own. Thinking about it made him angry. There were no other emotions he could latch onto and hold when the sense of it all fled. Too many threads, too fine to hold all at once.

Erwin would have been able to see to their ends, would have untangled the mess of confusion and laid it all out carefully. Or, he would have cut through it to its knotted heart, snipping it neatly away.

Levi sighed, and his back stiffened. His skin prickled as someone approached. Someone tall.

Someone stopped just behind him, just out of sight. And he felt a hand, coming to rest heavy on his shoulder.

He stared straight ahead.

Aching.

Wishing.

Dying.

Each breath burning, searing through his chest, filling his lungs with ash.

“They’re out there.”

The voice was wrong. His heart clenched and would not release.

“We can free the Eldian people, Levi. Together.”

His jaw clenched. The ash he breathed from his lungs pricking his eyes.

“I believe in this plan. In our plan. We can save them.”

Noble words, ringing in their conviction. Levi broke, sneaking a single glance behind. A glance met with shining dark eyes looking down at him. Unclouded and deep. Full of faith, full of conviction. A glance that lasted only a second but filled his head with years of memories. Of orders given and followed without question. Of loyalty built through toil and experience. Of a dream that he’d seen only in abstract, a reflection in a pool with its surface rippled and inverted. But one so powerful that he’d made it his own. One he’d followed to its end: death.

When he turned back to the sea he rolled his shoulder, shrugging off the weight of Yelena’s hand.

As her footsteps faded the waves crashed in his heart. The sea boiling and frothing, hissing foam. Raging and endless, crashing against the rocks below, swallowing them and spitting them back out with each retreating swell.

The mist thrown from the rocks pricked his ash-red eyes.

His vision blurred as he looked out over the dark waters.

Whose color was impossible to see as his throat closed and swallowed.

As he blinked salt from his eyes.

The expanse ahead no longer blue.

Only dark.


	46. Clearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Calm, schmoopy camping.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

Waking to the sounds of the forest felt different. No alarm jolting Levi from the sleep that had finally claimed him mere hours before, no rush. Only a gradual lightening, the occasional drip of water falling with a  _plip_  on the taught fabric of the tent, and the calls of birds rising and falling. Like the trees themselves were breathing, waking and shrugging sleep from their long limbs.

Levi stretched, his shoulder stiff from where it pressed down, cushioned from the ground by only a thin foam pad. His joints popped and cracked, slotting back into place as he bent and rolled them, his body assembling from it’s parts. The movement was controlled- careful not to make too much noise, careful not to disturb the soft snores of his companion.

In the early light, tinted blue from the tent, Erwin’s face was calm. Lines having fallen from his brow, he looked younger than his years. Mouth barely open, he smiled the secret smile of sleep and dreams. A bare shoulder exposed where he’d pushed the sleeping bag down, the glimpse of skin made Levi warm at the memory of their fumbled lovemaking the night before. All cramped space and bad angles as they awkwardly groped in the dark, tiny tent. Kisses landing wherever they would, hands making up for the lack of light. Their points of contact hurried and sloppy, but pure and true, leaving them satisfied in a sweaty, honest way.

Levi moved his weight slowly, unzipping the tent silently and grabbing the first piece of clothing he saw to wear with his shorts. Outside, he tugged the sweatshirt over his head with a shiver in the cool morning air, unsurprised when it came down almost to his knees and flopped over his hands. He dug in the dry bag they’d hung from a branch the night before, retrieving the essentials: a small gas stove, mugs, tea.

It was too early to want a fire. Not when he could sit, steaming mug finally in hand, and just be.

The forest woke around him. Wet morning chill lifting as the trees materialized around, fog rising and burning off as the ceiling of green lightened. Dew dripped from the needles of the pines, a comforting tap on the tent, a shake of a branch sending down a quick stuccato shower as a squirrel ran across it.

He pushed the sleeves of Erwin’s sweatshirt up, settling in to enjoying his tea. Gathering himself slowly, at the pace of the earth. Breathing cool, fragrant air, smelling the damp needles on the ground and the mist rising from leaves. Letting the growing chatter of birds draw his attention as he sipped and sat. As he drifted, snuggling into the sweatshirt and enjoying its gentle musk.

Calm, knowing that Erwin would soon wake and join him- or that he could always steal back into the tent and rouse the man in other ways.

Serene, feeling the deep breaths of the forest in its scents, its sighs in the trees, its morning routine as the fog lifted and dawn unfurled around him.

Content, as he began the day- eyes open, heart full.


	47. Framed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonverse, angst-ish.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

That insufferably calm look- nothing but calculating coolness, an all-too-reasonable tone. It grew more frustrating by the moment as Levi’s concerns were dismissed, his questions skillfully danced around, his every attempt to spar with words parried by Erwin’s expert logic. Or madness.

The rage that built behind his eyes released in a shot, sending his fist hurtling into the wall of Erwin’s private chamber.

Not into the wall.

Through the wall.

The sickening crack filled the quiet room. Deafening. Wood splintered. Plaster cracked. Pain laced up his arm to lock his teeth together.

The burning and ache immediately brought Levi back to himself.

Anger chased with shame.

He looked away from Erwin’s wide eyes, unable to meet the gaze of a man so civil. With a tug and a hiss, he withdrew his fist from the wall, watching as flakes of plaster, their edges flecked in blood, fell to the flagstones. Straightening, he clutched his injured hand to his chest, turning on his heel and leaving without a word. As his steps clicked past Erwin, he muttered something about being back later to clean the mess.

The debris of violence sat in a silent pile by the wall: wood smashed to needles, plaster to dust, drops of blood ground and streaked across the floor by Levi’s boots.  

It was an incident they did not discuss.

When Levi had returned to clean up, Erwin had already taken care of the floor and insisted he not touch the hole. Its edges were too sharp. Dangerous.

Levi believed him then.

But now, after more than a year, he was finding it difficult to continue believing.

The hole remained. The damage was unfixed, untouched even. Except for a single addition- one that made his anger flare fast and his shame douse it faster.

An empty frame hung over the hole.

Highlighting the crude edges, the place where the bones of the wall thrust wildly from the otherwise orderly surface. The mark of his anger highlighted. His shame put on display. Levi tore his gaze from it, cursing inwardly at his own rash behavior. At his lack of control. At his crude nature. At Erwin’s subtle punishment.

The man could be cruel in his own way.

But he could be kind too, as Levi continued to learn.

As their relationship strengthened, became something more substantial than merely duty. Something unspoken, a constant undercurrent flowing below the surface, steady and deep.

Still the hole taunted him, drawing his eyes at inopportune times. Hurried glances between stolen moments with Erwin in his chamber. Staring darkly in the middle of sleepless nights at its dark emptiness filling his mind. In passing, itching and snagging him from the periphery of his vision.  

Erwin was still punishing him. Making him relive that moment, making him hate his past self, making him want to be more and better for the sake of his commander.

One night he sat in thought, amongst tangled sheets heavy with the scent of lovemaking, head propped against Erwin’s shoulder, fingers drawing slow circles in the golden hair of Erwin’s wide thigh.

The hole stared at him, its cheeky frame taunting.

Erwin leaned over, breathing a warm puff into his hair.

“What are you thinking about, Lee?”

“The hole.”

Levi felt the nod against his head. Of course, Erwin had noticed.

“What about it?”

Closing his eyes, Levi let his breath out slowly. “Why didn’t you let me fix it? Why are you still punishing me like this?” The words were tense and their edges sharp. Levi felt their effect, the stiffening of Erwin’s shoulder, the way he pulled back.

“Punishing you? I’m not-” slight confusion gave way to a low tone as he retraced his steps “-Oh, Levi. I didn’t frame it to remind you. I did it to remind me.”

Levi looked over, searching Erwin’s face in the lamplight. The downward turn of his lips, the heaviness of his brows, and the faraway focus of blue eyes spoke to a sorrow Levi had never seen directly before.

“To remind you?” Levi urged, his eyes no longer drawn to the hole in the wall, but fixed firmly to the one in Erwin’s heart.

Nodding, Erwin continued. “Yes. I framed it to remind myself. How can you fight for humanity if you lose sight of what it means to be human yourself? Of what it means to feel?”

When Erwin met Levi’s gaze, the sadness had slipped from his features.

Replaced by eyes that shone with something that filled the hole.

Something Levi dared not name.

Even in the silence of the night.


	48. Dick Crusher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written in response to an Anon who said, "I just wanted to tell you that Dick Crusher is a legitimate name. No context or reason. I just feel happier knowing I've told you." Thank you, inspiring Anon.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

“What’s his name?”

Levi looked away from the tank to see that Erwin had wandered up behind him. The man was leaning towards the floor-to-ceiling tank, pointing at a large octopus that had wedged itself into a corner between the glass and a craggy rock. Masses of creamy suckers pressed to the glass, its red and purple limbs winding and curling around itself.

“Her name,” Levi corrected, “that’s a female giant pacific octopus.”

“Sure, the sign says that.” Erwin teased, resting a hand playfully on Levi’s shoulder. A hand that Levi would normally shrug off- public displays of affection made him deeply uncomfortable, especially at work.

But he wasn’t working at the aquarium today, he had the day off from cleaning penguin shit off rocks and was finally on the other side of the glass. No wetsuit, just high and dry enjoying the animals.

“So, what’s her name then?” Erwin persisted.

Levi shifted uncomfortably. This time it wasn’t his husband’s close presence that was bothering him. It was just that the octopus… had an odd name. One he’d prefer not to explain.

“It, uh…” he trailed off, staring hard at the glass, “doesn’t have one? Yet?”

Erwin’s finger stroked idly at his neck, tickling the short hair of his undercut as it meandered over his skin with no particular purpose. “I’m not sure I believe you, Levi,” he said, giving Levi’s shoulder a squeeze and subtly adjusting their positions until Levi was slotted comfortably against his chest and the arm had snaked down to encircle his waist. “I thought every animal here had a name, and I know you wouldn’t forget a detail like that.”

“Fine-” leaning back into Erwin’s broad chest Levi shook his head, enjoying the way it came to settle naturally between Erwin’s pectorals even through the man’s sweater- “it has a name.”

“What is it?”

“Dick Crusher.”

Levi felt and heard the half snort half chuckle Erwin let out in response. He knew Erwin was waiting for him to complete the joke or take the name back- probably thought it was just a sarcastic remark. But, as he continued to look into the tank, continued to feel Erwin’s warm presence pressed to his back, the silence extended.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Erwin finally muttered. “Why would? That’s pretty vulgar. Besides, Richard is a male name. I hope it wasn’t your idea.”

Levi felt his ears get a bit warm. He squirmed, suddenly uncomfortable with Erwin being so close and the man’s arms wrapped around him. Erwin sighed. “It was, wasn’t it?”

“I’ve got a reason,” Levi protested, to which Erwin just laughed and leaned down, nuzzling next to his ear.

“So, what’s your reason, other than that you’ve got a foul mouth that’s always begging for punishment?” Shivering, Levi felt goosebumps form on his neck as Erwin murmured the words low enough so that only he could hear. He swallowed.

“Female octopuses often eat the males after they copulate. If they can catch them. Or sometimes they pull off their mating tentacle. In some species the male will even rip off its own mating tentacle and leave it in the female to avoid being eaten. So, you know, it’s fitting.”

Erwin stiffened, standing up straight and pulling slightly away from Levi at the unexpectedly graphic answer. “Ugh,” he stated, the hint of disgust in the short answer obvious from its guttural quality. His arms fell away from Levi’s waist, leaving both men standing some distance apart.

Levi turned, giving Erwin a lopsided smile. He took hold of the man’s hand, winding their fingers together and tugging until he stood by Levi’s side.

“You asked. Don’t shoot the messenger.” He shook his head, amused by the way Erwin’s suave façade had crumbled so easily. “If it makes you feel any better, I won’t give you any nicknames based on your species-typical mating habits.”

Erwin laughed out loud this time, unable to hold back. When he was done he looked over at Levi, holding his gaze and slowly lifting their intertwined hands until he could place a fleeting kiss on the back of Levi’s.

“Thank you, Lee, I appreciate it.” He smiled, adding with a wink, “But I’ve already thought of a few good ones for you.”


	49. Reoccur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Body Horror!
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

A cough, a rasping saw swipe down his throat stopped as his neck spasmed. A breath, its ragged beginning all that was drawn before creeping dryness cut the will from it. A shudder, as his shoulders hunched and his body bent.

Hands clawing.

Throat clenching.

Bile rising and being forced back down with conscious struggling effort. The air, so thick, so hard to swallow. Just as he managed another breath, Levi’s head reeled and drooped, weighted and troubled.

The sickening dull ache of a tooth knocked loose. Barely clinging. Sucked partway from its socket by his frenzied efforts to pull air into his lungs.

He fell, clutching at his neck and head, trying to cradle the hollowness from his jaw and his heaving chest. Pain shooting sharp through his knees as when hit ground. Back curling in. Trying in vain to protect his organs from the invisible enemy he could not fight.

The one he did not know how to fight.

The one that lurked and waited. Stealing up in moments of doubt. Lurching from the shadows only when he was alone.

The enemy that he held inside. That made him choke. That made him ache.

That took a tall form. A form he knew all too well, conjured to cut the deepest, to twist the knife in his guts as they roiled in agony.

The one made of words he’d held in and bitten back. Of confessions he’d never made. Of excuses and reasons and well-meaning diversions.

Of every single word left unsaid.

To Erwin. For Erwin.

They poisoned his bones, turning them paper-thin, translucent. Making them weak. Making his teeth rot in his jaw and his chest heave with the effort of pushing breath from corrupted lungs.

And they fell as he fell.

Lying, gasping on the ground. Body shaking. As the teeth came loose and filled his mouth.

Teeth.

So many teeth.

As they poured from his mouth, Levi could not even begin to count them.

One for every word he regretted. Every word he’d made silent. Every word he could no longer keep locked within, spilling ivory and blood on the cold dead earth as he choked on them.

* * *

 

Snapping from the dream, Levi awoke with a start. 

His fingers wrapped tight around his throat. 

His cheeks wet with tears.

Mouth open, words only half-said.


	50. Thé

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonverse grief and angst.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com/) if you care about such things.

An unassuming tin on Erwin’s bookshelf was always full of it: the tea Levi remembered as he lifted off the metal lid and looked at the small collection of curled black leaves at its bottom.

They drank it together. After dinner or a mission, in the middle of long nights spent poring over maps and paperwork, early in the morning for a pick-me-up before stuffy formal events. Occasions made special by their infrequency, carved smooth from the rough endless work. Times when they could relax.

Their conversations would fill the Commander’s office, sometimes his small private chamber. Low, familiar tones as they traded words. No bartering of syllables, no haggling of sharp consonants. It was an even exchange, sentiments and thoughts given freely. And the things that passed between the words, the ones left unsaid or spoken only with silent brows and the quirk of a lip, those were the most memorable.

Closing his eyes, Levi breathed in the scent of the leaves. It had faded, clinging weakly to the metal and slowly dimming from the leaves themselves. But his mind filled in the blanks- lavender and vanilla, a light hint of calendula that brightened the malty body of the dark tea. It was a smell he found calming. Calming, as it reminded him of the presence it had meant.

Once again, Levi wondered where Erwin got this tea. A luxury among luxuries, it was fit for the finest courtiers, and the tin had always been full. Erwin always shared it with him. And no one else. A crude thug from the Underground, sipping fancy ladies’ tea, playing house with the Commander. That’s what the old him would have said.

Now, he knew they hadn’t been playing.

His chest was heavy with the weight.

Giving the metal box a shake, hearing the dry rustle of what remained of the tea leaves, Levi thought about making a cup. It wasn’t the same, especially as years passed and the tea’s flavor faded, flattening and losing color the same way his memories had.

He’d done it before, he had drunk a cup when he needed to. When he needed to be reminded, to lose his senses in the past, to seek comfort in something he couldn’t find elsewhere. It wasn’t a lie that he needed to now, but-

But he knew it would no longer bring comfort. He knew it would only make him struggle for breath. He knew it would pull out every painful stitch he’d sewn himself back together with.

He knew it would make him break.

And there was so little tea left.

Only enough for two cups.

Two cups he was saving.

One for him.

One for Erwin.


	51. Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonverse, inspired by an Anon and Season 3 ep 4.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

Looking down at the wretched man on the ground before him, Levi was struck by what a disgusting sight he truly was. Lank, dark hair, a craggy face made uglier by its permanent look of dissatisfaction, the teeth that had already been knocked out were almost an improvement. At least now he had an excuse for being so unpleasant.

Levi almost pitied him.

Almost.

But he couldn’t, not really.

Not anymore.

That part of him was cold. It did not stir as he interrogated the man. No pity, no shame, Levi felt nothing as the man spat insults, his tone haughty and self-righteous. Just like every other pig Levi had ever seen, so convinced of their own importance.

So blind to reality.

The man scoffed, still trying to carry on a charade of power, and Levi felt his disgust mounting. It rose like bile, acid and rank, as the man before him grew uglier. As the words that dripped from his half-ruined mouth poisoned Levi’s ears. As he spoke of things he could never hope to understand.

Levi thought he could take it. He thought he’d grown stronger than this, but the man’s mouth formed syllables he had not expected to hear.

_Erwin Smith_.

A name that didn’t deserve to be sullied by this man’s lips, didn’t deserve to be mangled by his swollen tongue and lisped out in a dark slick between gaping spaces where teeth once were.

A name that deserved so much more.

And Levi would do anything in his power to protect it.

The dam within broke. Anger flooded Levi’s ears, a chilling rage that sharpened his senses, lending him unholy strength. Pinning the man to the tree, twisting his arm behind his back until its resistance failed- a sickening snap of bone accompanied the motion. Satisfying. Disgusting.

After that he heard little but pleading fear. The man’s words were nothing but a desperate buzz, the fading drone of a wounded insect.

They rolled off: insane, evil, monster.

They were not so bad.

Not when Levi had chosen to become them.

Not when he called himself much worse.


	52. Exquisite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Erwin week 2018, day 4, prompt "Hands". Pink suits. Smut. NSFW.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

It was supposed to be a day full of joy- to celebrate the love of friends, but all Erwin felt was overwhelmingly horny.

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, trying not to stare at the man sitting next to him, the picture of ease and nonchalance. Levi looked out onto the dance-floor, grey eyes hooded and bored, leaning back with his legs crossed. One hand rested on the bright pink fabric of his suit trousers, laid casually on his thigh.

One hand encased in tight, thin leather.

Black half-gloves that hugged the outline of long, delicate fingers.

Gloves that left pale wrists bare, an elegant curve defining each fragile joint.

Such a small hand.

Its presence immense: suffocating.

Erwin shivered- he knew exactly what that hand felt like on his body. Imagining it wrapped around his cock wasn’t helping.

He wasn’t supposed to be this horny at a wedding. He was supposed to eat, and dance, and not think about pulling Levi’s sinfully tight gloves off with his teeth. He was supposed to congratulate Hanji and Moblit instead of envisioning that skinny pink tie wrapped around Levi’s wrists, holding how down.

Levi’s fingers tapped on the field on pink, blackest shadow outlined and glaring. Not with nervousness, they beat an inaudible rhythm. One that soaked into Erwin’s bones, that he gulped down with starved eyes, that his heart matched without meaning. Inevitable in their pull.

Unthinkable in what they did to him.

Grey eyes turned from watching the dance floor to glance down at the plate, and Erwin’s followed. A square of cake was plucked with the utmost of care from white china, two fingers barely keeping it from falling. Two fingers covered in black, the dull shine of leather stark against the pale pink dessert. The square hovered, anticipation rising in Erwin’s chest as it approached Levi’s mouth. As thin lips parted, and the cake moved ever so slowly.

Levi’s mouth opened, and Erwin’s groin ached.

There was no way the square of cake would fit. He hadn’t opened his mouth nearly enough.

And yet.

Levi had never had any trouble before.

Even with things that were plenty bigger.

Two fingers pressed the cake between Levi’s lips, the way it dragged on them making the muscles in Erwin’s thighs clench.

Looking up from the plate, Levi’s calm eyes met Erwin’s.

He was caught.

The flash of panic was impossible to suppress.

But it felt good too, a thrill that only grew as the corner of Levi’s mouth turned up and he chewed the cake slowly, his fingers still in the air before his mouth. The treat finished, he swallowed, the slight bob of his Adam’s apple almost making Erwin break their eye contact.

But he didn’t.

Levi’s gloved fingers came up, closer until they grazed his lips, a bit of frosting left on their tips. He licked it off, the fingers into his mouth. One at a time. Not breaking his dark stare.

Not blinking.

Still hungry.

Erwin let out a weak groan, and felt his resolve flee with it.

Before he could think they were out in the hall, who had left the table first didn’t matter. Everyone was busy dancing, drinking- but they had other business. Business that could be fulfilled only once Erwin found his back pressed against the wall down a dim hall he hoped no one would find. Not that it mattered either. Nothing mattered more than Levi kneeling between his legs, tugging his belt open, his black shirt and pink vest already pushed up and out of the way while Levi nipped and sucked at his abdomen.

The cool of the air-conditioned hallway hit Erwin as his pants and underwear were pushed down, reddened cock bouncing free. Levi smirked up at him, making Erwin groan again- seeing the mischief in Levi’s now-dark eyes.

One small hand traced up from his knee, its touch burning a path even through the loose bunched fabric. It hit skin, the tickling lines drawn through blonde hair up to the sensitive skin of Erwin’s inner thigh already lightening straight to his groin. Fingers moving, a shadow of black nothing eating up the field of skin before them. They reached the top of his thigh, stroking lazily where his leg ended, the sensitive hollow so close, but so far from his throbbing cock.

Levi’s fingers circled closer, brushing over his balls, making the skin there tighten in response. Pleased with the response, they paused, passing behind to cup them for a moment, squeezing until the pressure made Erwin’s head fall back and his throat open to pull in air he’d been denying himself. Finally remembering to breath, prompted by the clarity of pain.

Levi’s grip eased and slid up, long fingers wrapping around the base of his cock. Erwin’s hips pressed forward, only to be pushed back hard by Levi’s other hand on his hip.

“Don’t move,” Levi whispered, “You wanted this, now take it.”

Erwin couldn’t deny it. He didn’t dare. Not with Levi’s hand stroking slowly up and down his heated length. Not with the tug and slip as thin leather stuck to his overheated skin, building friction until it released, sliding easily only to tug and slip again.

He might not be able to move, but Erwin was able to watch. So small, Levi’s hands always looked so small. Especially on his body, their boundaries clearly marked by the dark gloves, the little fist clenched around his cock as it stroked sending waves of greedy heat through him as they wound him tight.

They had to work harder, those thin fingers, to cover the whole length- and work harder they did.

Levi let him watch, forced him to as his head moved, mouth finding the soft skin of Erwin’s thigh where he sucked long deep marks into trembling flesh. The blooming purple ache each place Levi’s mouth had been, and the hard points of his teeth kept Erwin’s eyes wide, his breath ragged, his every nerve alight.

As the motion of Levi’s hand grew quicker, squeezing harder at his base and twisting slightly as it traveled up, Erwin’s hand felt the wall for support. He needed its solid comfort now, as Levi sucked every ounce of strength from his thighs and stroked every drop of reserve from his cock.

Pausing for a moment, and looking up from a fall of dark hair, Levi stared at him. Black eyelashes almost hiding half-open eyes, Erwin bit his lip as he stared back. A single finger felt slowly over the ridge of his cock’s head, smearing silken black through the precum beaded there. Soft but harsh, Levi dragged his palm over the end of Erwin’s cock, leaving shining stickiness in his wake. The hand slid back down, thumb tracing and massaging into the place where the head of his cock met the underside of its shaft, stroking his frenulum. Erwin moaned, knowing anyone could hear and reveling in it.

As Levi’s fist found an even rhythm, one that Erwin knew he wouldn’t outlast for long, he felt the brush of something between the cheeks of his bare ass. With a gasp he realized what it was, the fingers of Levi’s other hand, tracing up from behind his balls to stroke the tightness of his asshole. His hips jerked forward, uncontrolled.

“I fucking told you,” Levi hissed, “Don’t move. We don’t have any fucking lube, and we can’t afford accidents.”

With a whimper, Erwin’s hips stilled. He tried to focus, urging his body still as the pressure between his cheeks increased. The kisses to his thighs returned as Levi switched to the other leg. The lingering, wet strokes on his skin, and the even stroking on his cock eased his body enough to let two small fingers press into him: velvet and cool. The exquisite stretch as they slowly sought deeper only enhanced the heat washing from his groin.

Overwhelmed, tortured by bruising kisses on his thighs, brought to the edge and let hang there as Levi’s hand around his cock took on an unhurried pace even as he grew tighter and hotter, Erwin hung in space and time. The moments stretched, each press and stroke of Levi’s fingers within him magnified as it reverberated, plucking at nerves drawn tight. His cock throbbed, release so close but denied him by the barely-there flutter of Levi’s fingers over it.

Erwin’s throat opened, his head lolled back.

“Please,” he croaked.

Levi’s hand squeezed his cock, sending pleasure shooting through him as a fevered pace renewed. With a final press of fullness stroked forward within him and a twist of Levi’s wrist, Erwin came. Gasping and babbling Levi’s name, jaw tight, his body clenched in waves. Levi’s hand had stilled on his cock, but the fingers inside dragged over his prostate, pushing the air from his lungs as his orgasm burnt roman candles through frayed synapses, overloading all sense until nothing remained. Until he slumped, spent and gasping, relying entirely on the wall to stand.

Levi’s fingers eased from his ass, and Erwin looked down to see grey eyes trained on him, drinking in his every twitch. He smiled weakly, enjoying the sight of his lover kneeling before him.

Exquisite.

Sinful black gloves.

Dotted with stray pearls.

So generous.

So cruel.

Levi knew exactly how to break a man.


	53. Restore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Softly nsfw. Hurt/comfort? Canonverse.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

The first time Erwin comes to Levi, in the dead of night, when the candles have drowned their wicks in tallow, his command is simple. And Levi does not question his orders.

“Punish me.”

He stands in the cold, close space of Levi’s bedchamber. Without embarrassment he strips until his body is as bare as his heart- not a single stitch to cover either. The chill of the rock walls and the drafty old barracks is not kind to him, but he left all dignity on the battlefield. Presenting himself, the dull, cold luster of steel sweeps over him, Levi’s wordless stare taking in every feature.

“Levi-”

The other man holds up a hand that stops him. When Levi points to the narrow bed, it is Erwin’s turn to obey. He lies down on his stomach, and waits. He waits as the rustle of fabric signals that Levi has removed his nightclothes. He waits as skin-silent steps on the flagstones approach. He waits for the sting of a blow, the rough grip of a hand, the harsh barked tone he’s heard from Levi that shows his anger.

He waits until he wonders if this is the punishment itself, if Levi is just going to leave him there, naked and prone.

But, as he waits, none of his fears arrive.

Nothing he had thought he requested: pain, humiliation, none of it follows.

Instead small, sure hands run over his back. Fingers rub the tension from his muscles, knuckles roll it from the lines of his spine to be carried away- flowing from him and dissipating harmless in the dark. A fluttering touch of warmth joins them, each place Levi’s lips touch glowing to life. At a pace slower than Erwin could begin to imagine, he finds himself relaxing, the weight slipping from his mind as it leaves his body. Until he is empty, limp, shaped only by Levi’s hands and mouth, his boundaries uncertain where not defined by another.

And Levi does not stop. Even when Erwin has disappeared, when the guilt and worry that define him have fled from even the deepest pits of his chest and slipped from the farthest reaches of his mind, leaving him blank. Leaving him free.

Levi does not stop. Instead, he builds him anew. With hands that stroke warmth into his back and thighs, that ease his legs open. With quiet, simple words spoken into his yielding muscles, each planted with thought and care so it may flourish and grow. With the honesty of bodies, awakening to each other, responding as Levi tugs Erwin hard and presses himself between Erwin’s thighs.

He responds to the uncomplicated worship he never knew Levi was capable of. Meaning instilled with each whispered word, each measured thrust. Until their bodies, such different shapes, meld close. And Erwin thinks nothing, only feels. The uncomplicated joy of skin on skin, a singing in his nerves whose melody he’d forgotten. Heavy breaths drive the cold from the night.

And though Erwin’s body takes and takes whatever Levi can afford, Levi does not stop giving.

He fills the empty spaces left by pain until they are gone.

Patched with care.

Sealed with love.


	54. Danny DeVito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For an Anon who asserted that Levi is not a twink, that he is more like Danny DeVito.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

Levi looked into the mirror and frowned- there was someone else staring back at him.

Someone with much wider eyes- enhanced by strokes of dark black liner emphasized at the outer corners by a strategically-placed swipe of red.

Someone with a much sharper nose- contoured subtly at its sides to look graceful and straight, to smooth the small bump where it had been broken years ago in a fight with his uncle.

Someone who moisturized and look good in the latest hairstyles, who showed up to photo-shoots in the Seychelles and spent the weekend avoiding the sun, who always knew how to walk, to stand, to turn just so in front of the camera.

It wasn’t anyone he was familiar with.

He grabbed a washcloth and started removing the makeup, slipping into the shower once the white cloth had turned to a smudged black and pink mess. The steam loosened his muscles, stiff from holding whatever absurd pose the photographer had insisted on. The beat of hot water on his skin and the shower’s floor wiping his thoughts clean with its soothing repetition.

“I’m tired of this,” he stated, slouching into the living room and flopping down on the couch beside Erwin. The blonde looked up from his book, removing a pair of often-hidden reading glasses to pull Levi onto his lap.

“Of what?” Erwin didn’t need to ask, but he did anyway.

“You know. Of  _this_ ,” Levi repeated, gesturing vaguely. “Of work, of travel, of standing in front of a camera and pretending I give a shit about how I look.”

“Well, you’re very good at it.”

“But I’m tired of it. I’m tired of everything.”

“You’re not tired of me, I hope,” Erwin chuckled, followed by a mock-surprised expression when Levi shot him a small glare.

“No,” Levi admitted, “Of course I’m not tired of you, you’re probably the only thing keeping me sane at this point. I’m just tired of this role, of being trotted around and poked and put in weird tiny little outfits and girl’s makeup. I’m tired of being set up like some teenage twink. I’m past thirty, Erwin, it’s…”

Erwin raised an eyebrow. “It’s better than being relegated to department store catalogue dad. If I have to put on one more polo with pastel shorts and pose with my perfect American family complete with 2.5 children and golden retriever I’m going to vomit.”

Levi looked over slyly. “I thought you liked that family shit.”

“I do,” Erwin stated, “I just don’t want it with some pretend family. You’re my family.”

“Well, we’re both tired of it. I’m no twink, and you’re a far cry from dad-bod.”

“Agreed.” Erwin smiled, placing a light peck on Levi’s chin. “We’re not some KPop heartthrob and the Brawny Man. We’re more like… Danny DeVito and George Cloon-”

“What the fuck?!”

Levi reared back, pushing away from Erwin and almost falling from his lap. He flailed for a second, arms scrabbling to finally hold onto Erwin’s shoulders. After regaining his balance, he crossed his legs, grey eyes turning thinner and sharper as he gave Erwin a death stare.

“Danny DeVito?” He spat, eyes narrowed. “I’m not fucking Danny DeVito! And why the hell do you get to be George Clooney? That’s not fair.” Crossing his arms, Levi scowled and turned away.

With a good-natured chuckle, Erwin tried to ease him, running his hands over the soft fabric of Levi’s shorts and stroking up the warm, still-damp skin of his back. “Hey, it’s fine. You don’t have to be Danny DeVito. There just… aren’t that many…”

“Don’t say it,” Levi warned.

“I mean, when I’m picking famous people of your…”

“Don’t,” Levi’s voice had gone cold.

“Well, it’s just that it’s hard to compare you to other people since you’re so…”

Levi whipped back to face him, daring him to continue.

“…perfect,” Erwin finished, grinning when Levi groaned and rolled his eyes again.

The corny finish did the trick though, and Levi turned back to face him, unfolding his crossed and closed limbs until he straddled the man’s lap.

“Perfect, huh?” Levi urged, leaning forward.

Flashing a winning smile, Erwin pulled Levi to him, catching his mouth in a quick kiss that deepened in its passion as Levi’s arms snaked around his neck. Between the soft brush of lips their tongues slid over each other, communicating on a level that both of their bodies understood. When they came apart, Erwin gave Levi’s firm ass a squeeze, thrilling when Levi licked his lips in response.

“That’s right,” Erwin repeated, “Perfect.”


	55. Snapshots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written in response to an Anon who was excited to see smol Levi animated in Season 3 (I was too).
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

“Oh, I’m just so happy you both were able to come visit!” Mrs. Ackerman’s voice trilled from the kitchen behind them, the soft shushing and gentle clink of teacups and shelves accompanying the joyful notes.

“Yeah, well,” Levi answered, still looking flustered from the bone-crushing hug his mother had greeted him with, “you know. Petra and Oluo still live here for some reason. Can’t pass up their invitation.” Erwin scooted closer to his husband on the couch, wrapping an arm around his waist. Despite the obvious ill-ease Levi always slipped into in Kuchel’s tiny home, Erwin found it welcoming, warm, and spotless, if somewhat out of the way.

“Of course not!” Kuchel admonished, the perfectly-timed whistle of the kettle signaling tea and shortbread cookies. The best shortbread cookies, as Erwin remembered- firm, but melt-in-your mouth, and buttery-beyond-belief. “But if it takes a wedding to get you two back out here, then I’ll have to start setting your old friends up! How about Eld? Is he single? Gunther?” With tray in hand, Kuchel entered the room, placing tea and cookies on the coffee table as she sat down next to Levi.

Before anyone could reach for refreshments Kuchel was leaning over Levi eagerly, smiling at Erwin. “Do you know any nice girls? Or boys? I don’t want to assume, but if that’s what it takes, I’d set that Eld Ginn boy up with a tree!”

Erwin chuckled, shaking his head. “No, Mrs. Ackerman, unfortunately I don’t know anyone that’s eligible right now- man, woman, or tree.”

“Oh, poop.” Kuchel frowned prettily, her graceful eyebrows drawing together in a way that made Erwin’s heart clench- just like Levi. “Well I’ll just have to make the most of it while you’re here!” She leaned over, rummaging under the coffee table as Levi sat back into the couch and groaned. A large album emerged, stuffed with more pages than it could hold, the strain clear in the tendons of Kuchel’s thin arms as she pulled it from beneath the table and offered it to Erwin. “Let’s start with this. What good is having your son and his handsome husband over for the weekend if you can’t embarrass him a little?” The cheeky wink that followed the statement made Erwin grin even harder- he’d been looking forward to this almost as much as the shortbread: Ackerman family photos.

They came out every time he’d visited, and though Levi had gotten less red and huffy with each occurrence, it hadn’t lost its charm yet. The arms still crossed instantly, lines between thin brows growing deeper as Levi tried to fold himself into the couch. Erwin took the album, opening it over both his and Levi’s lap, letting it fall to whatever page it would, secrets and hints at distant pasts spilling out.

Levi in a soccer uniform, his knees and high socks covered in grass and mud stains, scowling at the camera. “Oh, he was so good at soccer,” his mother breathed, tracing the curve of young Levi’s face with a thin, small finger. “Though I couldn’t go to many games, I was too sick then.” Her nail lingered, the fine lines at the edges of her eyes showing for a moment as she blinked quickly.

“Who took the photo?” Erwin asked.

“Probably Kenny.” Kuchel leaned in, studying the frown child-Levi was making in the photo. “Definitely Kenny. That face.” She smiled, barely a quirk of thin lips. Erwin’s breath caught- like mother, like son.

Turning the page, Erwin found more photos. There was no order to the album, something he’d always loved. Each page unpredictable in its timeline, a mystery unfolding through mere glimpses and literal snapshots. All strung together in a haphazard smattering, the good right next to the bad. It was a precious thing; the most honest book Erwin had ever seen.

Levi didn’t talk about his childhood, and Erwin had gathered through overheard shouting matches with his uncle and hushed conversations with doctors over his mother’s health that it hadn’t been the easiest. Still, looking at a surprisingly chubby-cheeked baby-Levi swaddled in a blue blanket in Kuchel’s arms as she gave the camera a weak but genuine smile, Erwin knew it had been full of love.

“I look awful there,” Kuchel murmured.

“You look fine, Mom.”

The quiet words surprised Erwin, and he turned to see that Levi was looking at the photos too. Grey eyes trained on his mother, she looked so young in the baby photo. Erwin wondered if Levi saw himself in her- he always had. Their similar complexions and small statures were obvious, but the mannerisms they shared gave the likeness dimension. To Erwin it was charming and incredibly endearing, but it was difficult to read Levi in situations like this- impossible to know what memories the photos dredged up from hidden depths.

Erwin noticed the tightness in Levi’s leg next to his, how Levi’s lower lip pinched in- he was biting it. Reaching beneath the album, Erwin’s hand sought between them until it came to rest on Levi’s thigh, giving a small squeeze as he turned the page again.

A family photo this time- everyone dressed in what looked like a slightly-ragged Sunday best. Levi was probably in middle school, grown enough that his rumpled grey slacks didn’t quite cover bare ankles. Hair parted and slicked to within an inch of its life, he stared straight at the camera, expressionless. Kuchel stood behind him, wearing a simple dress, barely taller than her son even at his young age. Uncle Kenny towered over them both, frowning and dark, his face not quite as lined or leathery as Erwin remembered, but still craggy. There was another person in the photo, a very old man Erwin did not recognize.

“That’s Grandpa Ackerman. Levi’s great-grandfather,” she said, pointing out the elderly man. “And Kenny. You know him.” She sighed, the only hint at displeasure Erwin had ever seen her give in to. “Levi was so skinny as a child, you’d hardly know he nearly ate me out of house and home.” She picked up the plate of cookies from the tray, offering them in an amusing contrast. Erwin took two before she placed them back on the table. “He didn’t grow any of these muscles until high school- thank god he at least got the Ackerman strength, even if he got stuck with my height.” She emphasized her point with a sharp poke to Levi’s abdomen.

“Thanks, Mom,” Levi deadpanned, clearly unamused.

“Well, Mrs. Ackerman, I’m glad he did.”

“Did what?” she asked.

“Get your height. It suits him,” Erwin added.

Kuchel beamed. “Doesn’t it?”

Erwin could almost feel the sheer force of will Levi exerted to not roll his eyes as the man stared blankly down at the book before them. Suppressing a chuckle, Erwin waited for his husband’s mood to thaw while Kuchel ignored it- paging absently through the book. School photos, candid shots with friends, a glimpse of what might have been a high school dance with friends, and group pictures taken at holidays. They contained no vacations, nothing staged by a professional, and few family members appearing besides Kuchel and Kenny.

It didn’t matter, these were special moments, nonetheless- the shining gems of Levi’s rare smile, a tiny family looking happy and whole, friends who brought them joy. As the pages slipped by the years did too, and Erwin saw it mirrored in the subtlest changes on Kuchel and Levi’s faces.

They fell quiet. Looking. And seeing.

After a few moments Mrs. Ackerman took a deep breath and stood. “It’s getting late. You always get here so late,” she added. “Now, off the couch, you two, I can’t very well sleep on it before wiping up those cookie crumbs.”

They stood, Erwin becoming more sheepish as he realized how many more cookies he’d snuck while looking at the photos. There was only one left on the plate. “Mom, you don’t have to be on the couch,” Levi stated, “We can sleep in the living room.”

“Nonsense!” She waved them away, almost pushing them in the direction of the tiny hall. “You’re guests and I won’t have anyone saying I don’t know how to treat guests!”

With minimal grumbling they gave in, Erwin secretly relieved that he wouldn’t have to try to fit himself onto the small couch for the night.

After showers, on clean sheets under warm blankets, Erwin pulled Levi close. It was a necessity on the bed barely large enough for two, but it felt like a luxury when Levi didn’t protest.

“How does it feel to be home?” Erwin whispered, nosing at the damp hair behind Levi’s ear.

“Don’t be silly.” Came the reply.

Erwin hummed a question, pulling the blankets higher as Levi’s feet wormed between his legs. Wrapped up in each other, the quiet dark of the countryside outdoors fell over them like a curtain of calm. He breathed deep, savoring the smell of shampoo and scrubbed-clean skin. The words Levi spoke echoed in his marrow as they were muttered sleepily into the cocoon of warmth-

“This isn’t my home. You are.”


	56. Dick Crusher (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friend sent me an article with some surprising octopus facts. In order to spread the word I wrote this.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

“Hanji?” Levi looked behind him, hoping to catch a glimpse of glasses or mousy brown hair bobbing somewhere around the room crowded with tanks and equipment, with no luck.

“Friendly little critter, isn’t he?” The end of a long tentacle waved idly in the water, brushing Erwin’s fingers where he fluttered them near its surface. Slim and whippy, the end of the octopus’ limb snaked over Erwin’s fingers and wrapped around his wrist.

“That one’s a she, Erwin. We’ve been through this before.” Staring into the tank, one arm submerged to his elbow and held there firmly by two long, muscular tentacles, Levi sighed. Hanji had said they needed help moving the aquarium ‘specimens’ this weekend, but Levi had been hoping they’d meant something smaller.

“Dick Crusher?” At Erwin’s question, Levi gave a curt nod. He tugged his arm, frowning when the octopus’ limbs only wrapped tighter.  _I should have known better_ he thought to himself, cursing his haste in getting this job done for Hanji. But he didn’t exactly appreciate being called in on the weekend either, especially when he’d had date plans. Now he’d dragged Erwin into the fishy-smelling back rooms of the aquarium and- his arm jerked. With a slippery squeeze it was dragged further into the tank, closer to the octopus’ head. “Hey there,” Erwin chuckled, “looks like she likes you, Levi.”

“This isn’t funny,” Levi grumbled. The tentacles wrapped around his arm were squeezing in tandem now, their thin ends reaching up and out of the water as they pulled him forward. He reached in, trying to peel the suckers away, wincing as they came free to reveal perfectly round pink and red blotches on his skin. They kept flailing, avoiding his hand, or re-attaching as soon as he tried to pry off the next section. Waving, taunting him, as their mucous-slick surface flexed and slid from his grasp.

“It looks pretty funny from here on dry land.” The amusement in Erwin’s voice was unmistakable. Levi held back and eyeroll and grumbled something unintelligible, trying to jerk his arm out and getting his other hand submerged in the process. It only took seconds for Dick Crusher to wrap another tentacle around his hand, leaving him frustrated and stuck. Standing behind him, Erwin leaned over, folding himself over Levi’s back until his chin rested on Levi’s head.

It would have been sweet if Levi hadn’t been leaning over the huge aquarium tank, but when Erwin’s arms snaked around his waist and pulled him close he felt the opposite of comforted. He rolled his shoulders, trying to rid himself of Erwin’s weight and tugged at his wrists in the chilly tank water. Erwin leaned down, breathing warm in his ear, and Levi tensed. The wall of Erwin’s large body behind him, and his arms held fast in the tank in front of him, there wasn’t much left to do. He could probably pull away from the octopus, but they sure as shit didn’t pay him enough to risk harming the creature.

Instead, Levi let out a long breath and relaxed.

“That’s better.” Erwin crooned, one large hand stroking him abdomen through the thin, water-spattered t-shirt. He felt and heard it at the same time- Erwin’s tongue pressing into the shell of his ear, making him squirm and gasp at its suddenness. Fingers gripped him tight, Erwin’s hips pressing against his back as the man nipped and licked at his earlobe. Warm puffs of breath tickled his neck, and Erwin’s kisses grew sloppier, all sense of decorum discarded.

It was an awkward position, but Levi let himself relax. It had been a long time since they’d fooled around anywhere as exciting as this, and the fact that he genuinely couldn’t get his arms out of the tank was becoming less and less alarming. He leaned back, turning his head and opening his mouth easily when Erwin kissed him. The kiss was deep, immediately possessive in a way that made Levi’s chest heat even as he felt himself tugged gently down and forward, the octopus dragging him further under the water. One of Erwin’s hands crept up under his t-shirt, stroking the sensitive skin above his belt, and Levi pressed his ass back to feel Erwin’s solid thighs behind him. “Much better,” Erwin spoke between kisses, low words that Levi devoured.

He felt a telltale squeeze on his ass and moaned against Erwin’s mouth. His restraints no longer felt like an annoyance or a problem at all, and he was beginning to enjoy the way Erwin’s greedy hands were free to touch him. As he closed his eyes and ground his hips into Erwin’s front, thrilling when he felt the bulge of Erwin’s arousal against his back-

“Erwin! What? Are you two drinking tank water?”

Levi jerked back, wincing when he stepped down on Erwin’s foot and heard a sharp intake of breath. Straightening immediately, Erwin stepped away, turning to face Hanji.

“What do you mean?”

Hanji rushed over, pointing at the tank. “I’m doing an experiment. Did you know that octopuses become much more tactile and sociable when fed MDMA?”

Both Erwin and Levi stared dumbly at Hanji. They blinked.

“Excuse me?”-

“What?”-

They spoke in unison.

“MDMA. Ecstasy. I gave it to Dick Crusher and now she’s way too friendly.” Reaching into the tank Hanji yanked the suckers from Levi’s arms, making quick work of freeing them. “So, I wondered if you drank any of the tank water, since your behavior seems pretty typical of humans on MDMA and I dosed the tank with it.” As Levi pulled his arms, clammy and red-ringed, from the tank he shook his head.

“No, I’d never drink tank water. What the hell, Hanji?”

With a grin, Hanji walked around the tank. “Alright then, let’s get this big girl moved! Good thing you brought Erwin, with an octopus you can always use…” Hanji stopped talking and Levi sighed. He knew what was coming and it wasn’t good. He braced himself. “…another pair of ARMS!” Hanji shouted, hooting at their own joke as Erwin chuckled.

“I hate you both,” Levi muttered, resigning himself to burning embarrassment and an afternoon of slopping fish water over himself.


	57. True North

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonverse. Grief.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

The medals, the fanfare and celebration, the collective breath that the inhabitants of Paradis finally let out when the last titan’s body faded from the island in a puff of smoke- none of it felt like a satisfying end for Levi.

It was praise he didn’t want, attention he despised, and it all felt empty and cheap in the face of what he’d sacrificed. The ocean did not cast the same spell on him that he saw in the young soldiers, and the mysteries of the world beyond did not stir curiosity or eagerness. Instead, dread slumped toward him, clutching at the hem of his cloak as he kept moving, evading long pale fingers and the smell of death.

It drove him on, though this motive shared none of the fulfillment his loyalty had. It was about always staying just one step ahead, about evading the sightless grip of despair. It was not about advancing. It was about fleeing.

So Levi fled.

Hanji did not think to stop him when he requested the time, no one questioned him on his way from the barracks, not a single person even tried to prevent him from saddling his horse and riding away.

It didn’t matter which direction he went when he knew not what he sought.

Levi rode north to cold peaks of naked stone that jutted into the clouds. He shivered under their rocky overhangs and built fires on their barren slopes under the clearest darkest skies speckled with silent lights. He crossed through narrow passes and guided his horse on foot through treacherous fields of boulders. He stood on craggy ledges, staring down into valleys that stretched impossibly green below, havens of tranquil nestled in the earth’s jaws. From its hidden beauty he gained a little more, and the loneliness dulled.

Levi rode west where the plains flattened and stretched, long plateaus covered in high grasses that waved in unceasing wind. He camped under a single tree, the only one for miles, and wondered at how he could see endless repetition in all directions. The scent of wildflowers and the swish of wind whispered secrets just beyond his reach, as his horse grazed happily. In the open space he thought a little further, and the loneliness dulled.

Levi rode east and found a different kind of coast- one wild and untamed. Salt marshes- full of life yet still in the morning fog as the eerie whoops of strange birds and chortled tones of animals that vanished in a splash greeted him. He waded through knee-deep muck and urged his mount on, muttering words of encouragement as he stroked its flanks. He sighed, alone on a rocky beach, feeling the ice-cold ocean of tears and mist and furious waves soothe the blistered skin on his cracked and aching feet. As the tide pulled away from the land he let a little go, and the loneliness dulled.

And Levi rode south, though territory he’d gotten glimpses of before. Forests of trees, their tops tall beyond belief where they reached ever upwards to the sun. He camped in the woods, the scent of resin and bark reminding him of other camps and other journeys. He rode through hills and valleys, the rhythm of his horse’s hooves familiar yet lonely without the others to sound its echo. When he reached the beach, where he’d first encountered the sea, he looked a little harder.

And he saw.

Nowhere he’d been held the answers to the questions he had. But he was asking all of the wrong ones to begin with.

At his own folly, he felt no dread, no despair, and no sadness. Each place he’d been harbored treasures of its own. Sights and sounds he’d squirreled away, building his horde of memories piece by piece, filling the gaping holes with precious pebbles.

The world was still here, as it would always be.

It waited for no man. It needed no man.

It showed him its beauty and gave him its gifts, asking nothing in return.

He turned away from it all and rode home.

One day he would be back.

At the edge of the world.

At the final moment.

At the end.

And when that day came, he would not arrive empty handed.

He would bring his stories of the world to tell Erwin.


	58. Mads and Hugh (oh my)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In response to an Anon message saying "Anon who wants Mads Mikkelson to gently caress their face and keep them safe. I also would definitely raw Hugh Dancy"
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

“Erwin, I have something important to ask you.”

“What is it?”- Erwin looked up from his book as Levi sat down next to him on the couch. Arms folded, eyes serious, his partner had already fixed him with an I’m-not-taking-any-excuses-or-shit face that made Erwin run through a quick checklist in his mind. He’d remembered to not put Levi’s favorite jeans in the dryer, the cat had been fed, and he was almost certain that they didn’t have any overdue library books anymore. Unsure what else Levi could possibly be referring to, there was nothing left but to wait for the question to come.

“Now, this is serious, so I want you to think about your answer.”

“Okay…” Erwin ventured, placing his book carefully on the coffee table and removing his glasses, readying himself.

“If you had a free pass to fuck any celebrity in the world, who would you choose?” Grey eyes bored into his, reassuring him that this was not, in fact, a joke, even as Erwin bit back an awkward chuckle.

“A free pass? What do you mean?”

“I mean what I say. I’d never cheat on you, and I know you wouldn’t cheat on me. But if there was one celebrity you just wouldn’t be able to resist, one person who you could have sex with without it counting as cheating, who would it be?”

Erwin shifted, becoming more uncomfortable by the moment with this line of questioning. “One? What if I…”-

“You can only pick one, you bisexual asshole,” Levi interrupted, “Swinging both ways does not mean you get to choose two.”

Erwin frowned. “Levi, that’s not what I meant. What if I don’t want to choose anyone?”

Levi snorted, shaking his head to dismiss such a ridiculous notion. “Choose,” he insisted.

Sighing, Erwin wracked his brain for a suitable answer. He’d really prefer not to choose, it just felt unpleasant, like he wouldn’t be appreciating Levi enough no matter who he picked. If he picked a woman, then Levi might feel inadequate, like he wasn’t able to provide something Erwin desired. If he picked a man, well it would be comparing another man to Levi, and that didn’t feel right either. Besides, Erwin hadn’t exactly been keeping up the Kardashians- it wasn’t easy to even remember a celebrity he found attractive, especially with those cold grey eyes pinning him uncomfortably to the couch. Finally, Erwin blurted out the first thing he could think of.

“Well, maybe, I don’t know? Ryan Gosling?”

“No. Pick again.”

“Pick again? Levi, this isn’t fair-”

“Pick again, Ryan Gosling sucks. He’d be a shitty lay.”

“Fine,” Erwin pouted. He brought a hand up to his chin, rubbing it as he thought more. “Robert Downey, Jr.” This time his answer held more conviction, Erwin felt confident in this choice.

Levi nodded, his coiled stance relaxing a little. “ _That’s_  better,” he stated, “now we’re getting somewhere. But are you sure that’s really the one  _single_  celeb you’d like to get a pass for?”

Somewhat encouraged by Levi’s positive reaction, Erwin felt himself getting more into the spirit of things. One celebrity he’d like to have sex with? The possibilities were endless, and there were a lot of factors to consider. “Well, I’ve always thought Dwayne Johnson was a fine specimen.”

“Mmmm,” Levi hummed, “Yeah, that’s a slab of meat I wouldn’t say ‘no’ to either. Is he your pick then?”

“What about Hugh Dancy?”

Levi licked his lips. “Oh, I’d raw Hugh Dancy.”

“How about Mads Mikkelsen?” Erwin asked, thinking slyly of the time he’d caught Levi almost drooling over the actor in a trailer.

“Mads Mikkelsen isn’t for fucking. He’s got a kind face. Terrible fashion sense. I want Mads Mikkelsen to caress my cheek and keep me safe. He could do that. It’s the cheekbones.” The utter certainty in Levi’s words shook Erwin a little. He didn’t like thinking about his partner being  _caressed_  by another man. Being fucked?That was bad enough, but  _caressed?_ Unacceptable.

“I don’t think we should play this game any longer,” he stated, their roles reversed as he crossed his arms and fixed Levi with a serious look.

“Oh?” It was Levi’s turn to blink and look anywhere but at Erwin. “I guess it is kind of stupid, isn’t it?” The quietness of his voice was as close as Erwin knew he’d get to apologizing, but seeing the genuine hints of distress in the furrows of Levi’s brow squeezed together by thin eyebrows, and the way he worried his lip between his teeth was very telling. He clearly knew he’d overstepped. Levi looked over, more cautiously this time. “Okay, well, what if we chose together?”

“I don’t think I understand.”

“What if we both chose the same celebrity. Not someone we’d get a pass to have sex with once each. More like, someone who’d be good in a threesome.”

Erwin grinned, hooking an arm around Levi’s waist and pulling him close to kiss him fiercely. It felt good, licking into his mouth, their tongues meeting, reasserting their claims on each other. It felt incredibly good, and somehow the earlier flashes of uncertainty made Erwin’s arousal all the stronger.

Breaking away to let them both breathe, Erwin kissed over the line of Levi’s jaw, up to his ear where he licked at his earlobe, eliciting a sigh from his lover and relishing the accompanying squeeze of Levi’s hands on his shoulder and thigh. It felt very good indeed.

“I like that idea much better,” he growled.


	59. Hold Tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written in response to this lovely headcanon: Levi not-so-secretly loves it when he is in bed with Erwin and Erwin sleeps on top of him but laying farther down so his head is on Levi's chest/shoulder because not only is it warm (Levi's always cold) but it's like a having a live anxiety-reducer blanket.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

As the Titan’s jaws clamped shut- a solitary  _clack_  that shattered the night- Levi’s eyes flew open. Heart trying to escape through his open mouth, the air filling his lungs sharp and ragged, he struggled to rejoin the world of the waking. Threads of the dream hung, lingering fears binding him, spiderwebs clinging out of reach.

A weight pressed down on his chest and across his hips. It was what finally brought him back, its solidness a reality he could grasp. Hands moving down, trembling, unsure whether he was still caught in dreams or nightmares, he spread his fingers over the bulky form pinning him to the bed.

Staring up at the ceiling, still unwilling to close his eyes, his hands built the night from feel alone.

Smooth skin, silky over the curve of Erwin’s shoulders, patches of rough where the straps of the maneuver gear had worn.

The rhythmic flow of warm air over his chest, eased from his Commander’s sleeping form, counting the seconds without numbers or haste.

One exhale marked when his fingers found the prickle of stubble.

Another signaled a human span of time, however long it had taken the pad of his thumb to trace along Erwin’s jaw and up, until his palm was filled with flaxen strands.

Running fingers over Erwin’s back, feeling its curve and pressing into its muscles, Levi found an anchor that held him fast to the narrow bed.

He focused, savoring the warmth where their skin met, the pressure on his ribs and hips, the content shifting of the other man’s body. Here he did not need to fight, or yell, or cry. Here, he could just be.

Safe, with Erwin’s arm around him.

Erwin’s arm- singular.

It had not been a dream, not exactly. To call it a nightmare was more accurate, but still not the entire truth. What haunted Levi when his eyes closed was a memory he’d never seen, one he’d imagined more times than Erwin’s breaths could mark.

Levi looked down. What remained of Erwin’s right arm was slung over his body. With the back of a hand, he stroked down its length. His fingers curled around where it ended, the twisted mass of scar. Still large, still strong, still warm- he cradled it in his hand just as Erwin cradled him.

His heartbeat slowed to match his lover’s. The bed was warm. Erwin was with him. There was nothing more Levi could ask for.

He let himself be led back to the haze of rest, each step further from consciousness accompanied by a shush of air he took from Erwin’s mouth, always following his Commander. In dreams he’d join him soon.

Before sleep claimed him, a disconnected thought swam through his slowing mind.

In a way, they fit together better now. Both bruised and battered to match.

More complimentary than ever before.


	60. Growing Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Schmoopy. Maximum schmoop. Domestic stuff.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

When the first two adoption agencies rejected their applications, it had confused Levi. He’s figured they’d be model applicants. Jobs, a mortgage, they’d even tied the knot a few years ago and wore their rings to prove it. Erwin volunteered for the public library for god’s sake- what more could they be looking for in parents-to-be?

When the third rejection came, after months of being given the run-around, phone conversations that went nowhere over his lunch breaks, and a slow, disheartening drought of communication that left him parched, it was the last straw.

No explanation, no finesse, nothing at all. He’d gotten the call at work, of course. He was supposed to be in a meeting, of course. The ability to choose the exact worst time to contact him was almost uncanny.

Standing in the parking lot, jacket collar pulled up around his neck as the autumn wind whipped at his ears, he’d stood. Face set in a harsh line, he’d listened to the woman with the deceptively kind voice explain that his and Erwin’s application had been rejected. He’d frowned hard at the ground, focusing on the neat rows of tires from the parked cars, willing her to understand just how much this meant to him as he forced the question out between clenched teeth.

“Can you tell me why we were rejected?”

She deflected the question, talking around it, filling the early afternoon with meaningless drivel as his fingers tightened around his phone. Then, something she said stood out.

“We’re just not sure it would be the proper  _environment_  for a child.”

Levi bristled, feeling anger well up in his chest at the words.  _Environment_ \- bullshit. He knew exactly what the woman had really meant as he thanked her stiffly and ended the call.  _Environment_ , so that’s what they were choosing to call it- very politically correct of them. What the woman had meant by  _environment_  was  _two dads_. What she’d meant was  _you’re gay, and disgusting, and unfit to be a parent._   Levi stared out over the parking lot, no longer bothered by the cold wind or the urgency of the meeting he was missing.

He’d be going home early today.

It had been even more difficult to make Erwin understand. After a life full of rejection, the familiar sourness of disappointment was nothing new for Levi. But Erwin had the mixed blessing of having had relationships with women for most of his life- he hadn’t grown up a freak in a small, conservative town. It was heartbreaking to tell Erwin that this thing he wanted so much was probably never going to happen, just because he’d fallen in love with another man.

They’d sat on the couch, holding each other, trying their best not to speak too much, not to let the disappointment and regret out.Trying to keep the moment together and take comfort in each other. They still had each other. Even if it was likely to be all they’d ever have. Levi’s fingers stroked Erwin’s hair, futility pushing it back each time it fell where his head bent forward.

“What did I do?” Erwin murmured.

“Nothing,” Levi whispered, trying to soothe his husband the only way he knew how to.

“What did I do? What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing.” He hated that it made Erwin feel like this. It was the last thing he deserved.

“Why do they hate us?”

Levi sighed. “Because they’re idiots.” It was all he could come up with. The words felt hollow and dead, even as Erwin’s arm tightened around his waist.

“We’ll try again.”

Levi looked over, surprised by the conviction in Erwin’s voice. Head no longer bent, he’d straightened his shoulders and stared intensely at Levi.

“I’ll find an agency with no religious affiliation. We could go through the state and foster instead.”

“You don’t think it will be more of the same? You don’t think they’ll just throw our application out when they see two different last names and two male first ones? Or put it on the bottom of the pile, stringing us along until this happens again?” Levi’s eyes narrowed, his anger flaring.The bottled up emotions of the day flooding from him as his tongue stung with venom. “You think they care that we can easily provide for a child? That we’re involved in our community? That we’re  _good people_? They don’t care one bit.”

Erwin nodded, but his eyes still held their hard determination. “Levi, I still want to make a family with you.”

“So do I but-”

“Then that’s all. That’s it. We’ll figure it out.”

And somehow, Erwin had broken the spell. He’d devoted his nights and weekends to research, combing through the internet, reading about adoption agencies and other people’s experiences. He’d read obscure legal documents. He’d even found a support group for adoptive parents and started going, eager to gain whatever inside information he could.

When they’d met the state’s social worker, Levi had felt a subtle shift. She wasn’t condescending, she asked her questions and listened to their answers, and the overwhelming impression he’d gotten was that she just wanted the best for the foster children and also that she was probably exhausted.

Tentatively, he started to hope.

They met Historia Reiss on their third visit to the social worker. She was pretty, polite, if entirely too silent for a child her age. Erwin worried over her, about the effects such callous treatment by her birth mother may have had on her development, about how she’d adjust to living somewhere unfamiliar. But it was a good kind of worry.

Levi thought she was perfect.

When Historia moved into their home it was a huge celebration. They’d baked a cake and fixed up her room, ready to welcome a little princess into their lives. They’d even invited their friends, and only realized it might be a bit too much stimulation when someone dropped a piece of cake on the floor and Historia burst into inconsolable tears. Erwin had graciously thanked his guests for coming and diffused the situation while Levi hoisted Historia into his arms and took her into her new room, silently letting her sniffle her way through the rest of her crying while he helped her arrange and rearrange the few toys she’d brought with her. Two hours and at least a hundred different placements of her stuffed rabbit and blanket later, she’d calmed down enough to finish a piece of cake and fall asleep on the pillows she’d stuffed into a corner of the closet.

It might not have been the smoothest introduction, but as Erwin brought him a cup of hot tea and peeked lovingly into the closet at their sleeping charge, Levi smiled.

Despite everything, maybe they could be a little family after all.


	61. Meat for Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Members of the 104th spy on Erwin and Levi enjoying a nice dinner in the Commander's office. Mikasa POV.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

It had taken Mikasa longer than usual to water and brush her horse after the expedition. They’d ridden hard for the past two days, and her mare needed more care than usual. Not about to shirk her duties, or let a chance for a moment of peace and quiet go, Mikasa ran the bristled brush over the mare’s chestnut coat, gentle circling motions easing loose hairs from the animal’s flanks. The horse’s coat a dull field of gently-moving bulk in the light of the stables as she worked the dust slowly from it, rubbing over the same spots until they shone burnished copper. She heard the halting tones of someone humming, the semi-musical notes probably coming from Sasha a few stalls over. The scents of hay and earth were a welcome contrast to the blood and sweat of their missions.

“I heard there’s meat tonight.” Connie’s voice reached her ears. It was obvious from his friendly tone that he was speaking with Sasha, and her surprised gasp only confirmed it.

“No way! Meat?”

Mikasa shook her head, ready to ignore their nonsense and focus on the task before her.

“That’s right- meat. You know what else I heard?” Jean’s voice joined the other two.

“What?” Sasha and Connie asked in unison.

“I heard that neither the Commander nor the Captain will be joining us in the mess hall tonight.”

“Not even for meat?!” Sasha’s astonishment made Mikasa hold up a hand to her mouth, stifling a snort.

“Yeah, that’s pretty weird,” Connie added.

“I wonder why they do that…” Sasha mused.

Mikasa sighed, getting tired of being interrupted in her precious few moments of meditation. She hefted the horse’s saddle off the floor and walked from the stall, walking towards the other recruits grouped near Sasha’s horse.

“Maybe they just want to be left alone,” she said, continuing to walk past them on her way to put away the saddle and brush. “I wouldn’t blame them, they both have a lot of responsibility.”

“Come on, aren’t you curious?” Connie trailed after her, hovering around like a gnat while she heaved the saddle onto its metal hanger and stashed her brush with the others.

“No.”

“Not even a little?”

“Not even a little.”

“Well, I am!” Mikasa turned, recognizing Eren’s voice instantly. He bounded over, eager to join their conversation as Armin followed.“What if they’re discussing super-secret strategy? What if they’re telling exciting stories about past missions?”

“And what if they’re just doing paperwork?” Mikasa asked, unamused.

“Then at least we’ll know,” Jean finished. Mikasa sighed. She looked at Armin, hoping he might provide a voice of reason, but he seemed just as interested in the discussion as everyone else.  _Traitor,_  she thought.

~

Their plan wasn’t elaborate, but it didn’t need to be. Apparently it wasn’t exactly a secret that Commander Erwin and Captain Levi took their meal together after every expedition, and with everyone else distracted by the promise of meat for dinner, no one stopped them as they snuck down the halls to the Commander’s office. They crept around the partially-open door, squeezing themselves against the wall to avoid the thin rectangle of light cast on the flagstones. Mikasa could barely believe the two men inside didn’t hear them with all the  _shhhhh_ ’s and giggling coming from their hardly-stealthy group. They crowded around behind the door, leaning over each other to see and hear, peeking around its edge to catch glimpses of whatever was going on inside.

Mikasa hung back, not particularly interested in the entire thing.

“What are they saying?” Connie whispered.

“Something about- tea?” Jean reported. As one of the taller cadets he had a better viewpoint. “Be quiet, I can’t hear.”

“Jean, you can’t order me around you-” Eren’s protests were cut off as Mikasa elbowed him, giving him a look that quieted their noise. In silence, they shuffled around, pushing shoulders and lacing their limbs so that everyone could just see around the door and almost hear the conversation within.

They weren’t doing paperwork, that much was apparent. Seated at a small table to the side of the room, Erwin and Levi were in the midst of enjoying their evening meal. Both men had shed their jackets and the straps of their gear, and Erwin’s bolo hung loose, the top buttons of his shirt open. It was harder to tell since Levi’s back was to them, but Mikasa suspected he’d untied his cravat as well. She’d never seen them look so relaxed, the usually-stern expression on Erwin’s face replaced by something more tired and human as they ate. Their hands rested on the desk, shoulders relaxed, their closeness obvious in every subtle shift of their mannerisms.

Snippets of conversation flowed from the room, but the low tones of their voices were difficult to make out. Listening hard, it was still difficult to figure out what they were saying though the occasional word or phrase reached them through the calm atmosphere of ease. Mikasa blinked in surprise when she finally realized it- Erwin’s language was familiar and personal in a way she’d never heard from him before. None of the stiff formality, his usually-booming voice lowered to a softer register, she thought she’d even heard him use what sounded like-

“Did he just call Levi  _love_?” Connie gasped.

“No, he called him  _Lee_ ,” Jean corrected. “But still, that’s kind of…”

“…familiar,” Armin chose the word carefully, and they all nodded in agreement. It was very familiar, very familiar indeed.

They all leaned closer, Mikasa just as curious as the rest of them now.

The soldiers inside continued their meal as the cadets watched. Mesmerized, they couldn’t tear their eyes from the pair who barely resembled the men they knew. Commander Erwin, sitting across from Captain Levi, eating and talking, even  _chuckling_.They poured each other wine, their conversation becoming lighter and more animated as their meal continued. Levi made a point with his fork, jabbing it into the air as Erwin leaned back in his chair, a real belly-laugh shocking the cadets into further astonishment.

As the bottle of wine emptied, their conversation continued, though the food was long-gone. After the final glasses of wine were poured, they both raised their glasses. Toasting, they drank, and Mikasa saw Erwin’s hand move. From where it lay on the table it edged closer, brushing against Levi’s before it came to rest on top. Expecting Levi to pull away, Mikasa’s eyes widened when she saw his fingers thread into Erwin’s instead, their clasped hands lain casually on the table.

Though there was no more conversation, the tender look in Erwin’s gaze was unmistakable. The way he looked at Levi, brow relaxed, softness easing the stern lines from his face, made it feel like they were intruding on something deeply personal. Looking down in an effort to shake the heat she felt rising to her cheeks, she noticed that their legs had moved closer under the table too, and that Erwin’s other hand rested on Levi’s knee.

“We should go,” Armin murmured, “It feels like we’re interrupting.”

In silent agreement, they all shuffled awkwardly from the office’s door, careful to keep their movements quiet as they snuck back to the mess hall, each avoiding the other’s eyes.

Each pretending they didn’t know exactly what it was they’d seen.


	62. I love you but...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reincarnation AU. Angst. Bittersweet.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

“I love you.”

The words echoed, even in the comfortable quiet of Erwin’s bedroom. Reflected, bouncing around and coming to face Levi from every angle, magnifying from their quiet source as they crashed waves over him. He tried to steady his heart, set thumping more wildly than it had been when they were in the midst of passion. He had heard it correctly- the words from Erwin’s mouth were simple and unmistakable.

Hardly daring to look at his lover’s face, Levi stared up at the ceiling, willing the burst of panic from his veins. They were only words. Just because they made images flash across his mind- shiny boots and the rank smell of human waste, the scarred interruption of a right arm, overwhelming exhaustion and desolation on a lonely rooftop. Just because- they couldn’t harm him here, not now. Their horrors had lessened to a dull ache, one he now felt keenly only when looking at  _his_  Erwin. Despite what he told himself, the words shook him. The ties he’d bound the memories with threatened to come loose, buffeted by the raging echoes that had grown to a hurricane from three small words.

With a halting breath he dared. He looked down at Erwin, unsure what he would see but resolved to face it.

The fact that Erwin merely smiled, blonde hair askew, mingling with a smattering of dark on Levi’s chest, fingers half-curled by his hip, peeled shreds from his heart. Even more painful, he didn’t wait for an answer, didn’t even seem to need one. His weight settled, breath evening to a low cycle while he drifted off under Levi’s watchful gaze. Comfortable, warm, and content, still wrapped in the afterglow of their exertions. The lines of stress and work gone from his face, lips parted ever so slightly against the plane of Levi’s sternum while he slept.

It was a softness he’d never been able to savor in their previous life. As Levi’s fingers found those of Erwin’s right hand and threaded into them, he let Erwin’s presence bleed the fear from him. The steadiness of his body replaced haunting images with ones more human, ones far easier to understand. This was a side of Erwin he wished to cherish, a side he  _did_ cherish. It was what he’d been given a second chance for by some gods whose favor he’d never deserve.

 _I love you but_ , he thought,  _it’s not that easy._

Erwin didn’t remember.

_I love you but if this is a dream I don’t want to wake up._

He would never tell.

_I love you but…_

Erwin had already died once, and it had been at Levi’s hand.

_I love you but…_

Never again.

_I love you but I never stopped._


	63. Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt "light". Softly NSFW.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

“Levi, Levi… Le- uh,” the name poured from Erwin’s mouth, coating his lips as they took the words’ form. The press of tongue on his palette, the moment of teeth on his lower lip, Levi watched, timing the motion of his hips, waiting until the space between consonants to push in, to force the rest of his name from Erwin’s mouth. Head thrown back over the pillow, the hitch in Erwin’s breath, thick tendons in his neck clenching made Levi’s chest ache.

This man, as gold as gold could be, and as perfect too. The tints of arousal and sunburn highlighted his skin, ripened downy fields of flax drawn over his torso and chest, blonde hair a riot spread over the pillow, gold as gold could be in the final daylight hour. Shadows shuddered over his lover’s body, moving with his lungs, sliding into the valleys of muscle, shivering as Levi pushed deeper, engulfed by warmth.

This man, as rare and precious as diamond. Levi knew these moments wouldn’t last forever, knew physical passion was fleeting, knew the sunset would come and turn the amber light to nothing but blue. He leaned down, unable to reach Erwin’s face with his lover stretched majestically below, but happy to touch his forehead to the dip of collarbones. Laying his head there for a moment, he paused to keep hold of himself, of Erwin, hands grasping at every part they could reach to hold it fast and keep it. Cradled by the dip of Erwin’s collar, head rising and falling in time, Levi mouthed the salt from flushed skin. When the shift happened, he’d still be here, Erwin would still be here, and the sun was fooling itself if it thought Levi needed only its burning flame. “Levi,” Erwin murmured, the sound of his name being spoken making it impossible for him to resist a long, deep thrust.

This man- his man.

“Le-” His motion broke the word in half, the second part borne by exhale, “-vi.”

Raising his head from Erwin’s chest, Levi looked up greedily, unwilling to miss a single flash of pleasure that knit Erwin’s brows and tightened the column of his neck, wringing gasps from it as his pace quickened. His own satisfaction dependent on the bliss he saw written in Erwin’s open mouth, the guttural sound his name took on as it turned to uncontrolled repetition, a slur of breath and tongue and lips. He could feel Erwin’s body change- from relaxed and languid with his slow thrusts to tight with quivers. Reaching blindly between them, unable to tear his eyes away, he grasped at Erwin’s cock, stroking quickly as the sun set Erwin’s hair aflame, its rays shining his lover’s glory.

Every motion of his hips was magnified as they moved together. They echoed as Erwin clenched. They rippled shivers of light over muscles and hair. Their passion blazed gold and blue and pounded bliss through Levi’s ears with every broken syllable of his name tumbling from Erwin’s kiss-bitten lips.

They tipped over the edge together. Each crying out, each releasing, each struggling for air and contact and closeness.

Wrapped tight in each other, blazing gold yielding steady blue.


	64. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonverse. Grief. Omg, I write a LOT of this, don't I?
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

Clawing their way from the dirt below to burst forth and strive for toward the sun, the plants of the world Above were one of the first things Levi had noticed. He’d seen a few before, gathered into limp bouquets, their once-proud stems and lush petals already wilting in the fetid air of the Underground. They belonged to the land of open skies and flourished there in shapes and colors that dazzled Levi- carpets of green, waving fields of gold, brown trunks that stretched up endlessly.

But the flowers- the flowers were the most enchanting.

Weeds grew, not caring that their beauty was unwanted, daring to litter small yards with hopeful dashes of yellow and white. Trees shrugged off their sleep in spring, grey limbs shaking out light green tips that fanned into fragrant pale pinks before littering the ground with fluttering rains of petals mere days later. The curated gardens of nobles sat in the capital, hidden behind even more walls, their secrets even more tantalizing. They came in innumerable varieties, used for more purposes than the son of a whore who’d only ever seen the occasional charade of affection could even begin to fathom.

Given to lovers, offered for congratulations, a sign of celebration or a message of grief, they spoke in a way Levi understood- not with words but with presence.

But the Underground was no place for flowers, and his mother had died without them.

Isabel and Farlan too, on a battlefield slicked with mud and pounded by the falling limbs of Titans, the only plants that marked their passing the slow overgrowth of common grass.

His squad, his comrades, his uncle- all battle-fallen, and there was no place or time for flowers.

It had been the same with Erwin.

No one he’d loved had gotten the end they deserved.

But Erwin had a headstone and a grave. Levi had seen to that. So, he brought them, flowers for his mother, flowers for Isabel and Farlan, one for each member of his squad, many for the soldiers they lost and continued to lose. Even for his uncle, Levi brought them- bouquets and single blossoms, bought or plucked from the meadows, arranged however he saw most befitting- however he could bear.

Few visited the grave, and no one commented when he brought frequent offerings for those he had lost.

No one commented when he planted the rosebush, so there would be flowers even when he could no longer bring them.

It was the least that Levi could do for a man who had given him everything.

Erwin deserved flowers.


	65. Record

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canonverse. Grief. NO I'M NOT DONE.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

Quill and ink trapped the anarchy of thoughts, pinned them to the page, forcing order from their dissonance as many flowed into the form of one. Shock, pain, and confusion dismantled, unravelling into straight lines, controlled loops, meticulous strokes.

Levi’s words were not ornate, they were not eloquent, but a soldier’s report to his Commander did not require literary genius. All it required were facts, numbers, times, a faithful accounting of events that stripped them down and picked their bones clean- ebony letters outlining their ivory.

It was a ritual, one he did not cease even when it was no longer required.

One knows not whether the gods are still listening when one prays.

It is the prayer itself that matters.

So he prayed in his own way. The letters he’d re-learned, practiced painstakingly, mastered and perfected until Erwin had no longer had to ask what they said. He prayed with his fingers and his eyes, in thin, tight lines of ink. To the emptiness of the paper before him, to the chaos within him, to only one man who understood him.

At the narrow desk in his stone chamber, Levi wrote. The night pressing in, its endless watchfulness held at bay by the flicker of a single lamp and the scratch of his quill, he wrote. After each mission he sat down to repeat the exercise, to distill emotion, to extract meaning.

The words and structures he’d practiced built a frame, their container familiar, and Levi filled it. He recorded the events of his missions, details of military value, observations of note. Along with the things he’d always included, the things he hadn’t knows were needed until Erwin dubbed them “flavors”.

Even though there was no one left to sample them.

Each report he placed in an envelope. Marking its back in hot wax, his stamp branding it shut, trapping its secrets and prayers. They were filed into his drawers, their neat ranks determined by date: standing at attention for a call that would never come.

When they moved to the new headquarters, Levi began the task of cleaning his desk. Everything found its place in a box or the trash, everything but the reports. Those he brought down the long and winding hall, a direction he hadn’t walked in more than a year, to the office he hadn’t set foot in since the death of his Commander.

The door to Erwin’s office creaked. A thin film of dust lay on the bookshelves. Muted and grey, the life gone from the room that had once been full- of paperwork, late-night tea, plans and maps, ideas wild enough to shock Hanji and conversations full of animated color.

All that remained was a shell, leaking its ghosts and memories.

Levi pulled open the drawers of Erwin’s desk in turn, sneezing as a puff of dust made his eyes squint and water. In the bottom drawer he found them- mission reports. Filed by squad leader, arranged by date, a divider marked his name. He pulled an envelope from it, choosing at random. The paper unfolded, his handwriting unmistakable, he stared at the words and blinked.

His words were there, but there was more.

A looping hand, notes made in the margins, underlines and circles added to what he’d submitted. Intrigued, he pulled out another of his reports, and another still. Erwin’s annotations were erratic, a stream of consciousness, absent in some places and startlingly detailed in others. Fit wherever there was room, they wriggled around the open spaces and threaded through the lines, the odd diagram or drawing squeezed into corners or sketched on their backs. Scrawled over and added to, the letters were marked an worn, as though Erwin had read them many times, as though he’d savored each and every flavor.

Curious, he pulled one of Hanji’s reports, then one of Mike’s. Their handwriting was distinct, their reports complete, yet nothing joined their pages, nothing had been added.

Something tight gripped Levi’s throat, the dust he’d whipped up leaving it dry as he took a seat in Erwin’s chair. The tightness grew, reaching into his chest, setting a vice to his lungs and heart as he reviewed his reports, one at a time, in the order they were filed, in the version he’d never seen.

It was difficult to make out all the notes, to piece together a picture from scraps and hints alone. A window into the thoughts Levi had grown to appreciate and understand, their connections subtle but deep, both reserved and passionate.

It was difficult to keep the past at bay when Erwin’s words remained: vibrant with life, ringing with his voice. They awoke things Levi had thought he’d buried.  Seeing what Erwin saw, reading what he wrote, each mission came and passed anew, each wound ripped fresh, each scar carved deeper.

It was difficult to read, when his eyes pricked and blurred, and when his throat closed.

It was even harder when a single drop fell, smudging ink and crinkling paper.

But there were still messages his Commander had left him, and Levi was still loyal.

He would not miss a single one.

When he finished reading he folded them back up, sliding them into their envelopes, filing them away.

And to their number he added the ones he’d brought.

With their stories and thoughts and prayers.

The ones that Erwin had yet to read.


	66. Office Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a bunch of random stuff that is generally unrelated. Things that ended up on Tumblr, things I wrote in the middle of the night. All Eruri, all different styles, etc. Don't mind me, we're all mad here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quiet canonverse moments. Sweet, tired.
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](https://ladymacbethsspot.tumblr.com) if you care about such things.

Despite the shortening days and lengthening shadows, Erwin burnt the midnight oil with as much stubborn determination as ever. There were strategies to finalize, supplies to order, formations to consider, and endless reports and letters to write and respond to. The mountain of paperwork never seemed to get any smaller, even when Levi sat in his office after long days of training, trying to lend a hand where he could.

At first it had been occasional, Levi would drop by on his way back from the mess hall or after seeing to his horse in the stables. Sometimes he brought bread or a bowl of soup, always somehow knowing when Erwin’s stomach was empty and his thoughts distracted. He’d pull up a small wooden chair, or take up residence on the couch, bending dutifully over whatever task Erwin gave him, his focus admirable.

But as Erwin’s responsibilities as Commander increased, as their situation grew more dire over the days and weeks, as the demand weighed down his shoulders and tugged at his eyelids, Levi’s presence in the evening became a permanent fixture. He brought food, he tidied the stacks of books, he organized files, he mixed honey into Erwin’s tea and snuck in a spoonful of white powder from Hanji for tension headaches. A shadow moving around Erwin as he worked, aiding him in countless little ways until Erwin could not imagine the office at night without Levi in it.

As the hours grew late it didn’t hurt to join Levi on the couch. They worked more efficiently that way, able to converse and exchange information without having to stand or raise their voices above a conspiratorial whisper.

As his routine settled it didn’t hurt to relax a little. Propping his feet up on the table and working with the papers in his lap, Erwin didn’t have to squint to make out the increasingly-small lettering while the pressure of Levi’s shoulder against his arm soothed him.

As Levi’s presence changed from the flickers of a shadow to the steadiness of Erwin’s own right hand, it didn’t hurt to give himself over to a stolen moment of rest. Head leaned on Levi’s shoulder, the warmth between them pleasant in the stone chamber, Erwin snored gently as Levi worked.

And if Levi’s shoulder shifted and Erwin woke groggily, nodding into the undone cravat around Levi’s neck as the smaller man turned to face him- no one would see.

And if Erwin’s fingers found Levi’s shirt and opened a few more buttons, their chill as they spread over Levi’s bare chest pulling a sharp breath from his lungs- no one would hear.

And if their lips met, eyes closing to the world, tongues pressing hesitantly until their mouths opened and their kiss deepened-

No one would know.


End file.
